Ivanya Basudewi (The Shackle of Life)

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Slowly, Bagas walked towards Vanya with slightly unsteady steps. His heart rumbled with his eyes very quickly. The glimmers of bad memories he had done in the past, instantly reflected in his mind.

Bagas tried to imagine the wonderful memories he had with Vanya. Unfortunately, he did not succeed. As hard as he tried, those good memories were lost to the bad memories he had done to Vanya.

Seeing Vanya who grew into a beautiful and graceful girl, made Bagas guilty feelings for Vanya become even bigger.

Bagas did not know, how Vanya lived his life all this time. Bagas really became a very irresponsible father. Bagas was a sinful father to his daughter.

Although Bagas knew that Vanya was nearby, Bagas chose to ignore it, Bagas chose to ignore it. Bagas has become a father who is filled with sin because he cannot distribute his daughter very well.

All because Bagas too believe in Ayu, Bagas too consumed sweet words that are always said by Ayu. Bagas believed too much in the word of love that Ayu always expressed.

Bagas had really been a very stupid man all along. Bagas trusted others so much that he ignored his daughter, his own flesh and blood. Even to hurt his daughter, whether physically or mentally.

Bagas remembered very well, how he cursed Vanya, how he hit Vanya with his own hand. Bagas remembered everything, his treatment was really reflected very clearly in his mind.

Truly, Bagas felt very sorry for having done all that to his own flesh and blood.

Bagas wanted to feel like meeting Vanya for one time, he wanted to apologize to Vanya for all the bad treatment he had done. But unfortunately, he was too cowardly, he was too scared, he was too embarrassed.

Even just to monitor the development of Vanya's life, Bagas was too afraid to do so.

Bagas did not expect, that Vanya still wanted to set foot in this house. Bagas did not expect that Vanya would still come to see him.

Bagas should have met his daughter, not even his daughter who met him. Again, Bagas felt he had become a really lousy father.

"I'm sorry papah.."

Bagas sat down in front of Vanya within 1 meter, his head lowered deeply. He was too embarrassed to show his sinful face to Vanya. Really, Bagas really felt very embarrassed.

This only made Haidar and bi Asih feel very surprised. They did not expect that Bagas would do that.

No exception Vanya, he also felt surprised to see Bagas who was sitting in such a row. But that way, Vanya now knows that Bagas doesn't really hate him.

Indeed, Vanya had also realized that Bagas was being bad to her after marrying Ayu.

Vanya of course felt angry, she also felt disappointed. He was angry at Bagas because Bagas loved Ayu too much, he was disappointed in Bagas because Bagas was too consumed by the cradle given by Ayu.

Vanya understood, Bagas needs a companion in his life. But, why did Bagas have to get too absorbed in what Ayu gave him? Vanya was really disappointed in that.

Vanya is really disappointed that Bagas reneged on all the promises he made to Vanya. The promise to always love Vanya, the promise to always be beside Vanya, the promise to always be the person Vanya can rely on the most. Bagas completely denied everything, and it was all because of Ayu.

However, Vanya does not hate Bagas. How could Vanya hate her own biological father. Vanya actually felt homesick for Bagas. Yes, all this time Vanya secretly misses the man who is her birth father.

But Vanya held back that desire. Not without reason, Vanya keeps his desire tight because Vanya still feels angry and disappointed. Not only because of anger and disappointment, but also because of fear.

Vanya was really afraid that her emotions would be re-shaken if she really met Bagas. Really, Vanya still wants to keep her sanity.

That was why Vanya delayed the time to meet Bagas when Haidar invited him to meet Bagas.

Bi Asih who felt that he could not bear to step closer to Bagas, but his intention was to undo the tat when Vanya moved from his seat.

Slowly, Vanya stepped closer to Bagas. Tears had accumulated in his eyes, even making his eyes blur. His heart had not stopped beating so fast.

Vanya stopped her steps in front of Bagas, the girl dropped her knees on the floor, right in front of Bagas who was still humming his head.

His trembling hand was raised to touch Bagas' shoulder.

"Mom.." Lirih.

It just makes Bagas cry bitterly.

"Sorry papah Va.. For God's sake, papah's sorry.. Papah really-gener nyesel because he's been bad with you, papah nyesel because already nyia-nyiain papah's only daughter. Papah coward Va, papah ga dare to find you. Papah is too embarrassed to show Papah's face to you. I don't know how to apologize to you. Papahs.."

Bagas was silent, he was surprised when Vanya suddenly just hugged him. His heart really hurt. Even after all the ill-treatment he had done to his daughter, his daughter was still willing to come into contact with him.

For some time, again and again, Bagas really felt like a failed father.

"Sorry papah Va.. Excuse me.. Papah is really sorry.. Papah wrong.. Papah's sorry.."

"Enough reward.. I don't need to apologize, papah ain't wrong.. Papah that time was just khilaf, right? So I don't have to apologize anymore. Vanya's heart hurts from seeing papah like gini.."

Vanya clenched Bagas skinny body very tightly. For God's sake, Vanya's heart really hurt to see the condition of Bagas so unkempt.

Has his father never eaten properly? Has his father never taken his vitamins well again? Where did all the muscles he had go? Why is his body so thin like this?

Be ill.. Really, Vanya's heart really hurt..

...-TBC-C...

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