My wife Slave of Lust

Fretful Grass

...POV LIANA...

That afternoon ...my husband left for the last time. Although I knew his departure in order to gain sustenance, but still as a wife, I was always plagued with worry and did not want to be left behind. Especially at this time, I just finished giving birth. There is a strange sense of always wanting to be accompanied, because now we already have a baby.

All this time, I tend to hide my feelings more, rather than having to express them directly to my husband. Because I know, that's how he is. I can't demand him to do more or just be a lover according to my will. I can't force it.

However, on the other hand, I am also very grateful to be able to live with a patient and loving figure like him. Apart from the few flaws he had, he also had his own advantages. Although sometimes his insensitivity always succeeds in upsetting me and even pressing my heart, but all this time I still try to be able to understand. By not complaining much let alone worrying about small things that sometimes ignite emotional embers.

However, the name of deceiving his own heart is not always beautiful to live. Sometimes I also feel like he doesn't really love me because he never shows a jealous expression. Never asked anyone who communicated with me. Never even praise and even apologize if you make mistakes that sometimes make anger even more hunting.

Honestly, it's always been a success to make me push myself. Sometimes I can only cry when he is not home. I was upset, I was hurt, but I couldn't express myself. Because when he meets again, he will act as if nothing ever happened between us.

There are many more trivial things that I think are so important, but not the same in my husband's view. If I make a list in a book it might take a night to write it down.

I know that man is born with many shortcomings, and so am I. I can no longer hide the sense of boredom that every day sometimes attacks my mind. Although I tried to cover it up, my heart could not fully accept it.

I was disappointed, but I couldn't make a move. I want to be angry, but I have no reason to do so. I want to be understood, but I also have to understand him, who has been so good without even looking angry.

Yeah, it's true. I am a dilemma. There is something that makes me a little uncomfortable living with Ibra, but also still force myself to continue to survive, for the sake of the integrity of the household.

If asked, have I been living in theatrics?

Yes, I do have a lot of theatrics. Pretending to be okay, when in fact I was very hurt. Wounded by my own stupidity that cannot be frank with him. I still think about his feelings. I'm still thinking about her good treatment. I was still thinking about what the world would say, if I parted with him just because of trivial things.

Doesn't that sound so funny?

If not, then I am crazy. Married the man I thought I loved more than anything. But not in fact.

Maybe he really loves me. But the way he loves it is not in line with what is in the context of my expectations.

...POV LIANA ALVIDA...