Heart Fragment
That girl Nayla
Pov Devan
I was staring at the prayer mat. It felt, the turmoil in the heart was echoing more and more. Why, for matters of the heart alone feels complicated like this.
On one side was Nayla, the girl who had helped me to heal from the wounds. The girl who was able to make my heart flutter again every time she looked at him. The girl who made me crazy, even made me so reckless to her.
But, she's a comfort girl. She's definitely not a good girl. Even blatantly admitted that he had a sexually transmitted disease. I don't want my future ruined. Nor do I want my children to be born from the womb of comfort women. He, too, is not clear of his origin. Bebet seedlings and their weight is not qualified.
On the other side is Aisha. Girls who used to meet at the study. He always kept his eyes. That's why we never looked at each other for long. She's a cute girl again sholehah. Cheeky like my old girl, Raniku. I never thought he would choose me. Because to me, that girl has too much knowledge above me. He is known to actively fill the study of mothers. It was like a dream, when his own father offered me.
He's a beautiful son of ustadz. His parents were very good at religion. She is also a learned girl. Of course, it brings its own pride when later paired with him later.
Once again I bowed. I humbled myself lowly before God.
Human vision is limited. He knows better his servant. It could be that what I think is good is not. What I saw was not good, but God wanted it.
Me, really weak. My future is only in His hands. He knows more about heart problems. Let him give you a clue. What steps should I choose later.
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"Mah," called me while we were in the living room. Watching television together. A house this big would feel lonely if only the two of us were occupying.
"Dad, why?" He asked while looking at me. I, really can't if I have to unmask my code with Nayla all this time in front of her.
"No papa" I said at last.
"Why, you're so smart, what's wrong?" Ask again. It was like he saw my anxiety.
I'm approaching mama. Putting his head on his lap. I don't want my old woman to get hurt.
"Mas Rahman is here?" My toot. That's not what I want to say.
"Inshaa Allah, next Friday departs from Surabaya," said mamah.
"Why? Rani again?" guess mama later.
"No," shanku.
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Ustadz Azzam's advice is still rife. In any case, always involve God. Including in making decisions. Especially the big decisions related to choosing a mate.
That's why for three days I routinely beristikharah. Ask for directions directly from him. But even to this day, I have not received his answer.
I didn't call Nayla, nor did I look at Aisyah's photo. I want to focus on hearing His answer. Without involving the heart, because I'm sure, His answer is never wrong.
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The sky is blue. Decorate the clouds in the wind, until it looks like a flock of sheep.
I'mawakened. Stretch both hands to the left and right side. My back hurts, because it has long been lying on a green expanse of grass.
From where I looked, the mountains looked high. It is a beautiful sight in this place. The great God is with all His creation.
Dry throat. Thirst feels very bad. I looked around, there was a source of water flowing not far from where I was sitting right now.
I stood up, walked up my legs. I squinted, when I found there was a girl sitting pensively on the black rocks near the spring. Green color hooded moss with matching gamis.
He smiled, giving me a vessel filled with water. Just when I was thirsty like this. Both of his eyeballs were sparkling, looking so clear with his clean white face.
I accepted his gift. Then he stood up and left. A moment before, he looked at me. At that moment, it was as if there was an embedded feeling of peace. He then ran from before me, with a smile still left in the shadows.
"Allahu Akbar ... Allahu Akbar." The sound of takbir roaring. The goal of the sound is getting closer. My legs shook, my vision blurred, everything suddenly darkened.
"Allahu Akbar ... Allah Akbar!"
I opened my eyes slowly. Narrowing his own forehead. It feels so dizzy. I saw the clock on the wall. It's four in the morning. Adhan is also almost finished.
My eyes wide. I found that answer! The girl who gave me the vessel earlier, she...
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I walk straight. Keep your feet up straight. Meet Ustadz Azzam at home. Sunday is the time for friendship, as well as discussing the matchmaking yesterday. Three days of time given. And I came today, to give him an answer.
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Why, there are petty people like you. Fear of happiness itself. Ck, basic!
Three days without meeting. It feels like there is a feeling I don't know. He, looks tangled and messy. Back there is a feeling of pain that whack, pain is also sad. Nayla, if I could erase the suffering.
To be honest, dropping off an invitation to her made me have to think hard many times. Will he come? or how good is talking to him? without hurting feelings. Nor do they want to end up with misunderstanding.
I took a deep breath, exhaled it quickly then. He still did not realize that I was standing near his wagon.
"Teh, want to batagor well, eat here," I said.
He's woken. Both eyes are round. Perhaps surprised, seeing my presence here at this moment.
I see it's getting more wrong. He even covered his face with both palms. Iha, what ghost do I have? uh but, could it be that she was also fascinated by my good looks. Holy hooch!
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"Stay there, don't go anywhere" I said.
"When someone buys, uh, this will also close, Mas," he said.
"Sstt, it's been cuddled. You count how many times I've eaten batagor, you know?" papaku again.
He frowned, confused to see my behavior. But let it be, I like to see that expression. I'd love to say, Nay, I miss you.
I enjoy this situation. She's a simple girl. Satisfied, when a little know the ins and outs. Of course from a third party, which is none other than its own neighbors. Why do you always lie to me, Nay?
We both fell silent. I enjoyed his cold batagor. As cold as his heart that tried to resist his own feelings.
I'm late, why don't I ask for his guidance from the beginning. I get caught up in a situation like this. When there's a third party, it forces me to find the answer.
"How many?" I tried to check his concentration.
"What?" tanyakanya. Ish, he doesn't count.
"Dad, how much was that?"
He seems to be thinking.
"Seven," he answered doubtfully. I told you, he doesn't focus on paying attention to the feed.
"You count the bribes, or busy ngagumin me, anyway? godaku's.
I saw both cheeks meet red. He was ashamed of being caught. Apparently, my charm is able to attract his attention. I chuckle amusedly in my heart.
"Udah ah, want to close first," he said while standing. I grabbed her wrist, holding her back so she wouldn't hurry. It also holds a beat in my heart that I have to control myself. Nervous, but I have to tell it.
"Don't forget to come well," I said as I placed a piece of wedding invitation paper on the table. He glanced at me and then looked doubtfully at me.
"Mas Devan wants to get married?" ask her with two teary eyes. Please, don't misunderstand me first.
I tried to smile and he replied. Although, with a smile that looks forced.
"You must come" I said, standing up. Then walk closer to him. I stood right in front of the girl, "because the marriage would never have happened, if you hadn't come, my future wife Nayla Lisana Sidqin" I whispered softly later.
He was dumbfounded, his eyes seemed round. As if hypnotized by my words, he didn't even blink.
I slipped some red money into his hand. I told you, I pushed the bricks.
He was still fixated, his two eyebrows frowning at the omen digesting my sentence. I love seeing his expression. And without waiting for long, I hurriedly walked towards the car in front of the alley. Then tuck the earphones in both ears. Pretending not to hear when the girl screams.
"Mas, Mas Devan, wait!" he shouted while chasing. I don't care, I swing my footsteps while humming the song I hear.
You're the fear, I don't care
'Cause I've never been so high
Follow me through the dark
Let me take you past our satellites
You can see the world you bring to life, to life
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