Noctah Black Marriage

Self-Esteem

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Hans had been looking for a job for a week, but could not get it. The sound of the electric token should be recharged disperse daydreams. 

"Kok, it's over again? Yesterday's feelings were filled on the 29th. Not even two weeks, time's up?" I muttered to myself.

I took the calendar sitting on the table to make sure. Suddenly my netra felt something strange while checking the numbers. Usually from the row of numbers like something circled by a red marker.

"Astaghfirullah ... Allahu akbar ... By allah!" myrag.

With nothing circled red, it means I have not yet come to the moon. Waitaminute! One, two, three and so on. 

"Huh, I'm a week late!" my peek.

This heart is so heart-pounding. Unbeknownst to Hans I bought a test pack. I can't wait to check it out.

***

This time I woke up before dawn. Pregnancy tests I have used according to instructions. The sudden second after second was extremely precious. At the limit of the last minute, these eyes squinted, peeking at the slight lines that appeared.

"Well, is this line two? Oh my God, is this really line two?" I cheered myself in the bathroom.

"Why, how long in the water? What else?" hans's reprimand seems to be on the way.

"Shortly," I said quickly.

I hid the tespack behind my shirt. Because, I chose to delay to tell. Because of a fake pregnancy yesterday, I became anxious when it turned out to be really pregnant. 

Will Hans believe it? Will he grant all my cravings? Guilt also makes me feel sad.

"Which, what are you doing? I think it's very tense." Hans watched me rise from behind the door.

"Ah, how tense? Not really," I deny.

"Okay, careful! I couldn't stand it" he said, holding his stomach.

I, who was standing in the doorway, instantly shifted.

Forced this happiness for a while I buried myself first. I'll find a good time to tell him.

My pregnancy this time was full of anxiety and fear. I can't think relax. Anything becomes a thought. Including our financial situation. Hans never got a job.

"What about the future of this child?" I muttered while stroking my stomach.

***

"Well, I'm a little old today, because I want to see a friend in Cibadak. Who knows if he can give you a job."

"When do you think I'm coming home?"

"Later afternoon."

"Yes, be careful."

"Yes, Yang. You're careful at home too."

He left after finishing a plate of fried rice. As long as Hans isn't around, I'll take the time to check into the hospital. How happy it was when the doctor told me I was pregnant. The gestational age is expected to enter the fifth week. The doctor advised me not to stress and not to do heavy work in this first trimester. He also suggested that I consume enough foods high in folic acid.

After the doctor, I decided to shop for all the foods recommended for young pregnant people. There is milk of pregnant women, fruits, green vegetables, nuts, dairy products, red meat, chicken meat, and fish.

Once at home I checked my groceries. After I calculated all the expenses today, it turned out to be pretty decent too. Fifteen pieces have been taken from savings. If the month continues to take savings, it could run out of my money. I'd better use that money for business. In order not to just run out. But I am confused as to what effort?

"Hoek, hoek, hoek ...." I was vomiting suddenly.

 In my experience, usually nausea vomiting is only felt at the age of two months of pregnancy. But now, it feels faster.

So nauseous, I was just lying in front of the TV. Unconsciously, I fell asleep until Hans came home at five in the afternoon.

"Which, what are you doing? It's pale, "he looks very worried.

"I'm not feeling well."

Suddenly the nausea came again. In front of Hans, I sped this mouth. Fortunately, it did not come out vomit. If it happened, he would have wondered more.

"Why, catch a cold?"

"Yes." Yeah."

"Do you want me to kerokin?"

"It doesn't matter, Mas. I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Yes, have you eaten yet?" I just shook my head. "What do you eat the same? Let me masakin," he bargained.

"I want to boil a banana."

"Boiled banana? Tumben once."

Because in the house and the neighboring stalls there are no bananas, so he was forced to go to the market. The market is not too far away. Though he had just come from Cibadak, for his wife's sake was like tireless. It makes me feel lucky to be married to Hans.

Twenty minutes later.

Hans came home with two bags of crackles in hand. One bag contains banana bangka, the other bag of young mango.

"Well, why buy young mangoes? Make what?"

"Yes, make petis. As soon as possible," he replied enthusiastically.

"Tumben really."

"So when I saw it in the market, I suddenly wanted to."

Well, lest Hans crave food in my place? 

"Mas, is that his mango cut now?"

"Yes, I want petis now. Oya, there's brown sugar just as bad?"

"There was. It's on the spice rack." 

Hans immediately gave it to him, salt, brown sugar and cayenne. Impatiently he also chocolate pieces of young mango.

"You want to?"

Hans seemed to be enjoying the pecker. Heedless of his wife's comments. Though as far as I have long ago, he did not like petis or rujakan. I am more and more convinced that my husband is cravings.

Magrib's coming.

I prayed three rakaats and Hans was his priest. After the prayer, also pay a few verses. We just sit and talk in front of the tv. There is no dinner. Neither me nor Hans were having a taste for rice.

Hans poured out his almost desperate feelings because to this day has not got a job. Today is also the final limit he holds his best friend's cafe. Tomorrow he said the cafe would start being offered to others. 

"Mas ...," he called me unanswered.

Apparently he overslept. To fill the boredom, I just watch soap operas. 

Suddenly Hans's phone let out a ringtone. "Mas, somebody called" I said.

However, as he fell asleep he did not wake up. The ringtone from his postel kept ringing repeatedly. I had to lift up too.

"Hallo," I said to a contact owner named Reihan. He is the owner of the cafe that will be sold tomorrow.

"Yes hello. This is Hans' wife, huh?"

"Yes right. Anything to tell my husband?"

"Yes, Mother. I want to talk."

"Wait a minute" I asked.

I woke Hans up, but he just rubbed his eyes, then fell asleep again. Maybe because he was tired this afternoon so he slept very soundly.

"How Ma'am? Does Hans exist?"

"Ouch, sorry. He's already asleep. It's hard to wake up."

"Oh, huh?"

"If anything to talk about can pass me by. Later delivered."

"Look, regarding the cafe, can not be attempted to be bought by Hans alone? Too bad, Mother. The cafe began to grow in his hands."

"I've persuaded him to think about it, but Hans still remains on the original decision."

"That's all, ma'am, I talked for the last time. It's okay, I lower the price again. Yes itung-itung for the sake of our friends all this time. Honestly, it is a pity that the cafe fell into the hands of others. Looking for a job right now, it must be hard to be Hans' age."

"Yes, anyway. Hans hasn't gotten a job yet."

"Well, there it is. Buy it, Ma'am. Rest assured, there must be some money. If you want to be paid twice, you can also. All can be talked about again."

Shut up and think for a moment.

"Ehmm ... how much does it cost after it's taken down?"

"I give you the price of 2.4 M."

"2.4 M?"

The price is still high. If I count my total savings, there are still less than 300 million more.

"Yes, how's Mom? It is a strategic cafe. The area is also good. That's the cheapest price. Price of friends."

"Can't it be 2.1 M?"

Reihan and I started to bargain. He obviously objected to the offer I made. After several bargaining times, agree on a price of 2 billion 250 million. 

"Deal yes, Ma'am. The day after I will go to Sukabumi to take care of the buying and selling process," he said sounding happy.

"Yes, bismillah."

"Thank you, Ma'am. It's good to talk to Salma."

"Yes, thank you again."

The phone conversation ended. Pretty hot dipped. It didn't feel like half an hour we were talking.

I really didn't think I'd decide to buy the cafe. Though Hans had warned me not to use my personal savings. Yes what can be done, rather than the savings are withdrawn and every need, better used the business. Given that I'm pregnant now, it's possible that my son's father is unemployed. 

The clock shows at 10 p.m. I'm not going to sleep. Drowsiness turns into was was. How am I gonna be honest with Hans tomorrow, huh? I'm afraid he's angry and feels unappreciated.

***

Because last night, I woke up this morning to bad luck. The sunlight that had barged in through the glass window made me glare. Check the clock at the desk. 

"Huh, eight o'clock?" seruku.

I'll get up and take a shower. Why didn't Hans wake up? After the shower, I looked for him. Uh, apparently sitting pensively in front of the TV.

"Mas," said.

"Sit down!" tell him without looking.

"Why, Mas?" ask me after sitting next to him.

"Can you not, respect me as your husband, as the leader of this household?" asking her with a yell makes me jump.

"I mean, Mas?" forehead shrinking.

"What do you mean you decided to buy Reihan's cafe?"

"Oh, that?"

"What, huh? Oh, you want to show off, if you always have money?" his tone was cynical with reddened eyes.

"Mas, I mean it's not like that at all."

"Then what was it like? Since long ago, you were indeed happy huh, stepping on the husband's pride? You have money, so can you?" his scar pierced the heart whose debris was still not intact due to treason.

"Enough, Mum!" my yelling.

Brakk .. The table was instead hit hard by Hans. Makes my heart almost jump out of place.

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