Not a Common Widow (Status Only)

Arman's Sadness

In the car, Arman just kept silent without even talking. He leaned his body on the seat with his eyes closed. Rey continues to drive without a drive. D did not dare to ask, he simply obeyed what his father had commanded.

"Rey, please take Papa to Bogor!" pinta Arman with her voice.

"Well, Pah," Rey replied without refusing.

The journey continues, until they arrive in Bogor precisely at the house that the Arman family used to live in. Arman breathed in the air slowly and took it out roughly.

"The place is still the same as it used to be" Arman said.

Arman never sold the house they used to live in. Although his parents' business went bankrupt, he forbade his mother to sell his house, the reason is only one, many memories.

Step by step Arman passed, Rey just followed wherever her Papa went. Arman continued down every corner of the room that was there. Everything still looks neat and clean, Arman always assigns someone to take care of him.

His steps stopped when he was right in front of the entrance of the sister's room. Nervousness suddenly approached, a circle of cold sweat began to pour out, he was afraid of something that made him disappointed.

"Well, what's wrong?" ask Rey confused.

"It's okay, Papa's just nervous."

"Oh, Rey wants to go ahead first, Pah. Want to buy food." Rey's permission and nod by Arman.

Rey passes by leaving Papa, and Arman begins to hold the doorknob. He slowly opened the door to his sister's room.

Once inside, Arman's eyes continued to search every corner of the room, watching carefully for something that might be a clue to him.

Arman was a little frustrated when he couldn't find anything. But he did not give up, until the net his eyes were fixed on the small drawer in the closet. When he opened his eyes he found a small box of wood the size of a jewelry ring box.

Slowly opening it, there was a piece of paper inside. He unfolded, his heart pounded, his hands trembled, his eyes glazed over, he could no longer hold back his tears as he read word for word.

"For my dear sister.

When Kaka reads this letter I may be gone, none from your side, none from our parents' side, none from our home, or perhaps none from this world.

Ka Arman, thank you for the affection that I have given me, thank you for all the kindness and concern Kaka has had over the years.

Ka Arman, you've always been my greatest Kaka, you've always taken good care of me. Protecting me at all times, and always keeping me away from the bad.

I'm sorry.I'm sorry I let you down, I can't take care of myself. I'm devastated, I'm devastated, something bad has happened to me. I'm pregnant, I'm ashamed of God, I'm ashamed of myself, I'm ashamed of you. Let me live my days without you, I want to get out of your life. Once again forgive me, I love Kaka forever.

From your sister, Sofi."

Arman was sobbing, even though he was a man, but he also had feelings.

"Worthy of your graduation time, you look sad, and moody. So, this is why you changed, Deck? Forgive Kaka, Kaka is insensitive to your condition, forgive Kaka who does not know your problem" said Arman with eyes that have shed tears.

"Sophiiii!!" she screamed with her hair frustrated.

"Stupid you're Arman, you stupid idiot. It's useless." As for Arman, he punched the wall hard.

Arman constantly blames himself, he vents his anger at the wall. No matter the blood or the pain he feels.

"Papa, what are you doing? Don't hurt yourself, Pah!" Rey tried to stop the madness of her Papa.

"Surge you Rey! Papa doesn't care how much pain Papa feels, your aunt is much sicker Reyhan." Snapped Arman still trying to punch the wall.

"Papa thinks with Papa like this aunty would like? No, Pah! She'll feel sad, she'll feel guilty, Pah." It was Sergey Rey who kept trying to prevent his father.

The words Rey spoke made Arman limp, he put his forehead on the wall, then turned to lean his body on the wall and lowered himself down in a sitting position.

Arman is trying to master the emotions that are currently approaching him, he feels chaotic and confused what to do.

"Why are Papa's emotions uncontrollable? What really happened, Pah" Reyhan asked when he saw the state of the father had improved.

Without answering the child's words, Arman showed him the letter he found. Reyhan picked it up and read it, his eyes glazed over, he felt the pain his aunt felt. Surely at that time he was very devastated, his future was destroyed by irresponsible people, and even more sick when he needed the support of his mother instead drove him out without mercy.

****

Arman's Residence

"Mom, eat first! From this afternoon, I haven't eaten yet" persuaded Dinda.

"Mom's not eating yet, Din. I want to wait for Arman to come home!" reject Saras firmly.

"But it's late at night, you'll get sick."

"Mother still wants to wait for Arman!" chortled.

"Mom, Grandma should eat! It's for Grandma's health too. If Grandma's healthy, we can find Aunt Sofi!" Amel persuaded the Grandmother to use her son's name, hoping she would eat.

Dinda and Saras turned their heads, Dinda glared at the child not to continue. But Amel didn't care about the Mother's plotting, he continued to persuade her grandmother.

"You're, right? Don't you want to meet with Auntie?" ask Amel.

"Grandmother really wanted to meet her, Mel. Grandma wanted to apologize and make amends for all the mistakes Grandma had done to her. But Grandma was afraid she wouldn't forgive Grandma." Saras spoke with teary eyes.

"Mom, nothing is impossible. Sofi would forgive Mom. I know what Sofi is like, her heart is kind, and very soft. Dad's education made Arman and Sofi into good people" said Dinda.

Time has shown 23.00 but, Arman still hasn't returned. Until a while later, the sound of cars was heard in their ears. At the moment, Saras and Dinda are in the living room, while Amel is sleeping in his room. They are waiting for Arman's return.

"Somel." Call the mother after seeing her child pass through her.

Arman paused for a moment, he did not want to look.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Because of what Mom did, your dad got sick and died." Mother said full of pleadings and regrets.

Arman clenched his hand. He felt angry, disappointed, sorry to be one. Angry at the lies that his mother hid, disappointed that Sofi did not want to share the sadness he experienced as if Arman was not important to his sister, and regret that he could not take good care of his sister and regret that he believed in his mother more.

"Mom's sorry, I was wrong to hide this, I'm sorry Arman." Saras apologized in between his tears and tried to grab the child's hand but his hand was patted by Arman.

"Mom should apologize to my sister, the child that I hurt was born, and her inner self. I'm disappointed Mom, I didn't think Mom was like that!" After saying such a word he left the mother who looked for the attitude of the child.

Adhering to your emotions and passions will only make you regret, perhaps regret is a gift from God for what you have done before. Until that regret teaches you to always be careful in any case.