GRAPPLES
He's Coming
~2Shaquellin Hardiswares.~
My name is Shaquellin Adisilla Gustiar. I am the youngest daughter of the Gustiar family. A poor girl and now my last name is pinned on my husband's big name, Hardiswara.
Everyone is worried about me. They think I'm crazy.
I'm not crazy!
I'm not crazy!
You guys don't understand. I just had a heavy shock. I lost someone very valuable in my life. There's no way I'm just forgetting about it. Although 3 years have passed. But, the longer time passed, this heart felt even more painful.
No one understands. Mom and Dad don't understand. Especially my brother, ah forget him. I don't want to talk about it.
Only one person understands, Givarel, my little friend. Only he understands me. He always supported me and pampered me. I am so lucky to have a husband like him.
I don't know what made him choose me to be his life partner. Though clearly, I was considered 'crazy' by some people, even my own family. He can get a much better woman than me.
But, I get it. Maybe he wants to be with me because he feels sorry for me, his little friend. Maybe he also thought I was 'crazy', but at least he never showed it.
He introduced me to Amelia, his cousin. But I know... Amelia is not just Givar's cousin, the girl is a psychologist. Indirectly, Givar also thinks of me as a lunatic, right?
In the end, no one understands.
I don't know if our relationship is going to work out, or not. I don't love Givarel, but I love him as my best friend. I know, too, he doesn't love me.
But that kiss in the kitchen made me see the man in Givar. He treated me like a woman. I am really very happy. I feel like he recognizes me as his wife.
I will try to be a good wife to her. Yes, you have to prove that you're not crazy, Shasha!
This afternoon, I shared more food with the neighbors. Givar accompanied me and brought boxes of food.
One of my neighbors caught my attention. She has a sweet daughter. Plus, my neighbor was pregnant with a second child.
I'm really happy for them. There was a desire in my heart to have a baby. I really like little kids.
That night, I told Givar about my desire to have a small baby. However, he was surprised to hear my request.
Did I speak wrong?
Is it wrong to want to have children?
"Yes" he replied slowly.
But, come to think of it, how to make a child?
"How is it, huh? You know what, don't you?" I asked him.
Instead of answering, Givar was silent as though he was confused. He didn't seem to want to answer my question.
"I'll go on Google first, huh." I decided to find out for myself. I leaned my body against the head of the bed. My hand moved grabbing the phone from the nightstand and started searching.
But, what I'm reading this seems to be the wrong address. Why is it something I can't say.
I guess, making that kid easy. Just kiss and sleep and wait for the baby angel to come and then leave the baby in my stomach.
However, in this article, it is complicated. In the title it says, only for 19+, even though I was already in my twenties more. But, I just found out about this.
So, in addition to kissing, is there another process to having a baby?
Back then, when my girlfriend kissed me for the first time, I cried because I thought she had taken my virginity. It was called the first kiss.
And here it says the first relationship will hurt and bleed. Why is it so bad? I am so afraid of blood.
I read it until it's over. It's not worse than a violent story. Is it possible that all married couples in this world do it?
I saw my husband finish his work on the laptop he turned to me.
I also looked at him and then looked the other way. I was confused because I said it. After knowing how to do it like this, I hesitated.
I kept my phone where it was. Then I said, "Having thought about it, I don't think so, deh."
Without waiting for an answer from her, I threw my body behind her. I felt the movement from beside me. Turns out Givar was lying down too. His hands moved around to my body.
"You scared?" Ask.
Sure was!
Slowly I nodded my head.
"Then, next time just make his son, yes," he said gently. I want to have a little baby, you have to be brave, Sha!
"Darling," I looked at him. Givar was looking at me too.
"What, Honey?" Ask.
"You sleepy?" Ask song. He shook his head, "What's the matter?"
"Emm, I think I changed my mind. How about we make it now?"
I saw both of his cheeks blushing. Did I say the wrong thing again? This husband of mine can change color. I just realized it.
"You ready?" Tanya Givar was serious. His expression made me doubt.
"Is there no other way?" I asked slowly while looking at him seriously.
"Nothing" he answered, bringing his face closer to me. Our noses are rubbing. I felt his breath on my lips.
Oh no, my heart!
"Darling, my heart was terrified" I said trembling.
Givar smiled and gently rubbed my hair, "Sleep."
After hearing the instructions from him, I closed my eyes and tightened my arms at him.
I was just pretending to sleep. That story scares me. But, in the article it is also written, if it is the duty of a wife. I should have done it. Didn't I promise to be a good wife?
I saw Givar was asleep. I slept last night. I tightened my arms.
The next morning, I woke up first. I saw my husband still asleep and hugged my hand. He must have been tired, came home yesterday afternoon and immediately helped me share food with the neighbors.
I took a pillow and made it my hand. Givar hugged the void tightly. I smiled amusedly.
In the kitchen, I began to think about what dishes would be suitable for breakfast. I learned a lot from Amelia. She taught me how to cook and do everything. Although she is not married, she is much better at housework.
I started cooking. I was shocked by my husband's sudden presence helping me cook. I saw his tie just hanging around his neck.
I tie the tie well while on tiptoes. His body is high. He's too tall for a short girl like me. Seeing me in distress, Givar leaned slightly on his body.
After the tie was clean, we had breakfast together. Amelia happened to come. He also had breakfast.
Not to forget, I gave Snowy and Bunny fresh carrots.
Givar went to the office. Now it's just me with Amelia. We talked about a lot of things, including Givar.
"Have she ever dated?" I asked her that ridiculous thing. Amelia seemed to think.
"Emm, yes. But, she acted arbitrarily to all the women who had been her boyfriend. He is not a warm man. But there are women who want him."
I smiled, "Because he's handsome."
Amelia smiled, "Yes, and I'm so glad she's with you. Givar promised to be a good husband to you."
I nodded, apparently she also wanted to do the best for our relationship.
There was a knock on the door. We both turned to the source of the voice, then we looked back at each other.
Who came to the guest?
I got up and rushed to open the door. It feels like my heart will stop beating looking at the face of people who come in the morning like this.
I closed the door immediately, but she held it.
"This is how you welcome your brother's arrival?!" His impact. I widened the door again and looked annoyed at him.
"Whether here?!" My atonement. He smiled cynically, "It's wrong cave ngunjungin adek own cave?"
The man who was none other than my feet touched my face. I immediately shook off his hand.
Svender Adideva Gustiar, the eldest son of the Gustiar family. He has a strange nature and attitude, far from normal. As if what he did was only he who understood. He has been running away from home since I was in a bad condition. Sven often went in and out of the house. He often worries us. However, after the last three years, we do not know the news. We are also tired of his attitude.
And somehow he came to my house.
"The cave is coming in" he said, pushing against my body. Amelia who was standing not far from me looked confusedly at us.
"Who is this beautiful?" Sven asked as he approached Amelia. The girl stared warily at Sven.
"I'm Givarel's cousin" Amelia replied as she stepped away from Sven. The man smiled, "Shaque, why don't you tell me that in your house there is a beautiful girl? The cave must come here every day."
Sven's gaze was fixed on Amelia's body. The man showed a look as if he was 'hungry'. It scared Amelia.
"Don't bother him, Sven," I warned. Sven looked at me. He looked at me like I was a little thing. Since High School, Sven changed. Brother who used to be very good, then turned into evil and likes to do things as he wants.
I don't know what made it that way.
"Lo got the courage from where to dare to rumble the cave? You're not as good as before. Lo who is now nothing more than a crazy girl who was left behind by her future husband. Then marry another guy."
I was really hurt by his words. Once he said that. I'm his sister, his real sister. And he easily threw all that out?
"Papa's sweet boy. Haha, Papa, look at Papa's favorite son. In the past, Papa said, I was a failed child born with a mental disorder. Now your beloved daughter is crazy too!"
I will cry, but I hold back these tears. The more fragile I look in front of him, the happier Sven is and wants to hurt me more.
Amelia, who was visibly annoyed by Sven's words, moved to block me from Sven.
The woman grumbled, "She's your sister, why did you say that? Supposedly as a big brother, you support him and make his situation improve."
Sven grinned softly while folding both hands in front of the chest. He stared at Amelia.
"Young psychologist Kayak lo paid how much does Givar equal? The woman behind you will not be able to heal. He's gone completely insane. No one will be able to heal him. Everything in his head was just sadness for being abandoned by his girlfriend, pathetic!"
I clenched my hand and heard his chattering. He's really been insolent.
"I don't think Shasha is crazy. But, you." Amelia's remark made Sven angry.
It's a danger, Sven's anger can't be taken lightly. The man once injured two security guards who were on duty in my house when he tried to enter through the fort behind the house.
Sven pulled Amelia's arm. I'm trying to get Sven's grip off her. But the man pushed me.
"Okay, crazy cave. Your job is to heal a madman, right? Now heal the cave! And the cave will look, what crazy is it!" Sven pushed Amelia onto the sofa.
What will Sven do?! He's really gone crazy!
"My job is not to cure a madman! My job is to help them through the hard times when they feel hopeless and fall!" Shouted Amelia.
I saw Sven carrying a vase of flowers. I looked up and saw Amelia covering her face in fear.
The man threw it. I closed both eyes in fear. The sound of ceramic shards echoed in this room.
I saw the broken vase on the floor. I can breathe a sigh of relief, because Sven didn't hurt Amelia.
The girl was trembling in fear. Sven moving will grab Amelia.
Before Sven did anything further, I pushed him to the floor. I overstretched him and pulled the front of the shirt he was wearing.
"Don't mess around in my house, lest I turn completely crazy, you know..why don't you ever get what you want? It's because you don't deserve it" I said in a furious tone.
I just said what was in my head. Sven brushed my hand away and then left without excuse.
Amelia looked anxiously at me. Maybe he was afraid of my expression that could change all of a sudden.
"Sha's? Everything's fine, okay?" Amelia approached me carefully. I stared hard at him.
"Why see me like that? Do I look dangerous?" My toot.
Amelia shook her head quickly.
"I told you, don't treat me like your patient. I'm not crazy" I said annoyed.
Amelia immediately shook her hand, "No, no, no, that's not it, Shasha."
"You're a psychologist, but that doesn't mean you can't think I'm crazy either!" I screamed and then went up the stairs.
"Shasha, don't listen to your sister, she's just jealous of you."
I cringed without stopping to climb the stairs.
Envied? Where'd he know?
Givarel, that man must have told Amelia everything. I don't like it when someone I trust shares my personal affairs with someone else.
"Stop being a psychologist, stop helping me! I'm not crazy!" I screamed and stopped looking at him. Amelia came up the stairs to get to me.
"Sorry, if my words hurt you. I'm doing this for you and Givar. I thought you were my own brother."
My feelings are mixed now. However, I was still upset and continued my steps to the room.
I locked the door and threw the key in any direction. The door to my room was knocked on by Amelia from outside.
"Sha, you can't keep going. I can help you. I don't think you're like that."
Didn't answer. I threw my ass into bed.
I heard Amelia's steps were getting further away. He passed from my front room.
Sighing, that's what I did.
I kept quiet and thought about what had happened. All of this left my old wounds torn back.
I want to forget it, but it's hard.
Shasha enters the elevator to the client's meeting room. The girl checked her phone.
Today he came to a company that cooperated with the Gustiar company.
The elevator stopped on the 15th floor. A handsome man came in. Shasha did not look at the man at all. He focused on his phone. Without him noticing, the man noticed.
Beautiful, interior.
Suddenly the elevator shook. Shasha was a little surprised, so her phone fell down. The man took the phone and gave it back to Shasha.
The girl smiled politely, "Thank you."
The man who was none other than Refandi was smiling as well, "Sama-sama."
The elevator stopped on the 20th floor. The door did not open and there was a rumbling sound that made Shasha worried.
"No need to worry, soon the elevator will move normally" said Refandi. Shasha turned to him, "You know where?"
"Just a hunch."
Shasha did not trust the man. He sat down, after all who could hang his fate in a hunch?
Unfortunately, there was no signal in the elevator. Shasha sighed heavily and leaned her back against the elevator wall.
Refandi only smiled as he shook his head slowly at Shasha's behavior.
They were in the elevator for half an hour. Shasha sat on the handle of the elevator, while Givar sat down.
Nobody knows, what's going on out there? Did anyone notice the elevator was broken?
Shasha looked at her watch which showed at 4 p.m. He breathed heavily.
"The meeting started 20 minutes ago" Shasha said. Refandi looked up at the beautiful girl. He got up while justifying his suit.
"So you came for a meeting too?" Ask Refandi. Shasha nodded, "You too?"
Refandi looked thoughtful then nodded. Shasha took a long breath.
"We will not miss the meeting. I'm sure the meeting hasn't started yet" Refandi said. Shasha frowned, "Where do you know?"
"Now," the same answer. Shasha started to think that the man next to her was strange.
"Oh yes, my name is Refandi." The man extended his hand to Shasha. Friendly, Shasha received Refandi's hand.
"Shaquellin's."
"It's nice to meet you" said Refandi.
Shasha smiled as she nodded, "It's nice to meet you too."
"Can we get out of here?" Ask Shasha. Refandi shook his head, "Gapapa, the important thing is that I've met a beautiful girl."
Hearing that, Shasha frowned, "What did you say?"
Refandi was surprised then shook his head while smiling amusedly.
Though new acquaintances, but this person has been mengombal, Shasha grumbled in heart.
The elevator moved back up. The two humans inside were slightly jumped.
"I told you, right.the elevator will move again. My gut's never wrong."
Shasha just shook her head slowly. They were on the 27th floor. Shasha and Refandi entered the meeting room.
Shasha was confused, it turned out that the meeting had not started yet. Refandi sat down as well as Shasha.
"I'm sorry I came late. The elevator was problematic" Refandi said.
Everyone nodded in understanding, including Shasha who had just arrived with Refandi.
"Alright, we start the meeting" said Refandi. Shasha frowned, so the handsome man was the owner of the company, Refandi Glend.
He knew the meeting had not yet begun.
Shasha and Refandi often met in meetings. They got close.
When dinner at a restaurant, suddenly heavy rain fell on the city of Jakarta.
Shasha turned her head out.
"The rain will not stop. We'll be stuck inside this restaurant" Refandi said. Shasha frowned, "Is there a hunch again?"
Refandi nodded, "Yes, and it pleased me. Because all night stuck with you here."
Shasha chuckled, "We can still go home, you bring the car, Mr. Glend."
"I won't drive and take you home. I'll stay here with you."
Shasha rolled her eyes, "I can drive your car and leave you."
Refandi spread his shoulders. He showed me his car keys, "How do you take them from me?"
"I'll rob him" Shasha replied lightly. Refandi laughed, "Beautiful robber, then, try to do it."
Shasha tried to grab the key. However, Refandi toyed with him so that Shasha had trouble getting to him.
When their faces were close, Refandi kissed Shasha's lips at a glance as the girl gasped and touched her lips. It was his first kiss.
"Why did you kiss me?! I have lost my virginity" cried Shasha.
Refandi frowned, "What?"
Shasha rubbed her tears that constantly flowed down her cheeks, "Because you kissed me, my virginity is gone."
Refandi held back his laughter, this girl is completely innocent.
"Don't cry, yeah, I'll take responsibility."
Because of that kiss, Shasha couldn't sleep all night. She was afraid of getting pregnant because of Refandi's kiss.
After a kiss at the restaurant, Refandi confesses his feelings to Shasha. The girl also loves Refandi. They finally had a good relationship.
Glend's family and Gustiar's family supported their relationship, until Shasha and Refandi became engaged.
I smiled remembering all of that. I shouldn't have thought of another man, while I've been Givarel's.
I stared at the ring tucked in my finger. This is a binder from Givarel. There was once another ring here. Refandi's engagement bond once encircled my finger.
However, even so, Refandi is my past that cannot be repeated. I'll just be with Givarel now and forever. It doesn't matter whether I love him or not.
I will never end this relationship.
I will open my heart and try to accept it. Give her time to fill this heart.
My phone vibrated, apparently there was a message from Amelia.
The sha? You all right? Don't worry me. If you need anything, I'm downstairs.
I saved my phone back.
I admit I changed, different from the old me. But that doesn't mean I'm crazy right now.
They don't understand.
I don't need anything. I just want peace for myself.
My phone shook again, I saw my husband's name on the screen.
Honey, I'm home early today. Get ready, we'll go for a walk. I'll give you a surprise.
Unknowingly, I smiled reading the message. Back to remembering something. My mood got worse today.
I decided not to pay it back. However, not long after, my phone shook again. Givar gave me another message.
Why is my message only read? I have a surprise that definitely makes you feel good.
All right, I'll answer it.
Yes, I read it. Thanks though.
Givar sent back a reply, I'm on the road now. Anyway, if I am at home, you must be ready to walk, yes.
I didn't answer, I didn't open the message. Just read it through the notification.
I closed both my eyes.
~.2~
_He loves you\, but he can't show it right._
~.2~
23.12: 20 October 2019
Ucu Irna Marhamah's
