My Mother is a Transvestite

Transitional Period

The ink scratches in the diary flowed more intensely along with Ana's struggle in accepting her. An entry dated April 15, 1992 caught the attention of Ima.

"Today I decided to start living as Ana, as the woman I always felt was inside me."

Located in the attic that begins to cool with twilight, Ima reads with increasingly teary eyes. Accompanied by the dim attic lights and the occasional rat sound, Ima felt as if she was witnessing Ana's struggle firsthand.

"Sister, what did you read?" Joseph asked in a soft voice, his face full of curiosity. His big eyes looked at Ima expectantly.

Ima looked at Joseph, her eyes twinkling. "It's about a pivotal moment in Mom's life, when she decides to be her true self."

Joseph looked confused. "What does Brother mean?"

"I felt so anxious when I entered the clothing store. I want to buy a dress. My first dress," Ima read out another entry, her voice shaking. "When I tried that lavender dress, I felt free. This is how I should be."

With trembling hands, Ima showed a small sketch in the corner of the courtyard to Joseph. A picture of a woman standing in a graceful lavender dress, looking happy and satisfied.

"He must be very brave, huh, brother?" joseph comments with shining eyes.

Ima nodded. "Very. Imagine how hard it is to defy societal norms and expectations."

Joseph sat cross-legged, his hands clasping his chin. "But why did you have to go through all that, sister?"

Ima sighed. He looked out, at the twilight sky that was now starting to turn golden orange. The birds fly home to the nest, and the leaves of the tree move slowly in the breeze. "Because, Joseph," Ima answered gently, "sometimes, to be who we really are, we have to go through various obstacles."

They fell silent, permeating every word that had just been read. Among the silence, Joseph spoke, "I am glad that Mother chose to be herself. She's the best mother."

Ima smiled, hugging Joseph tightly. "I agree." The two brothers then move on to another entry, where Ana writes about the transvestite community she met. How they support each other in joy and sorrow, how they become a family for Ana.

Ima looked at Joseph, their eyes met each other, both of them had a deep sense of understanding. They not only read Ana's life story, but also felt every emotion, pain, and happiness she experienced.

Amidst the silence of the attic accompanied only by the sound of rain outside, the two children share an emotional moment, understand more deeply about the struggles and sacrifices of their adoptive mother, and celebrate her courage and strength of heart.

As the night progresses, the dim attic lights send out increasingly softer light. Ima and Joseph remained seated together, swept away in the memory of Ana's past, which is set out in the pages of the diary.

"February 5, 1995" Ima read in a soft voice, "Love comes when we least expect it. I met Amir at a small cafe in the corner of the city. The cafe was surrounded by red and white roses, which smelled like touching every visitor's nose."

Ima could imagine Ana, sitting in the cafe, the twilight sun peeping on her cheeks, the aroma of coffee and roses circling the air. Amir, with his wavy black hair and deep eyes, sitting opposite him, his smile made Ana's heart pound.

The two engage in light conversation, Ana's eyes capturing details of Amir's face, ranging from the fine lines at the corners of his eyes as he laughs to the way he sips his coffee attentively.

"Amir...," Yusuf looked at Ima with a puzzled look, "Who is he, Brother?"

Ima took a deep breath, "It seems, she is someone who means a lot to Mom."

They continue reading, knowing how Ana and Amir's relationship developed from just friends to lovers who loved each other very much. They share memories, from watching a movie together to taking a walk in the city park at sunset, with golden orange skies and tree leaves dancing in the wind.

"On October 18, 1995," Ima's voice quivered as she read, "Amir said that she could no longer be with me. Heart's broken. I feel like the world is collapsing. However, I know that his decision was not because he didn't love me."

Joseph took over the diary, his eyes glazed over as he read the passage about Amir's departure. "But why? Why would Amir leave Mom if he loved her?"

Ima stroked Joseph's cheek gently. "Sometimes, love isn't enough reason for two people to stay together, Yus."

As she was about to close the diary, Ima found a recipe written in light blue ink. "Look at this," he said in an excited voice, trying to divert their grief.

"My Favorite Chocolate Cake Recipe," Ima read it with a big smile, "Given by Amir on my 25th birthday."

They both laughed lightly. Joseph said, "So, the secret of Mother's delicious chocolate cake comes from Amir?"

Ima nodded with a laugh, "It turns out so."

Although surrounded by sad stories of love and loss, finding the recipe gives sweetness and hope. Ima and Joseph decide to get down from the attic, carrying the diary and recipe, hoping to create new sweet memories with Ana.

The floor of the attic is now noticeably colder as night begins to creep in. The light of the attic lamp illuminated the faces of Ima and Joseph gently, reflecting their shadows on the adjoining walls. Ima flipped the pages of the diary, her trembling hands feeling the rough yet warm texture of the paper.

"March 3, 1997," Ima began to read, her voice trembling slightly, "Today is one of the most beautiful days of my life. I met two little angels who are now part of my life. Joseph, with his bright eyes, and Ima, with his sweet smile."

Tears to form in Yusuf's large, curious eyes. "So, that was the first time Mom saw us?"

Ima nodded, feeling the esophagus feel dry and tight. "Yes, that's when Mom decided to adopt us."

The scene outside the window was now getting darker, only the moon was shining brightly in the middle of the deep blue sky, and the stars began to appear. The sound of crickets is getting louder, creating a soothing symphony of nature.

Ima continued, "I know that adopting them is not an easy choice, especially with my background. However, when I first saw their eyes, I felt an inexplicable bond. They are my hope, my strength, and the reason to live on."

Joseph gripped Ima's hand tightly. "Sister, why were we in the orphanage before?"

Ima took a deep breath, looking for the right words. "We lost our parents when we were babies. And Mother, with her kindness, chose to make us part of her family."

Amidst the sadness and reflection, Ima smiled as she found her next entry. "On April 10, 1997," he said in a cheerful voice, "Today Joseph and I tried to make pancakes for the first time. Who would have thought the kitchen could turn into a battlefield with flour everywhere!"

Joseph laughed out loud. "I remember that! The pancakes are charred, but we're all laughing until the stomach hurts."

Ima chuckled, her eyes glazed over, recalling those memories. "Yes! Mom's trying to chase us with a spoonful of pancake dough, and we're both hiding under the table."

Joseph, with shining eyes, added, "And when we came out from under the table, our faces were full of flour! Like ghosts!"

The two laughed cheerfully, feeling the simple happiness of a past filled with love and togetherness. Amidst the laughter, there was a deep gratitude for Ana who had given them the opportunity to feel the warmth of the family.

The night had completely surrounded the small town, but in the attic of the old house, the light of love and memory continued to shine, and the, warms the hearts of two brothers who are reminiscing about the struggle and love of a wonderful mother.