Love Comes Because of the Unaccustomed

Nemenin Queen's

After saying that Hafiz left me alone in my silence, again I was like a lifeless statue. Not feeling the details of the gems flowing from my eyes, I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know for what this cry is that I must be sad to hear his statement. Why should he come to me now, after someone else has asked me why not first. It turned out that all this time my love for her had not clapped one hand. But it's too late, I'm engaged and in a matter of months I'll have a wedding reception.

Hafiz was my senior when I was in college, I knew him when I took part in Rohis activities on campus, he was the chairperson of Rohis. at that time I had a task from my lecturer to make a paper about the activities of Rohis children. From there I knew him, his chic, friendly nature and polite manner of conduct made me take heart in him secretly. And recently I found out that his house is not far from where I live and his father is my teacher

After I finished my studies, I was asked by his father to serve in the madrassa he led. I immediately accepted it because my ambition from the past was to become a teacher, it turns out that Hafiz also taught in the madrassa. These seeds of love are growing more fertile especially every day I always meet him. But a year ago he went to the neighboring country to continue S2, his departure made me feel lost. He left without a message from that moment I felt that my love would never be a reality

The quiet atmosphere of the class seemed to be a silent witness, only the benches and chairs neatly lined up to become friends. All the students are gone, all the teachers have gone home to gather with their children and wives. Staying alone in the room, I felt very reluctant to go home. This leg feels powerless to stand, this soul feels not eager to spend the day.

The voice of Adhan reverberated so beautifully from the surau beside the madrasah. I woke up from my daydream, it didn't feel like I'd been sitting alone for almost an hour . I also left the room and rushed to Surau to carry out my duty as a Muslim to do fardhu prayers. Surau looks lonely there are no female pilgrims besides me. I still had time to congregate even though only as a masbuk jama'ah.

After this heart prayer as if peace, the sadness in the heart began to disappear, the feeling that raged in the heart began to disappear.Want it feels like I am sitting together and in half with my Lord, I want to stir up all my restless and troubled things to Him, even though without my love Allah knows everything, only to Allah is the place where I complain, where I moan,only DIA is the best place. I lift up my hand and put my face in front of Him. Out of my mouth came a fine temple - a beautiful prayer.

Yes Rabb..

Now I am laying down before You

In your beautiful and peaceful home

The sinful servant

A servant who has a passion

Servant who disobeys You too often

A servant who rarely remembers You

Forgive all the sins of the servant

O Allah..

You know that my heart is restless

Because of this restlessness you also create

It is easy for You to turn the heart of the servant

Give peace and quiet in the heart of the servant

Relax my heart

Give me a little coolness in my soul so I can think clearly, and not drag on following my feelings

Yes Rabbul Izati

Teach me to be an adult, not just an adult in thinking. Also mature in acting and speaking.

Adults in dealing with every problem

And adult in life

Yes Divine..

You know that in my heart his name is still kept

Remove his name from my heart

Don't let the name of him reign in my heart

I don't want to constantly break my heart

by thinking of someone who is nobody to me.

O Allah..

Now I have all given to You

For in your hands all is beautiful

My life and death I leave only You

"(i.e.,) those who believe and their hearts are at peace with the remembrance of Allah, remember only that by the remembrance of Allah the heart is at peace." (QS ar-Ra'd: 28)

The yellow janur that was set in front of my house waved in the wind, chairs and tables that were designed so beautifully lined up neatly, not to be left with a guaranteed chair that was designed like the throne of the queen and king. So good is my wedding. Very contrary to my wishes. This is not the wedding I expected. Why spend a lot of money just to make a wedding reception. Too bad in my opinion. But I can not do anything all has been designed by the parents of my future husband even though my oom and tant had previously expressed his words about it.