My husband is not my first love
Seeing It in Sleep and Awake
Don't know anything else. When he woke up, he was lying in a white-painted room. Seraut always calm face looks anxious, his black eye bags must not sleep all night.
“Thank God, it's okay everything will be fine.”
“Something happened?” I asked curiously while trying to sit down.
“Sorry, I should have once been able to force you.” The man held my hand tightly. “I promise next time, will not compromise on something as important as this.”
“What happened to this hospital?”
“What's wrong, the doctor has done his job, done his best. Only now do I have to be more assertive to intervene.”
"What's my pain?"
"Hyperthyroid."
I listened in silence, many medical terms are not understood, the name of the disease was foreign.
“When do we go home?”
“We will hear what the doctor says, Dear.”
I watched the man in the black shirt, as weird as he was joking before he never called me that.
.
“Do not do homework, just leave it there.” The twenty-nine-year-old took over the plate I was washing.
“Boring keep stay in room.”
“You love to make others anxious. Is your husband still capable of doing homework, or are we gonna find a housekeeper?"
I looked up at those soft eyes, frowning seeing that the taller face was not as calm as usual. The radiance of anger was clearly there, the aura of a face that had never been seen before no matter how stubborn I was to her.
“Do I need to say I'm your husband so follow my rules, nothing to overdo?” he wiped my wet hand with a slightly rough napkin making it red.
I don't want to go against it right now despite being shocked by the unusual reaction. It's not time to argue.
“We go to the location of the construction of the dormitory for santri.” Can only obey when that sturdy hand pulls me.
.
“See ... The cultivated froth tree surrounding the location has started to change leaves.”
I just silently heard him, he turned around to tighten my sweater, touching my sweaty cheeks with his two palms before speaking softly.
“Sorry.”
“For what?”
“You know very well you or I, we no longer have a family. We were also separated very far. I'd be so sorry if I couldn't take care of you.”
“I understand.”
Those eyes still looked at me very softly before saying, “there are many things happening that make us like we will not be able to stand, one of the toughest things is when I lost both. It is not about when, time always feels there is nothing right when our loved ones are taken away. When I woke up, I cried for a long time. You know about my trauma?”
I can hear the colored speech of wounds other than the eyes that start to look glassy. I clearly felt what he meant. For the first time during our time together I saw a face that was always calm looking very sad. The eyes were full almost overflowing, while the usually sturdy hands were now weakly wiping his thick hair.
“Alright, let your husband do what he wants to do. I can never be angry with you so understand I'm very anxious. See this body is so thin, so fatal that it has gnawed you that far.”
That shady face touched my warm forehead with her loving kiss.
.
“How? Likey? The dormitory of the santri built from the materials provided by nature will not only save costs as well so that like Aligarmu, Saladin independent pesantren must prioritize simplicity.”
“Thanks.”
“Every santri will have a pair of goats and a pond that will be their responsibility in its maintenance. The results will be divided for pesantren operational costs and into savings that they can withdraw when they expire. It is up to later to be used as business capital or finance further studies.”
“That's why we can't recruit whiny santri candidates, because independence must be trained. They will not only teach here but also learn how to take care of the earth.”
“True.” We looked at each other in agreement.
.
This twilight golden-colored sun, I want to go out to serve a light snack for my husband and his assistant, Raka. Since getting busy with the design of pesantren and his business, he is looking for someone who understands administration, one of the best scholars in the field.
My feet were stuck by the door when I heard his voice.
“Cancel everything.”
“But brother, this is very important, some of his agenda related to pesantren funding.”
“You think there's something more important now?” an unusual tone, he had not previously spoken loudly even to the Mamat mang.
“Why, Ka?” I went in with coffee and a snack.
“Kak, Ria.”
I saw the two looking at each other. Raka who understood the meaning immediately said goodbye.
“Nothing.” Who was not asked answered.
“Is that?” I took a seat by his side with probing eyes.
“Hem .. ” he pulled the seat closer.
“You owe us an explanation.” I looked at him fixedly.
“Alright, I know I can't give in, this is the risk of having a smart wife," He gave a pause before continuing, "What does it mean to do all this business if my queen lying sick can't stand by me, then I didn't accompany him. You know that kind of thing I'm looking for?”
.
Before my eyes closed at night I saw how the simple man brought a glass of warm water. He never forgets my medication schedule in the rush. Even when he woke up he knew how the body's metabolism that affects the stomach more quickly sore, until used to receive a plate of warm rice. Also now very diligent to invite neighbors beside the house to make my favorite food, pempek and tekwan.
We consulted a lot of experts, found out on the internet. This disease makes us learn a lot of new things, because what I suffer is still very step compared to dengue fever or other village-based diseases.
Although it was too late to see a doctor when this disease was approaching a very dangerous limit, but seeing the way the loving man took care of me all felt like it would be fine.
.
I understand why that man was chosen for me, he has a lot of time and patience to accept all my shortcomings, it's about egoizem, stubbornness.
The quiet figure on the side with the melee-managed business made us plenty of time to learn from each other. There are many differences indeed, especially how easy it is to give a woman like me, but we know what we want from this marriage, really. Sakinah in the world is a reflection of the feasibility of bringing this relationship to heaven.
Earth Rafflesia 1616
