Love Shot X Shot of Love

See you again X See you soon

And things really changed shortly after the eve of my cherished birthday, when Mac announced to me his parents' divorce in due time.

I haven't seen the Mac part since we were ten. The sad and lost girl tries to configure the misfortune of her parents, which only causes some of her own heartache.

"I think I saw this coming, but it's still sucking, you know?"she refused to cry over the news her parents were splitting up.

But her feelings overpower her courage in the end when she learns her father will move thirty minutes away, and she will only stay with him every other weekend, and the occasional Sunday afternoon.

These unfortunate events opened my teenage eyes even more, as I felt my own self-doubt at the realization that Ahmad was no longer around. No longer are we there to buy us ice cream when our fragile feelings have been hurt by a high school rat, or a flakey parent, or a sly sibling with more active imagination. No longer will he drive me and Mac to the garage so often.

The thoughts of dramatic teenagers, hormones, I just wondered if I ever saw them again.

I was very melodramatic, and also very aware that my destruction was probably a little stronger than I was trying my hardest to believe in myself.

"We're going back to Singapore. We can't stay here anymore.”

That's what my dad said the day after I got home from summer school. A long day of advanced classes, try to get as much of the School done as quickly as possible, and then I go home to this unexpected bomb.

"Packaged, we will leave as soon as possible.”

Two years and Ahmad was so rare in my life, that he almost became irrelevant. But not completely. He seemed to linger in my mind. A calming thought that pokes through at random times. Happy memories of a man I admire, who reappears every time Mac mentions him.

I want to be around him. My feelings are always unexplainable, but still always present. I enjoy the way he talks to me, the way he makes me feel when I talk, like I get unwavering attention.

Getting compliments from him, now it's like winning the lottery.

Just easy crushing. That'sthat's all. I just keep telling myself that.

It worked, convincing myself that it was the most natural thing to destroy someone's father. Actually, he really is. I saw it too. Perhaps more often than not girls experience crushes on authoritative role models. Like a teacher or.

I let this knowledge entertain me for years, convincing me that there was a normal in my fascination with Ahmad. And don't see him almost ever help very much.

I can forget, at least for the most part.

After graduation I returned to Malaysia and lived alone, but now my father does not want me to live alone

Xxxxxxxx

I hadn’t seen that side of Mac since we were ten years old. The sad, lost girl trying to configure her parent’s misfortunes, which only caused some of her own heartache.

“I guess I saw this coming, but it still sucks, you know?” she refused to cry over the news of her parents split.

But her feelings beat her bravery in the end when she learned her dad would be moving thirty minutes away, and she’ only get to stay with him every other weekend, the occational week day evening.

This unfortunate turn of events opened my juvenile eyes even more, when I felt a pang of sore myself at the realization that Ahmad would no longer be around. No longer be there to buy us ice cream when our fragile feelings were hurt by middle school rates, or flakey parents, or a malicious brother with an over active imagination. No longer would he drive me and Mac to the garage so frequently.

My dramatic, hormonal, new teen mind wondered if I’d ever see him again.

I was very melodramatic, and also very, unnervingly aware that my crush might be a little stronger than I tried desperately to get myself myself to believe.

“We’re moving back to Singapore. We can’t stay here any longer.”

That’s what my dad said one day after I returned home from summer school. A long day of advanced classes, trying to get as much of school done as soon as possible, and then I get home to this unexpected bombshell.

“Pack up, we’re leaving as soon as we can.”

Two years and Ahmad was so sparse in my life, that he almost became irrelevant. But not completely. He looked to the finger deep on my mind. A soothing thought that poked through at random times. A blissful memory of a man I admired, which resurfaced when ever Mac mentioned him.

I wanted to be around him. My feelings were always inexplicable, but still always present. I enjoyed the way he spoke to me, the way he made me feel when I was speaking, like I got his undivided attention.

Getting a compliment from him, now that was like winning the lottery.

Just a simple crush. That’s all it is. I Just keep telling myself that.

It worked, convincing myself that it was the most natural thing to have a crush on someone’s dad. Actually, it really is. I even looked it up. More than not girls experience crashes on authoritative role models. Like teachers or. friend’s parents.

I let this knowledge comfort me through the years, assure me that there’s normalcy in my fascination with Ahmad. And not seeing him almost ever helped immensely.

I was able to forget, at least for the most part.

After my graduation I came back to Malaysia and live on my own. but now my dad wouldn't want me to live alone.