Painting Images With Light
The Part 63
Bagio might be completely insane, with his mental and physical problems tormenting this time.
It has been a month since the stabbing of Sarimunah's father.
The scar has indeed dried up, but apart from that, Bagio's condition seems to be getting worse.
Bagio's work during this one month, was mostly just an endless mess, which felt extremely exhausting.
Almost every shooting session, Bagio became months of anger from photographers, or other people who work with him.
It could happen, as a result of Bagio still not being able to control himself, from the excessive anxiety he felt, to him not being able to pose and express well.
The overall situation in the world of work, exacerbated by the increasing weight of Bagio, until almost uncontrollable.
And so the cause, most likely, because of Bagio who can not exercise as he usually does every day.
It seems, the side effects of exercise habits that suddenly stopped, which makes the weight gain Bagio, up to a few pounds.
The size of Bagio's body circumference, especially in the abdomen that continues to widen, over time, will certainly disrupt his work contract for fashion shows, and clothing shoots.
Not to mention his schedule is getting denser, because he has to divide the time, between work, and therapy sessions with psychiatrists.
And still added, with a call from the police who asked for his testimony, for the handling of the case of Sarimunah's father, which made Bagio had to repeatedly go to the police station.
The opportunity for Bagio to rest is also interrupted by nightmares, which always appear every time Bagio falls asleep.
Even according to Bagio, the nightmares he experienced, it became more frequent, every time he closed his eyes, both when he fell asleep during the day, and at night.
In addition to feeling that his body is tired and sick every time he wakes up from his sleep, Bagio can also remember all the events, in his nightmares are various.
But all his nightmares, he had one experience and one feeling in common, that it was as if Bagio was being attacked, and he was going to die in his dream, which felt very real.
The exhausted Bagio, both mental and physical, because of all that experienced by him, makes it so that Bagio can not control his emotions.
So that at one time, Bagio almost hit one of the assistant photographers, who had scolded Bagio, while blurting out a mockery with harsh words, at one of the shooting locations.
However, after his anger erupted, then suddenly subsided, Bagio felt very guilty, and as if he felt like crying.
Of course, Bagio's sudden ups and downs like that, were not normal.
Meetings for expensive consultations, and so did the drugs, which he recently received and he consumed, from the psychiatrists who treated him, did not seem to help much.
For those who don't have a clue, what to do, really feel down.
According to Hana, who got information from the psychiatrist who treated Bagio, now, Bagio began to show symptoms of severe depression, as if Bagio had not progressed, with the treatment he received.
Bagio was advised to take a break from his work first, or at the very least, he had to reduce his overcrowded work schedule.
But it can't be done all of a sudden, because his employment contract has been in place since last month.
And if Bagio does not do his job in accordance with the contract, then Bagio certainly has to compensate for the loss of the cancellation of his contract.
Let alone to pay compensation for the cancellation of the contract, Bagio's debt in the agency alone is many in number.
Although according to Hana, the reduction of Bagio's debt will be done gradually, so that Bagio can still receive his salary, even though only a small part of it each month.
In addition, Bagio is also recommended to be more social with the closest people, which can be a place to talk freely, without the need to cover up the situation.
But who will Bagio interact with?
In addition to Kartono who is usually a friend of Bagio can freely tell stories openly, there is only Hana, Citra, Dirga, Sucitra, and Andi, which is recognized by Bagio, in the city.
It was impossible for Bagio to speak to Hana, who seemed to be as tired as Bagio, because of taking care of his work and the chaotic emotions of Bagio.
As for Citra, Bagio did not want to be a burden for the woman.
Bagio even encouraged Citra to stay away from him, and was completely unwilling to connect, or meet with Citra again, for quite some time recently.
Dirgav ... Since the young man was hospitalized, he had never returned to Dorm, and Bagio had no idea what he was going to do now.
While Sucitra, when Bagio had a bad dream that night, it was the last time Bagio could talk to the woman.
Because the next day, when Bagio was already at the shooting location, Sucitra sent a message to Bagio, if he would travel out of town.
And until now, Sucitra still has not returned from his trip, so that Bagio can not talk to him, as usual.
Bagio also felt embarrassed, if he had to talk about his personal problems, which sounded crazy to Andi.
Because of the relationship between Bagio and Andi, it seems that it has not come that close, until Bagio can make Andi, as a listener for the outpouring of hearts.
***
Bagio who returned to Dorm, when the time that had shown almost ten o'clock in the night, then lay face down on his bed.
So did Juno and her partner, who had been precisely this long, never again seen the trunk of their nose, inside the Dorm.
Bagio guessed, if the two roommates were, maybe they did not live in Dorm, and maybe if they already had a new place to live outside.
I don't know how long Bagio remained face down on his bed, but his eyes still did not want to be invited to cooperate.
As if, the brain of Bagio did not allow Bagio, in order to fall asleep.
To the extent that, Bagio's hand was tingling, there was still not the slightest drowsiness that approached him.
Suddenly, the sound of her room door opening.
Bagio then turned around, and with a hint of light from the corridor outside the room, Bagio looked at Sucitra who was walking in, while dragging her suitcase.
"Light the lights!" bagio said.
"Eh! ... You haven't slept?" The voice from Sucitra, sounded as if she was completely shocked, because it was Bagio who reprimanded her.
Sucitra then turned on the lights in the room, then continued to pull his suitcase whose wheels were dragged on the floor, until approaching to his wardrobe.
While Bagio, rose from his bed, then sat on the edge of his bed, on the side closest to Sucitra's bed.
"Why haven't you slept? It's almost midnight now" said Sucitra, looking astonished.
"I can't sleep" said Bagio.
Sucitra sat on the edge of his bed, on the side nearest to the bed of Bagio, so face to face with Bagio there.
Sucitra looked at Bagio, from the tip of his hair to his feet.
"Nearly a month we did not meet. But I think you look bad now" said Sucitra.
Bagio did not comment on Sucitra's words, and just looked at him, while locking his mouth tightly.
"What's wrong with you? Is there a problem?" sucitra asked, standing up and approaching Bagio, then scrambling Bagio's hair.
Bagio simply brushed off Sucitra's hand, and remained silent, as he did not know what to say, or where to begin the story of the matter.
"Are you angry with me?" asked Sucitra, while standing in front of Bagio.
"No," replied Bagio.
"Then what's up?" Again, Sucitra asked Bagio.
If you only look at the style of Sucitra, the woman looks like a rude and impatient person.
But the nature of a person, it cannot be if only judged from the visible outside only.
Because Sucitra, maybe it could be considered as the most patient person, when facing Bagio.
As if he did not care, even though Bagio did not answer his question, Sucitra then sat down beside Bagio.
"In the city of xx, the place I went to, I met someone, whose face and stature were similar to yours....
... To the point that I almost mistakenly recognized him, and almost called him using your name" Sucitra said.
"Aren't you in trouble, every time you go to a new place, there's no one you recognize there?" ask Bagio.
"Hm ... You mean maybe lonely, huh? Because there's no talking partner?" Sucitra then asked back.
"Yes" said Bagio.
"Use your phone! ... Just call the people you know there, if you ever need a friend to talk to," Sucitra said.
"The problem is, there are not many people I know" said Bagio.
"Bckck! ... Can you call me?!" Sucitra.
"I'm not good. How do you know you are busy working" said Bagio.
"Bagio, Bagio! ... You send a message first! If I'm not busy anymore, we can just call. Video calls can be." Sucitra seemed to shake his head.
"Now ... What's the problem?" ask Sucitra.
"Many," answered Bagio.
Sucitra stood up, and went to open his suitcase, then pulled out a can of beer from inside.
After that, Sucitra was then seen walking towards the window, opening it wide, then sitting in a chair near it.
"Then, just tell them one by one. I'll listen to him" said Sucitra, lighting a cigarette.
