Love Raka Vol. 2

part 20's. The Heart of Devina

Pov Devina's

My heart was broken, when I heard Raka's words for the umpteenth time, He asked to end the relationship. Though all this time I've been trying to be the best for him, but what I get, he wants to end the relationship that we've been struggling to establish, I'm struggling to maintain. And if he wants me to change, then guide me, so that I can be in accordance with what he wants, not even leave a wound that slices the heart.

I turned off the phone connected to Raka, my body suddenly suffocated to the point of no longer being able to hold the weight that was on my shoulder, suddenly my body collapsed onto the mattress, and I was unable to bear the weight of the body,  tears began to flow down my cheeks, because only that thing was always present when I was treated unfairly, either from a spouse or a parent.

Why my life is always overwritten with sadness, why my life can not be loved by others, why I am always to blame when there is a fight in my family. why do I always get accused when Raka wants to end a relationship, even if she knows I love her very much, because Raka is the one who makes my life bright in the middle of the broken home darkness, what happened at my house.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, hoping that all the burdens that were testing me were blown away with a breath. I continued to cry out so much that I was letting out regrets and resentments that I did not understand what caused. am I destined to live a very miserable life or am I the one who was created to have misfortune.

"Try if there's Rita, maybe I can confide in her." I murmured inwardly.

The presence of a friend is very important in life, because in addition to being able to provide solutions they can also be an encouragement when we are down, they will continue to love us without seeing our ugliness. maybe someday if I meet a man, I should prefer to make him as a friend rather than a girlfriend, because a boyfriend will often hurt, compared to giving happiness.

The tring! trings! trings!

Suddenly my phone rang, leaving me aghast in shock.I quickly shifted the green button to pick it up.

"I don't want to break up with you Raka, I love you so much, Please don't leave me." I said After the phone was connected.

"Hey, hey....! what the hell lu Devina, Rita's cave...! Don't you see what contact number called you?" the refutation of a woman's voice made me slightly frown, immediately look at the mobile phone screen and it turns out it was Rita not Raka.

"Well, what's Rit?" I answered lazily when I found out that the person who called, was not the person I expected.

"It's okay, the cave just wants to know how you are now, and how have you been able to contact Raka or not?" rita asked who sounded worried.

"It's okay, I'm good. Raka can you call?"

"Good, how do you go?" ask my friend who sounds curious.

I did not answer that question that there is only a pleasure like being reminded of a new wound inscribed by a man I admire through his writings. I cried so much but my mouth I gagged using a pillow, so that the sound was not heard out of the room.

"Devina...! Devin....! you all right?" asked Rita who sounded worried after not getting an answer.

I still do not answer the words of my best friend.The good memories with Raka that we have been through make it more slicing hearts, hurting souls, destroying bodies. because now I realize that I will not be able to feel that happiness again, now only memories that scar.

"Have you not cried, Do not be sad. because there is still me here. yes already if you do not want to tell the story now, you just rest first.remember my message, yes already, our youth should not be destroyed by thinking of unimportant things, our youth should be enjoyed by freeing the mind. Congratulations bobo, Devina!" rita said while disconnecting her phone.

I took a deep breath, then raised my body and sat on the edge of the bed. I was silent for a long time doing nothing, only my mind was flying everywhere wondering What was going to happen, when I no longer coexist with Raka.

I lifted my head, then looked at the nightstand.My eyes stopped at one of the picture frames that displays my togetherness with my ex-boyfriend, my heart began to slice back, because my photo at that time boasted a wide smile, and my heart began to slice again, signifies I am very happy to be next to Raka.

I took the picture, and then I looked intently at the face of the man who always stopped in my heart, the face of the man who always made me smile at his funny behavior, made me feel free to express feelings, she said, it makes me feel like someone can take care of me. But all that is now gone, because Raka has clearly asked me to end the relationship..

I hold my photo with Raka to the chest, because only through the photo can I now hug my idol man. I didn't know that she would come back after leaving, my tears just soaked the pillow I was sleeping on.

My eyes stared at the ceiling of the room, imagining that my life was no longer anyone who would love me. My parents were busy with their respective work, Mom was busy working in the office, I was busy, You are busy with your business, so they do not realize that they have children as a result of their love.

Why would they bring me into this world, if only to be hurt, if only to be left alone, if only to be tormented. It is true that a parent does not intend to make a child, but rather it is a mistake of enjoyment that they forget.

"Well, maybe I was born into this world just to bear the burden of torture?" I murmured in my heart while raising my body and then tossed the photo that was in my hand.

Prak!

Glass fragments were scattered from the picture frame I threw, I was silent staring at the fragment for a long time, feeling hate for the person who was smiling in the photo, it was like laughing at my life that was always filled with hardship.

Long silent, finally Otaku began to walk again, until I raised the body from the edge of the bed, then walked to pick up the largest glass shale.

I sat back on the edge of my bed, staring blankly ahead, in my hand was a piece of glass that I had just picked up. My imagination began to fly up to reflect back on the sadness I was going through.

"Maybe it's true that I'm no longer needed in this world, I just became the scapegoat of the quarrel of my parents who did not have time.I just became a mistake for my relationship with Raka, I was the fault of my relationship with Raka, maybe I should go so that they can live happily, without me bothering." I murmured inwardly as I raised my left hand, looked at his wrist, so that I could see the veins moving slightly.

Awwwwws!

I scratched the arm using glass, hoping that my tone would break. But it turned out to be very painful, so I screamed a little louder.The sound of the roar of footsteps that climbed the stairs made me feel worried, then stared at the slightly scratched arm, since the end of the glass was not as sharp as the tip of the knife, so the scratch only caused a small wound to bleed slightly. Only his skin was injured not until it penetrated into the flesh.

The truck! the truck! the truck!

With the sound of the door being knocked on, I immediately threw a piece of glass and hid my arm in the blanket.

"Push me sir, afraid there's nothing." asked a woman's voice.

Chequek!

The door opened, and my parents entered, and they both ran to me, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Why baby, why are you?" mother asked as she sat beside me and then she hugged me so tightly, a hug I had long craved.

"I'm okay Mom, just surprised because suddenly the photo fell," I replied while pointing at the picture frame in the corner of the room.

"Oh kirain what's going on, I was very surprised. Yes already then you continue to work again yes," said the father while turning the body and then he came down to make me very disappointed with his treatment that does not care about the whereabouts of his son.

"Why are you crying, you have a problem with Raka?" ask mom while looking at my face that looks puffy.

"No, no. I don't have a problem, Mom, I'm really just surprised."

"If you have a problem, you can tell me about it, Mother, don't be held alone."

"Do you have time for me?"

"Always there for you, I love you very much. Sorry if all this time mom is always busy working.but if the problem is dear it should not be asked again, because you are the baby of mother."

"Seriously?" I ask glazed.

"Seriously, Mom lied to my daughter" she replied, hugging my body so tightly, but still hiding my left hand that still hurt. but I pretended to hide it because I didn't want you to know.

"Well, a hug is not restless" said the voice of a man standing in the doorway.

"This is Sir if you want to join, we have not had time for our most beautiful child" said Mother while stretching her hands to invite the Father to embrace.

Instantly I glanced at the voice of the Father, wondering why he had left me, but now he came back with ART house carrying a broom and shovel.

"This is what you need to clean, sir?" ask the aunt.

"Yes Bi, Devina's gonna get hurt. Please clean it thoroughly!" Pinta pak while walking closer to us, Then the Father joined hugging me so that I feel guilty, because it turns out my parents love me so much as sincerely, they embrace me full of warmth.

"It's done sir!" Said the housekeeper who finished his work.

"Yes thank you Bi. You go to bed later you are late for school. Oh yeah, next week we go for a walk....!" take the father while releasing his embrace.

"Seriously sir?" I ask glazed.

"Seriously, have you ever lied to me."

"Often...!" answer me with Ketus

"For this time you won't lie. Yes, you are sleeping! come mom...!" take the father while pulling the mother's hand out of my room.

As soon as they immediately I saw my left hand that felt sore, it turned out that the hand looked reddened by a glass scratch, immediately I took the wound medicine to stop the blood coming out. Luckily the wound was not deep so it did not have to do more treatment.