My Husband's Marriage
#78. Steven relieved.
It means nothing to cry constantly. Won't get Kenzo back into Dikta's lap. The two children who had been born to Dikta, both of them had left Dikta.
Dikta regrets and blames herself "I am a useless mother, a mother who cannot take care of her children. All the children I gave birth to have died. I was not allowed to have children, because I had wasted the child that was given to me", Dikta continued to blame her.
Dikta continued to hug and kiss Kenzo's body, as this was the last time he saw Kenzo in the world.
Kenzo is buried right next to Merry, "Truly Merry and Kenzo are loyal brothers until the afterlife, Kenzo following Merry want to be close to Merry. Because even in the world Merry and Kenzo were close and loving to each other" Dikta thought in her heart.
After Kenzo was put into his final resting place. Steven, Dikta and Heni return home. Before Steven gets back to his boarding place. Steven walked in and wanted to be in Kenzo's room for a while.
Steven looked at Kenzo's room, saw the last painting Kenzo had drawn. Steven - Heni - Kenzo. There is no Dikta image on Kenzo's painting, as there are no beautiful moments Kenzo can remember along with Dikta.
Steven kept crying in Kenzo's room looking at the rest of the room. Lying on Kenzo's bed and sitting at Kenzo's study table. While continuing to look and look at Kenzo's writing on his school textbook.
Although Kenzo suffers from mental retardation, Kenzo can be like a normal child in doing homework and studying.
Kenzo learned with normal children, not with mentally retarded children. Because Kenzo can be taught and directed, Kenzo can be made independent without the help of others.
More and more Steven felt lost when he saw there was a letter written by Kenzo when Steven left his.
Dear Papa Steven
I'm so happy and happy to have a papa like Papa Steven.
Although I was not too spoiled, but true papa has made me to be more independent and disciplined.
Now I realize how important it is to be independent. Because now that Papa Steven's not home anymore, papa Steven has left me forever.
Papa Steven won't be home with me anymore. Not going to spoil me anymore by buying my favorite food will not take me to the sea again. Screaming loudly so that the tired feeling of temporary thoughts can be forgotten.
I love you so much, Papa Steven. I don't know what made you so that you don't live with me, mom and grandma anymore.
Maybe it's because I'm a kid, so I can't figure out why.
Adult problems are too complicated.
I wish I didn't want to be an adult. I just want Papa Steven to be close and always with me.
Steven continued to cry and tear, reading a letter Kenzo wrote. "I wish I didn't want to grow up, but Kenzo already had a premonition to face the Power" Steven thought to himself as he continued to regret how much Kenzo wanted to get close to him.
Steven looked at the watch that was coiled around his wrist. It's almost dark, it's time for Steven to get back to his boarding house.
Afraid later residents come to gather to immediately throw him out. Because it has been lingering and thought of residents to stay at home with Dikta and conduct conjugal relations.
"Ma, Steven said back to Steven's boarding house" Steven told Heni.
Dikta and Steven were acting ordinary and cold. Just answer with as much as possible, even because it was forced. If there is something important to ask or answer.
Dikta was still in shock and kept confining himself in the room regretting himself. "The two children I gave birth to in my relationship with Steven were taken by the Creator, which means I live this life. For the sins I have committed. I want to repent and come back to Him.
I have been in a forbidden relationship all along, lust has been haunting and rampant inside me.
Wasted of time as long as I lived a life of sin and lies, now there is nothing left.
The good relationship with Bang Steven when I was a brother was so beautiful. Now the relationship as a brother and sister is like nothing to us.
Such a hostile relationship eludes each other. Even living in a house cannot. Due to social sanctions given by the community for our forbidden relationship before.
I must live my life normally according to the Will of the Divine", thought the Dikta in his innermost heart, Dikta has realized all the sins and wrongs he has committed.
Steven immediately went out of the house and returned to his boarding place.
*****
"Why you Steve, when I came home I saw him pensive and limp" asked Willi Beni's friend and neighbor at his boarding place.
"My son Kenzo passed away yesterday, and today is his funeral. I am so sad and so lost him.
It just so happens that my relationship with Kenzo has been well established and fairly close all along. After his departure half my soul felt lost, so tight and almost so hard to breathe" Steven told as he tearfully.
"I'm so sorry Steve, may the family be given fortitude, sincerity and patience, I believe you're a strong friend!, face this ordeal", Willi gives encouragement and support.
"Oh yes, why did you go straight back to the boarding place. Is your sister Dikta eeh sorry, your wife!, not feeling lost and devastated?, you should accompany her now at home.
Yesterday you said just while staying in this boarding house, you want to avoid Dikta not wanting to have a husband-wife relationship anymore. Why are you getting more and more often, even living in this boarding house every day?", asked Willi puzzled.
"Oh yes, sorry Will. I haven't opened up to you yet, because I'm still sad about not being at home with Kenzo.
When I got out of the house, Kenzo was so sad, crying and thrashing about wanting to come with me, I just passed by and kept leaving.
After arriving at this boarding house I have not had time to tell you, because it intends to calm down first.
Four days ago Angelica came to see me, I did not have time to ask where Angelica got my home address in Tanjung Karang.
Intended to ask for our marriage certificate, as a condition for him to take care of the Family Card and birth certificate of our son Gemilang.
I invited him into the house and spoke carefully so as not to be heard by the neighbors. I said that the marriage license wasn't on me and I immediately kicked her out.
Turns out Angelica found out the validity of my Family Card, the condition is that there must be a marriage license. Angelica knew that if I was a brother and sister with Dikta, Angelica also suspected Kenzo was at home. Angelica reports to Lurah's office.
Long story short, I can't stay home anymore. Dikta and I can no longer relate as husband and wife, let alone have a husband-wife relationship.
That's the story of why I live here" Steven told me at length.
"Oh thank God, don't you really expect to leave this life full of lies?", Willi asked back.
"Yes. But I am ashamed, the whole community must look despicable and disgusted at me. They came to my house yesterday to find out why officers suddenly came to the house" Steven said bowed.
"It's okay friends, it's a consequence of the mistakes we've made. Now that you feel relieved, you can leave a life full of lies. Oh yes, what about Dikta?, did Dikta accept this decision?", Willi was curious and curious.
"Before Dikta did not accept, Dikta grew increasingly indifferent to Kenzo, continuing to confine himself in his room with annoyance.
But with Kenzo gone, it seems like Dikta has regretted his cuckoo and lack of concern for Kenzo. Dikta continued to blame himself and was very sorry", Steven told Dikta's condition.
"Good then, then also gradually Dikta can eliminate his sadness, do you not comfort, give strength and support to Dikta?", asked Willi curiously.
"Let me feel indifferent to him, that Dikta may forget me. Later Dikta thought that I still wanted to have sex with her, or instead I became tempted to lust like we started it first", Steven gave an excuse.
"Hopefully your life will be better later on!", Willi is optimistic.
"Oh yeah, how did Angelica, it seems like Angelica didn't sue you?", Willi added and also curious.
"Yes until now Angelica has not sued me and even filed for divorce with me, Maybe next time, because now her mind is still confused and dizzy" Steven told Angelica's condition.
"You don't want to talk to Angelica yourself?", Willi tried to tease Steven.
"Actually I want to refer to it, but if I rush to say it in front of Dikta.
I'm afraid Dikta will be furious and desperate. So that I did not express my desire to refer to Angelica.
I hope God gives us his riddho so we can refer back", Steven hoped.
"Hopefully yes friend!, I always wish you the best", Willi gives support and encouragement.
"Thank you Will, you've always supported and supported me. You also want as my friend to vent out all my grunts, that's good enough for me to reduce a little bit of the fatigue that's in my head", Steven smiled widely and happily.
