Last Prayer

Operation Room Hallway

"Good day, ma'am"

"Yes, doctor?"

When I was busy feeding Aris. The doctor who treated Aris, came. I set aside the plate I was holding onto the nightstand next to the bed where Aris was lying. I, who was sitting on the chair, greeted Aris, hurriedly stood up and pulled the chair to a corner near the nightstand.

"Ehh. It's okay, mom. Continue eating it! What about, Aris boy? Eating ravenously? Must be greedy dong yes, will want to heal, so must eat a lot and want to take the medicine."

Aris smiled at the greeting of doctor Iksan. Doctor Iksan was very kind and friendly. Aris was not at all afraid of being examined by him. He always laughed when Iksan's doctor came and examined him, who told him occasionally.

"Alright, Wulan's mother. Here I brought you the results of an Aris thorax X-ray. It is clear that Aris's ribs were broken. His body temperature always goes up. Also strong my guess, Aris's lungs are slightly depressed and punctured. That's why, whatever Aris does to cause motion, will make him feel tremendous pain, even to the point of difficulty breathing. Aris is a strong child, he is able to survive" said Iksan's doctor pointed to a photo of Aris X-ray that he held.

Iksan's doctor's exposure brought me back to tears. Just imagining it, I felt pain, let alone Aris who felt it. My breath seemed to stop, it was very difficult to breathe air with sobbing cries that were held back.

"But, doc. Aris can heal, right, doc?"

"It can, mom. All possibilities will happen. Healing included! Starting at 12pm tonight, Aris has started fasting yes, ma'am. We'll have the operation done at 6 a.m. Sister who is familiar with me, will later come here to pick up and prepare all for the operation."

"Good, doc."

"OKAY. That's all I want to say. Pain relief and infection prevention drugs continue to be taken yes, ma'am. Manyin drink water to fit the fast before the operation later, Aris does not limp."

"Yes, doc. Thanks."

I'm reviewing the smile. Doctor Iksan returned a smile, nodding as he left the room. I turned my gaze to Aris who was getting sleepy. My chest still feels full. It's so claustrophobic. Imagining every breath, would hurt him terribly.

"Navis ... Don't sleep yet. Awake, son. Take the medicine first. Aris ..." I said trying to wake Aris by rubbing her forehead and head.

It's not hard to get Aris to take her medications. He is a smart kid.

*****

"Allahuacabar ... Allahuakbar .." I looked at the dawn wake me up.

I stepped up to celebrate and perform dawn prayers. This time, it felt very different from the previous dawns. Worth it, because after this Aris will be in surgery soon. My prayers are getting less solemn, while imagining Aris's face whimpering. I fell on a dull prayer mat that I brought not far to the mosque in this hospital to perform prayers. My cry sobbed, with a stifled voice.

"Mi ... Umi ..." Aris' voice called out to me and jolted me quickly and violently filled my tears.

"Y-yes, kid. Umi's here."

"Umi out of prayer?"

"Not yet, just about to start praying. Aris why?"

"I want to drink, thirsty, umi."

"Kan Umi last night had spoken to Aris, if Aris had to fast first for 6 hours. Not eating, not drinking. In order for Aris to recover quickly, continue to be able to go home, gather again the same abi and umi at home. Aris wants to heal, right?"

I tried to talk by holding back my tears. Restrain him from spilling in front of Aris. A child as small as Aris, must endure thirst in times of pain like this. His face was so clear, as if hoping for a mouthful of water to drain his thirst.

Oh Allah ... Why does Aris make me even more unable to control these tears? Spilled my tears, broke, and cried.

"Umi why cry? I'm not papa, umi. I don't drink, either, papa. Umi don't cry. Huhuhuhu."

Aris who saw me crying, immediately joined in crying. I rush to wipe my cheeks that have been wet with tears.

"No. Umi is not crying. Umi's eyes hurt again, so his tears often come out. What is the cry? Can't cry. Aris is a strong boy. Boys can't cry."

"Yes, umi. I'm sleepy, mi. I can't, mi, sleep again?"

"Yes, I can do it, son. Yes, Aris is sleeping. Umi wants to pray first."

I kissed her hot forehead. Aris' body has always had a fever since she fell and caused her to have surgery. I looked at the smile before his eyes, so that he would fall asleep with a calm feeling.

Aris is asleep now. I also rushed to perform my prayers which had been delayed.

Worried moments came. Aris is wearing a special suit for surgery. I see Aris is very excited. He smiled a lot at everything he saw. In the hallway when heading to the operating room Aris started a chat.

"Suster, sister has a little prayer mat?"

"Not got, deck. It's a big one, because the sisters don't have children yet. Why why?"

"No papa, sister. I'm just happy, soon I'll recover, and I want to be taken to the store to buy a small prayer mat of the same umi."

"Wahhhh, yummy dong. It's happy! Spirit yes, let Aris recover quickly!"

Aris laughing. His laughter made this heart feel calm. Aris is a strong boy. He is able to survive his present condition. I don't want to cry in front of him anymore, which makes his spirit become broken and extinct.

"Umi's. Don't buy it first, mi. I want to choose what I like. There's a lot of it, right, the little prayer mat I want? Can you, mi, I choose for myself?"

"Yes, kid. Be able. Lots of nice little prayer. There Aris will be able to choose whichever Aris wants. Now, Aris prays first yes, let it be given ease and smoothness for its operation as God."

I told Aris to pray when he arrived at the door of the operation. It was so hard to let him into that creepy room. I was just allowed to wait in front of the room. I sat this body in a chair lined up on the edge of the hall against the wall. My feelings are not out of whack. My face is so angry. Bad thoughts always try to force you to stop. My heart rages. I can't hold my tears anymore. Spilled it all wet my cheeks.

'Arise ... You must be strong, boy! You need to heal, baby. Umi needs you, son. Umi needs you to live this life. Steady, boy!'

'Yes Allah ... Allow yourself to take care of your care even longer. He's all I have besides my husband, God. Give smoothness and healing to Aris. I beg you, Allah ...'

I fell to tears on the floor of the front hallway of the operating room. My body immediately suffocated, my vision began to blur and darken.

'Cannot. I have to be strong. This strong sense that will give positive energy to Aris. I'm sure Aris can survive. Aris was able to get through this.'

Time doesn't seem to turn. I saw the clock on the wall above the elevator door. I've only been waiting for 10 minutes, but I've been sitting in this hallway for hours. Every now and then I see a light above the operating room door, which I wish had turned green. But the lights are still red. Which means, the operation is still ongoing.

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