I'm with you, Mr. Teacher
Growing Distance in Distance
Today Jati deliberately left early. In fact, he arrived at the road, where he always waited for Sandana, when the bias of the morning sunlight was not perfect to race Semarang City. Jati already did not expect to be able to leave together. He just wanted to see Cendana passing with his car. That'sthat's all. Although it did not reduce the restless pile on his chest, it might even worsen, Jati still wanted to do it. He just obeyed the heart.
A while later, the sky blue sedan Cendana appeared in the distance, breezing freely on the streets that were still quiet. His speed increased as he got closer, until it seemed only a glimpse when passing in front of Jati. The speed of the car seemed to confirm, that the anger of the driver had not subsided at all. This made Jati look down solemnly then. His gaze seemed to pierce through the deepest layer of the pavement where he stood. Ignored turns out to be this sick.
New sandalwood reduces the speed of his car after Jati is completely invisible behind there. Not understanding what he had just done, made his tears just melt. Previously, Sandalwood had never driven a car as fast as before. His right foot seemed to be working out of the brain's command, pressing deeper into the accelerator when he suddenly saw Teak standing on the pavement.
Although not completely sincere, Cendana never really blame Jati. However, to be able to be like before, somehow it feels very difficult.
***
Jaka understood, he should not take Jati to Cakka's tomb without permission first with the family of the deceased. But if he permits the same sandalwood, certainly not allowed. It's just a pilgrimage anyway. Jaka is sure nothing will happen, even though in the end Cendana knows.
So this is where Jati, resting in front of Cakka's tomb. After sowing flowers and sending prayers, Jati's right hand moved to feel the tombstone, staring fixed Cakka's full name scratched there. The deeper gaze was then slightly wet, then followed by a slow shaken back movement.
"I'm sorry!" lirih Jati, which is almost like a bad luck of the wind. Jaka didn't hear it very well either.
"I'm sorry!" I don't know how many times Jati whispered her apology before leaving. Miraculously, after completely leaving the cemetery, Jati felt the guilt in her was no longer as close as before. Is that a sign Cakka is accepting her apology from nature? Or never to blame him?
Wallahu A'lam's.
Hopefully the remaining blobs can soon disappear, if Cendana deigns to reopen the door of friendship someday.
***
With Jaka, Jati so understand, that there is no age limit, especially position, for someone to be a friend. Until this moment, Jati found that Jaka was no longer a student who suddenly forced himself to become an expert in love with all kinds of solutions that sometimes fuss, but really someone who can be a listener, he said, lara scraper when someone is hit by turmoil.
From the tomb of Cakka, Jati invites Jaka to a place to calm down. Bu Fatimah orphanage is a place as comfortable as a place for Teak. Here, Jati again finds the unique side of the geeky-looking guy. He is very good at taking the hearts of dozens of children here, with different ages and characters. With the typical carefree behavior of people who have abundant pede stock, Jaka invites the children to get acquainted. After feeling successful in taking their attention, the introduction continued with guesswork that not only succeeded in making the children, but also Ms. Fatimah, fall apart. In fact, Alif, who is usually always sticky with Teak, now enjoys guessing Jaka. But he doesn't necessarily understand. What matters is that he laughs.
Teak and Fatimah split off to the back porch. Although they both laughed at Jaka, Fatimah still managed to find a radiance of sadness in the gaze of Teak. So he asked her to speak with four eyes.
"What's wrong with you, son?"
Teak did not answer immediately. He seemed to be wondering what he was going to say. His seat leaned forward, supporting the weight of his mind with both elbows resting on the thighs.
If only not Fatimah, Jati could immediately shake her head with a smile. But this shady-eyed woman beside him was already like her own mother. Teak could not hide the anxiety of his heart.
"Sendana already knows, Ma'am," jirih Jati later.
"Goodoo. Isn't that what you wanted to do?"
"Yes. But ... Now Sandalwood stay away, ma'am."
"Son, look at Mom." Fatimah grabbed the chin of the Teak, raised her bow, saving the young man's heart from getting sucked deeper.
"You did what you should have done. In the end, Sandalwood must know, you are behind the heartbreaking events. In this way you have also sought healing for yourself."
Teak nodded faintly.
"Cendana's not a kid anymore. He must have a reason behind every action. Perhaps at this time he is still struggling with many sides of his thinking. Give him time. And whatever the decision, even if it's bad for you, it might be the best one by his side."
"You love her?" The unexpected question made Jati gasp, then misbehave. He gave a look after pretending to fix the position of his watch.
Fatimah again grabbed Jati's chin, bringing their gazes together. "Jonest with Mom."
"Nr ...."
"You won't tell this story if in your heart there's no special feeling for that girl."
The warm and sincere gaze of Fatimah made Jati have no reason to dodge.
"Yes. I love her so much, Mom!" I was accompanied by a nod later.
Fatimah smiled at the confession that she had believed in since the first day Jati suddenly told her about her meeting with the girl, before she finally introduced her.
"She's a good girl. Mom can feel it. I hope he didn't make the wrong decision."
"Thank you, Mom!"
Fatimah smiled again, a simple smile that always managed to make Jati feel better.
***
Three weeks had passed since Sandalwood had manifestly spread the distance, cultivating agitation in every second that rolled on the Teak side. This tenth day Jati felt no need to wait for Sandalwood on the road, at a point that used to always bring together a small wave of longing after both faintly beating in the silence of the night. Not tired, but Jati must know herself. Sandalwood blocked his number, as well as all of his social media. It made Jati realize, that the distance the girl wanted was not enough. He really no longer needed a link in any form. Waiting for his car to pass at high speed every morning, just as Teak does not fully provide the space or time requested by Cendana indirectly.
The heart of teak is so painful. Because previously, he could still follow the activities of Sandalwood through his posts on Instagram. Now only sincerely, the only thing he could do to ease the restless rumbling, also the longing ripples on the walls of his heart.
Although the hope of being like before never faded in the slightest, now Jati chose to behave normally, pretending to recover and feeling there was nothing more to fight for. Quietly while preparing the heart, if it must be so. The meeting in the classroom as teacher and disciple, the only ones left, which both absolutely could not avoid. Hopefully Jati can still be professional and fulfill his obligations as best as possible.
***
God never leaves His people. In the midst of problems and the worst possibility that continues to haunt, Cendana actually found what had been lost in the middle of her family. Now Papa-Mama is more often seen at home, also never miss breakfast and dinner together. This makes Sandalwood grateful, for a moment forget the strange problems they are facing.
Sandalwood does not know as drastic what changes his life if his family really fell poor, but if in the moment it can be as warm as this continues, it does not seem to be too worried. Maybe Sandalwood was happier.
Although Papa always looks optimistic in front of Sandalwood, but Sandalwood can always catch the anxiety bias in his forced smile, or gaze that sometimes lost focus. Now Papa's position is like a ship captain who is known to have a leak. Sandalwood can imagine what the burden would be like.
In the midst of all kinds of ways that he continues to strive, but has not also shown a bright spot, now Hajir is more often at home. In this crucial situation he realized just how important a family is. His confusion diminishes every time he has the support of his wife and son.
***
It's past midnight. Surprisingly, Sandalwood has not been sleepy in the least. Instead of trying to get to sleep, he moved to Cakka's room. In the room crowded with musical ornaments, he lay on the bed after tired of menekuni shabby paper Cakka relics, as well as future draft paper given Teak. I don't know what he wants on both papers that don't know anything about it. Maybe the answer to a question that he himself does not know who to ask.
After a few weeks, Cendana had no reason to blame Jati. Not one bit. From the beginning it was actually so. But until this moment his condition was still the same, his heart still refused to get as close as before. Another fact that Sandalwood did not like, it turns out he was not willing to stop waiting for him every morning. There was the most absurd sense of loss when he did not find that apologetic face in his morning. Unbeknownst to the owner, he observed from behind the dark glass of the car. Is the man starting to give up? Has he decided to take the same step away? Please, don't get it that way. Sandalwood fear!
***
