My Blinds On The Eagle

Love takes time and patience

Sometimes choosing silence and settling all the painful feelings, is what should be done. Even not infrequently, words seem no longer needed to explain or straighten something that becomes a cause of feeling. At least that's how Nilam chose to delay everything that was still raging in his heart. Everything related to promise, love and honor. At least there is still pain that he harbors.

His life for almost six years has been full of twists and turns and sacrifices. It is undeniable how his pain when it comes to getting away from everything he loves. How he cried at night while languishing in deep longing. When all women are in a state that should get more attention, love and love abound.

Until the time when the creature was born with a blaring cry in the morning.... It was as if he was the cure of his entire pain. Light for his life, and therapy for all his wounds. He is able to forget the moments of the night crying for revenge while curled up on his complaint. Even being able to accept freely, trying to forgive all circumstances and components that make him have to live life like an outcast.

Looking at the scene before him at this moment, a regret suddenly appeared. On his bed, there were currently two men who had sustained his life story. Rayhan's burly arms became a comfortable pillow for Syailendra, the boy was asleep.

If only he had not gone ... surely such a sight had already become his daily healthy consumption. But... ah, he left also not purely because of his mistake. If only he had fought back then. Nilam is breaking his own feelings. Take a deep breath and decide to throw back all those bad memories.

" I've prepared dinner "

" Yes, I immediately followed ", Rayhan answered quickly. Contrasted with his gentle movements and slowly pulled his arm from under the child's head.

Still took the time to caress her thick hair, chubby cheeks and then gently kiss Syailendra's forehead. Rayhan ended it with a kiss of affection on the forehead. Then leave the bedroom and go to the dining room that blends with the kitchen.

There, he found Nilam preparing a dinner menu on the table. White rice with mustard stir fry and omelet. The menu is very ordinary, not at all special. But for Rayhan who has almost eight months just met rice again. The smell of the shiny fresh green stir fry made him swallow saliva.

" Wow."., ", he murmured in amazement. Without waiting is welcome, he immediately sat down while not taking his eyes off the dish on the table.

" You know. Rice white... heeem ".

" The plan is sauteed kale... but had not had time to shop in the Asian Market ".

" It's been very special Nilam ".

Then both started eating. Without saying much. What is occasionally heard are delicious strokes from Rayhan's lips. While not far in front of him, Nilam watched with a smile.

Not changed. Nilam smiled slightly while being inward. Rayhan seemed to be enjoying his meal. Until then he realized he was being noticed.

" You don't eat ? ", he asked while looking at Nilam

" It's finished", Nilam showed the contents of the plate that had been slippery toilet.

" Then ... I spent everything yes ".

Nilam laughed a little. It seems he no longer needs to say his consent. Behold, Rayhan had already poured the two dishes on his plate and went back to eating them voraciously.

 

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

 

After a warm dinner, when Nilam had just finished putting down the last plate he had finished washing. He felt a warm gust at his neck. Rayhan suddenly hugged her from behind.

It was not that he did not feel Nilam's body suddenly stiffen as he wrapped his arms around the woman's waist and abdomen. It was as if Nilam was trying to create an invisible distance between them. Rayhan deliberately didn't care about any of that.

" That night .. as it is today, the rain drizzled. I ran around here and there. You know. back then my world collapsed ". Rayhan started talking without letting go of his embrace. He drowned his face between Nilam's shoulders and neck.

" I was too frustrated to be able to understand the situation at that time, until I found the letter and ATM you left behind ".

Nilam did not budge, he remained petrified where he stood. Listening to all the whispers of Rayhan banging on the memory of his heaviest wound. Suddenly he felt the atmosphere around him turn into a cloudy and stifling. But he was unable to move, just silent and listening.

" That morning, after we made love for the last time, you still won't let me go. So many times you say you love me so much. You convince me that you are so happy to be a part of my life. But ... why the night, the next day, the next day until the thousand seven hundred and forty-one the next day ..you disappear ", Rayhan's voice sounds soft.

But to Nilam like a painful incision sliced his heart. He remained glued, not knowing how else. While Rayhan did not seem to intend to let go of his embrace. The man said back.

" You've really prepared everything.Yes..your sister's mobile number has changed, your whole family really doesn't know where you two are ".

" But you didn't manage to meet Wildan at his college" suddenly Nilam ambushed.

" Yes, seven months later. After I finish graduation. That day your sister was busy and was preparing to immediately go volunteer to the disaster area. Wildan also kept my number ".

" Wildan ... said that to me ". Nilam recalled that he had been able to meet Rayhan a little. His heart did not deny the desire that was felt increasingly becoming, especially the content when it was almost eight months old.

" I kept my word... That day, one month later......... You know how excited I am ??? My hope of being able to come back with you soon is so great ".

Suddenly Rayhan's expression turned dark, as if a fog of sadness covered his entire handsome face. Slowly he let go of the hook and zipper his trousers.

Nilam was surprised to see what the man before him was doing. Rayhan took off his trousers. Nilam turned away from the sight that made his cheeks meet red. Awfully, Nilam tried to stay away. But Rayhan swiftly blocked his hand, holding back a step.

" Why ? you're my wife!!!!.. Look at what happened to your husband .... look !!! ".

Nilam. Rayhan's voice was so firm, but he could feel a stark sadness. Nilam returned helpless as Rayhan pulled him closer, leading his vision to trace his waist and along his right thigh.

" Oh!!!", Nilam was surprised. Reflexes he shuts his mouth.

It was not because of how attractive the man was with his bare feet. But because the scar extends from under her hip bone to a few inches above her knee. The wound had left a keloid trail.

" What's with your femur bone ?. Broken ? What's going on ? ", Nilam could not stem his curiosity.

" A accident. Right when I'm gonna meet Wildan "

Nilam still fixated, he tried to string one by one memory pieces at that time. How before Wildan called her cheerfully, and told her to stay upbeat and always open her heart to Rayhan and his family. But the day after, his only brother called again and asked him not to remember anymore or even hope again with Rayhan.

" I'm in a coma of twenty-eight days. And rehabilitating for over a year ", Rayhan continues his story.

" That's... maybe two weeks before Syailendra's birth" Nilam was a little nervous.

Rayhan pulled the woman closer and returned to face Nilam. One arm was again wrapped around Nilam's waist, and one hand touched the woman's face and positioned to look up at her.

" I'm. You are always present with me. smiling sweetly and very beautiful. Sometimes ... you're so spoiled, asleep on my lap........... And when I came to my senses, I cried out howling to call your name, like a madman ".

Nilam was still stunned, looking up at the pair of dark eyes. His lips trembled feeling a tightness in the chest that suddenly burst forth.

" But I hold on to the conviction of your words and the content of your letter ".

" Letter ? ".

" The letter you left behind was thrown at us. I read it every day, even now "

" really ? '. Nilam smiled as he shook his head in disbelief.

" *Elang. Promise me one thing, never stop flying. Rain and typhoon do not mean to stop. They just run their nature. There will come a time when you will understand.

Look at the horizon, be assured I am not the horizon. I'm just someone who loves you so much.

You'll understand later. Right now you're pretty sure, I've never stopped loving you .

Forgive me for leaving if I had the strength to fly with you. Let the Eagle... This longing love I carry with your wings*".

Nilam closed his mouth again in disbelief. Rayhan had just finished the last sentence of the letter written six years ago. Her tears welled up, no longer held back.

" We ... are both wounded, both survive. Please forgive my mother, forgive all her faults "

" You..... already know ? ", Nilam asked along with the disintegration of two spheres of clear water from the corner of his eye.

" Yes....... ", Rayhan exhaled heavily. " I already know everything. and try to make peace. Your feelings .. my mother's feelings. I'm sure that love is not to hurt, but to unite ".

Without a sound, Nilam assented. He's patting slowly. It was enough to make Rayhan understand his wife's tenderness even more. Until then night tightened his second hug. Drizzling like a rhythm that leads the two men to re-weave the once unraveled, repairing the once torn.

Let .... enough hearts understand, no need to say anymore. I love you .....