I'm with you, Mr. Teacher

Stories About Loss

Fatimah's left hand immediately stroked the head of Sandalwood as long as the girl kissed her hand. Sandalwood felt the warmth spread to the heart, the thing that made him immediately like the loving-faced woman in front of him.

"Come, yuk!" invite Fatimah while embracing the waist of Sandalwood.

Happy to see that sight.

Upon arrival in the middle room, Cendana was treated to a view of many children aged three to eleven years who were busy with their respective activities.

"Kids, look who's coming" said Fatimah.

"Sir Teak ...!" call the children in unison when turning their heads and immediately treated to a friendly smile by Jati.

They immediately scattered, scrambling the same page of Teak. Sandalwood deliberately shifted a few steps, giving the children space to get closer to Teak. Seeing the way Jati treats children who seem to like it very much, again Sandalwood is not able to dampen the strange vibrations in her heart.

"Kids, now go back to playing or learning again, yes. Mommy wants to talk first with Kak Jati," asked Fatimah after making sure the children were part of the same page.

No need to wait for their Mother to tell them twice, the children immediately returned to their original place regularly. Except for a three-year-old boy who was still whining to be carried by Teak. Name's Alif. He is the one who likes to be spoiled whenever Jati visits.

Teak deliberately showed off a funny expression to comfort the child. Teak immediately raised it when the boy had already spread his hands impatiently. He laughed happily as Jati's fingers played nosily tickling her waist. At first glance, their interactions are like father and son. Again make Sandalwood .. ah, that's it!

"We talked on the back porch, yeah." Fatimah interrupts the excitement of Jati to explore Alif. "Son, come on!"

Cendana immediately welcomed a helping hand of Fatimah who intended to hold her. For some reason, Cendana felt this place was overflowing with affection, very lame with the atmosphere in his house.

Upon arrival on the back porch, they sat on a long sofa overlooking the garden. Teak holds me Alif.

"Why lately Nak Jati started to rarely play here?" Fatimah started the conversation.

"I'm, right, starting to teach, Mom, so his free time is starting to be limited." Jati answered while poking Alif's cheeks.

Fatimah manggu-manggut. "How does it feel to be a teacher? You got a problem?" tanyanya.

"Alhamdulillah, so far smoothly, ma'am."

"Alhamdulillah! Your father must be proud of you." Fatimah patted Jati's shoulder slowly.

Teak stuffed. His eyeballs always warm up whenever anyone brings up anything about his late father.

"Sorry, Mother."

Fatimah stopped patting Jati's shoulder as the voice interjected. He looked at the source of the voice. The white-hooded young girl who was just standing in the doorway, now stepped slowly closer before returning to talk.

"Donature who visited here yesterday called, want to talk to Mother." The thin-faced girl spoke while bowing respectfully.

"Jati, Sandalwood, Mommy stay first, yes. The person wants to donate the latest textbooks to the children. Maybe he just wanted to ascertain the number and age of the children here."

"Alhamdulillah." Teak smiled happily.

Fatimah and the girl went inside, leaving behind Teak and Sandalwood, and Alif who even wrapped his hands around the neck of Teak when Fatimah intended to take it.

"Mister why didn't you say you wanted to come here? If you know you want to come here, we, right, can buy souvenirs first for them." After feeling the warm welcome of Ms. Fatimah, Cendana felt bad coming empty-handed.

"We want to look at it, they are very happy, really," responded Jati as she squinted her head to serve the game Alif who tried to squeeze his nose.

"Mother comes here often?"

"Lumayan."

"Honestly, I was envious to see your closeness to the children. Wanted, deh, I'm that close to them."

"Could, really. They're good kids, depending on how we treat them."

Sandalwood smiled bitterly. Memories of Cakka flashed again.

"Alif want to meet with Brother Cendana?" ask Jati to the boy who is still struggling to reach his nose.

Alif stopped his action, briefly turned towards Sandalwood, then nodded.

Alif nodded back.

Sandalwood immediately took the boy to his lap. Different when the same Teak, in the lap of Cendana, Alif calm-quiet, very obvious still shy.

"This place has always asserted, that how absolute a loss in one's life."

Sandalwood turned his head, when suddenly the intonation of Teak voice was somewhat different.

"The loss that you feel for the departure of Cakka, was felt by them when they lost their parents, siblings, or anyone closest to them who now only lives a name or just a fictitious story from their caregivers. I understand, Cakka's departure is indeed very tragic. But when they are deliberately left in the crowd, or in a used cardboard when they do not know anything, it is no less tragic." Teak deliberately did some emphasis, intending to penetrate the receiving side of Sandalwood.

Unknowingly, Cendana clasped Alif's hand tighter. Something churned in his chest.

"But look at the children, do they show sad faces? There was even an excited smile to challenge tomorrow. Grieving for loss, it's natural. But do not be protracted, especially to blame yourself for something that has become His provisions." In this section Jati is not sure Cendana can accept his words. Because he himself, until now still harbors a guilt that has not been successfully extinguished completely.

Momentary silence. Cendana pretended to be busy playing with Alif on her lap, but her mind scattered in all directions.

"First time knowing the real loss, when Mom chose to leave us to pursue her happiness." Teak is back to sound. This time his head was stuck to the wall, his gaze blankly glared.

Cendana. Although from the side, the sadness was clearly visible through the pores of the face of Teak.

"Mother went with another man, who was thought to be able to give her nothing she could not get from a teacher like Dad." Jati tried to clear her voice, even though her throat was sore.

"Leaving her husband and children for happiness? What happiness again? Is not family a source of happiness?" Sandalwood shakes not out of thought. Then he remembered his own family. Can you call it the source of happiness?

"Everyone has a standard of happiness. And according to Mother, we were no longer her happiness at that time." Jati smiled wryly as she turned her head, trying to disguise her sad expression in Sandana's eyes.

"Don't you ever see him again?"

Teak shakes. "It doesn't feel necessary. But that doesn't mean I have a grudge. For at any time, she is still the woman who risked her life to give birth to me." Jati took a long breath. "Just prove to him that I'm fine without him."

Hand Sandalwood moved *** Teak arm plan. I don't know what that means. Which is definitely not strengthening, because he himself is no less fragile. He just didn't want the sadness of paralyzing the guy next to him. Because if that happens, who else will comfort him?

***

This morning, Jati frowned seeing the sky blue sedan parked at the point she usually waited for Sandalwood. Not wanting to be too dizzy, Jati stopped her bike a few meters from the car. He glanced at the watch in his hand, then turned to the end of the road. Sandalwood is not yet visible.

"Good morning, sir," said someone from behind.

Being very familiar with the voice, Teak gasped. His gaze instantly switched from the end of the road to the pair of beads of the girl's eyes.

"So, is that your car?"

Sandalwood nodded shyly.

"Then, what wind suddenly left his bike?" seloroh Jati accompanied by mild stiffness.

"Maybe this time. Inside there are used clothes Cakka, also some of mine. Instead of making sure the closet is not clear, I want to give to the orphanage child. Can, right?"

"Oh, of course you can," responded Teak so enthusiastically.

"Will you accompany me to the parlour after school?"

"By pleasure." Teak placed his right hand on his left shoulder while slightly bowing, like a royal servant who was ready to carry out his master's decree.

Sandalwood made wide.

Teak was also happy, seeing the radiance of Sandalwood eyes has never been as bright as this morning. Whatever had been enveloping him, it seemed to slowly begin to unfold.

Last night, Bibi asked in surprise when Cendana suddenly unpacked the contents of Cakka's closet. In fact, all this time he strictly forbade anyone to change the order of the items in the room. He wanted his position to remain the same when Cakka left him, so that the child's distinctive features were not erased from there. Bibi was very happy when Cendana explained where the clothes were going. According to Auntie, this is the beginning of true acceptance.

Jati pedals his bike vigorously behind the sandalwood car that is traveling at medium speed. Sometimes Cendana deliberately slow down the speed of his car, so that Jati is not too distant with him, so that he can still observe it through the rearview mirror.

Lord .. Thank you for bringing it into my life.

***