My Blinds On The Eagle

S' E' Coz' My Heart Is Just missing You

When I am by myself

looking at photos and videos

that we took

I've been keeping them for so long

and with my broken heart

I see all the pictures of myself

living life without you just feels so wrong

I want you to be here with me

I know it sounds crazy

I miss your laugh and

I miss everything

we used to be

And even if it is just for a while

Then God please give us the time

I can't deal with the reality

there's nothing left that I can do

cause my heart is just missing you

I tried everything

every way I could forget you

just so I can live my life without you

nothing is the same

It's hard for me

to erase all of the memories I have with you

I want you to be here with me

I know it sounds crazy

I miss your laugh and

I miss everything

we used to be

And even if it is just for a while

Then God please give us the time

I can't deal with the reality

there's nothing left that I can do

cause my heart is just missing you

...................   It's that smile I miss from you

*(Missing You by Andmesh Kamaleng - English Version by Emma Heesters )

　

　

　

　

" Mommy.... are the grandmas and grandpas ... good people ? ", the question slid relentlessly from the adorable little lips of the boy who always spoke English.

　

　

" Of course sangaaaat is good ... ",  replied Nilam while stroking the thick hair of his son who is now in the arms of the uncle. While Rayhan his father held Nilam's hand tightly, keeping his wife safe because the ground at the cemetery was a little slippery and wet by the puddles of rain.

　

　

" If sangaaat good...why died the world so fast huh ?. Mommy once said ... if the bad guy must have lost and died quickly ".

　

　

Oh my God, so is the meaning of the eyes of a married couple who are equally cornered with the question and statement of this intelligent boy. While Wildan was holding the source of the day's troubles, he couldn't help but laugh his gel. See how dead I got these two brothers.

　

　

" Is he always this chatty ? ", asked Mrs Kamal who was also shaking his head to see the height of the grandchild who he thought was very clever.

　

　

" It's always ... Just be ready to be a walking encyclopedia with him Mah" Rayhan replied.

　

　

" Dear. But if in the real world ..all is governed by Almighty God. Since man is still in his mother's womb God has arranged how many years he lives, he is male or female..... It was called destiny ", and as always, Nilam always managed to answer wisely.  " If being evil or good depends on the human heart, they themselves choose. Alend understand now ? ".

　

　

" Heeeemm. And I want to be a whiz ", the boy answered excitedly.  "  Grandma ... is she beautiful?... grandpa? not handsome ?".

　

　

" oohs..... Look uncle Will, handsome, right ? ... Mommy is beautiful too, right ? .... That's how Grandma and Grandpa Wirahadi are ", Wildan is proud.

　

　

　

　

The walk leads to two tombs lined up and neatly maintained with fresh green grass that grows preserved. Hasan Wirahadi and Anisa Vien, ternaring side by side in peace. Nilam approached the two tombs, touching his hand to the gravestones bearing their names and the time they lay. It was as if just yesterday the two dearest men were still gently stroking her hair, whispering loving words and giving warm, affectionate hugs. Nilam still remembers how the father woke up with a clap of affection on the cheek and always ended up carrying him out of the room every morning. Until he sat in the second grade of junior high school, when God loved the kind but very firm man. Nilam also can never forget the delicious taste of the cuisine of the mamih that is bloody mixture of Arabic and Chinese, as well as its very jovial nature. Even though Nilam understood very well, the woman kept so heavy the burden of life and also longing for the man she loved so much who had first faced the Creator.

　

　

Wildan shuffled his brother's shoulder which started to shake slightly by the stifled sobs. With a slow squeeze, he reminded that it is forbidden to cry until the sound of his sobbing is heard while on pilgrimage at the tomb. Nilam understood, he took a deep breath. Moments later, led by Rayhan, they all bowed their heads and prayed for forgiveness from the Most Merciful and Merciful for the sins and faults of these two men who had laid in peace. Nilam carved a smile, as the breeze stroked his cheeks gently and dripped, as if it was the affectionate caress of his two parents that God had allowed to approach him for a moment.

　

　

" Mrs Anisa, this is your daughter, too. He has returned.I will look after him ", the whisper was so softly conveyed by lady Kamal. Almost inaudible, but Rayhan realized it and he immediately embraced his mother's friendly shoulder. A smile was on the lips of the two.

　

　

" Thank you Mamah.", whispered Rayhan imperceptibly.

　

　

The group got into a minivan driven by the driver of the Kamal family. Wildan sat in front holding his plump niece who kept chattering asking this. While Nilam was given a place as long as possible a second seat with his mother-in-law, and Rayhan who was sitting at the back was busy calling someone. When viewed from the language used, it must be his business.

　

　

" This.. we go to..... ", Nilam memorized the path taken at this time. Although it has been increasing in number and many lined up mini markets and various vendors of contemporary food along the way. But Nilam knows very well the direction of this road. Out of the crowded city center, slightly enter the area of hills that are still beautiful and bring them to the suburban area that is still cool with the shade of trees. Although now it has grown denser and began to recognize traffic jams, but Nilam will never forget.

　

　

When the car turned and entered the village road that seems to have now been widened, the heart of Nilam pounded twice as fast. But suddenly, madam Kamal clasped her daughter-in-law's fingers tightly, and gave a soothing smile to a mother. Until finally the car stopped in a yard that still looks beautiful with two mango trees on the left right, as well as a variety of ornamental plants are maintained.

　

　

" Come down. ", the voice of lady Kamal resuscitated Nilam from his contemplation.

　

　

I went home .... I went home.. I went home.. and the cry echoed from his heart. Nilam trembled slightly as she got out of the car supported by her husband. While the mother-in-law had first stepped down and opened the door of the house.

　

　

" Eh. mamih's son is home. How is today ??? it's still the sweetest, right ?? ", even the greeting voice was still warm and hugged Nilam's heart. He wept shedding the longing that had been held up all this time.

　

　

Nothing has changed. The terrace is still the same as the old one. Likewise with the living room, family room that doubles the dining room, small kitchen and large kitchen where catering. Even Nilam also still gets his room neat and clean. Just like the old days when he decided to let go for a piece of despair and love.

　

　

" I'm sorry for all your selfishness, son. This house is a gift for the three of you. Although this definitely doesn't match the mistake I've made........ At least, let this old lady be a little relieved ". And madam Kamal gave the keys to the house to Nilam who was now beginning to be touched in her tears.

　

　

" Mamah knows that this will not bring back your happiness that I have taken away. But please accept .... and also let me be your mother ... ", no time Kamal continued his sentence when Nilam had already slammed into the woman's arms. Then both of them were swept away in a happy sob.

　

　

Wildan looked at Rayhan who was also now unable to hide his tears of joy. But her brother-in-law hurriedly wiped away the water droplet that started to corner in her beautiful eyes. Wiladan smiled as he gave a pat on Rayhan's shoulder which also did the same.

　

　

" Mommy. Grandma also ..... what twins kicked again ?".

　

　

" No boy.. mommy cries because she misses ".  Rayhan carried the son in his arms, kissing him very gently.

　

　

It was then that he saw the memory of a promise he made to a woman for the woman he loved so much.

　

　

" Mother. Please be blessed ...... ".

　

　

And now Rayhan whispered through the vibrations of the heart and the chanting of prayers that he again entrusted to seoarang mother...... I just miss you so much Mom and I will always keep my word.