Getting Lost on the Way Home

The Bloodless Pain

Rasya Putra Santoso is a mysterious man who has been behind the terror. He was an old friend of mine who hadn't seen me in a long time.

Not accidentally we passed each other again at a restaurant at that time.

I saw her passing by, but it wasn't very clear.

I was like a recognize and very familiar but somewhat doubtful.

Suddenly he was behind me.

Amira !!

In shock I looked a little confused because I had somewhat forgotten who he was.

I'm Rasya, your old friend who used to be in Lo's office.. Rasya tried to remind me.

OOO yes yes.. Long time no see how are you ?

Still working in the old place ?

Rasya like a smile like a pleasure.

Thank God I am good news mir, I am also still in the old place. You yourself how are you? , continued Rasya.

And we don't talk much about work. He asked for my contact and continued his business.

I didn't expect to see him again after all this time.

I used to have a crush on him. But at that time he was with someone else.

And now I don't know if he's family or not.

Good night mir, it's me Rasya. Not sleeping yet ? . The sound of my text message.

Yes Yes, good night. Not yet, answer me

Ohh.. Next time we have to talk again.. Much to say to you Mir. Rasya Sahut

Something was strange and I was curious.

After a few days, we often arranged a time to meet.

And I definitely enjoyed it because it turned out that my feelings were still the same. Still interested and comfortable to be by his side.

And what I did not suffer, it turns out that he also has the same feelings. He has also long harbored feelings of liking towards me.

Mir... You are single now, right ?

rasha asked with a hoarse voice sounding a bit awkward.

I just nodded.

I've actually been lazy to date let alone start from scratch. By remembering the age that is suitable for a family as well. I want to find someone who's serious.

Continue ??? . Continue me

It's like this, mir... I think you're the right person, the one who's fit to be my best friend.

Do you want to have a serious relationship with me ?

You want to not marry me ? . He muttered expectantly

Actually that's what I was expecting. But since I was a girl I had to sell a little expensive and told her to give me a week to think about it.

Full in a week after that we had no contact at all. And suddenly he met again.

And then I set the time and met him.

Mir.... How ?

Was there an answer to my question that day ?

Looking at me with feeling.

I was a little awkward and trembling actually. But I pretended to be rilex and answered.

Yes Yes, I am willing to marry you. With a stammering voice.

And finally we started to prepare everything. Especially asking for the consent of both sides of the family.

And Alhamdulillah it turned out all smoothly. Neither my parents nor her parents approved of us. And we finally got married.

At the beginning of the wedding everything was fine. It looks harmonious and romantic.

But over time..

After a few months, everything slowly changed.

I was pregnant with our first child .

But I felt we were slowly feeling far away even close.

Sleep is no longer what it used to be.

Frequently misunderstand.

Even the most painful to me he became more frequent commenters on me.

Starting from attitude, appearance, and service.

We rarely get along.

A little bit of a fuss, a little bit of getting along.

People say it's normal.

But I'm getting tired. I often think about ending it.

He's different now.

More often angry. And sometimes he doesn't realize that he's been yelling at me. And it hurt me.

Until one day I started asking myself.

What's wrong with me ?

What should I fix ?

But it's still a question that has no answer on my mind.

One day I tried to approach him again and kept approaching him.

But he was a little disturbed.

Am I overreacting? , I asked in my heart

Maybe he's tired of work. Or is something else that makes it even more uncomfortable.

Baby, can I ask you something ?

Like someone else. By the way. Answer is relaxed

I asked with hesitation. Are you tired of me ?

With our relationship ?

He approached me, then hugged me.

I saw a smile on his face.

Love .. We're already married. I have a child soon and I will love you.

But that answer was only a temporary relief.

His sometimes cold attitude makes me always question my position and his feelings.

Because what a relationship does if there is no love in it.

Being kept will be more painful.

Parting will be a lot of wasted.

Ohh god...

What tests have befallen my household?, crying

Always stuck in my mind.

Our wedding vows and promises first.

Which makes me still tossed around with my chaotic feelings.

I just want my husband back.

Who loves me. Love me.

Who cares and cares like that time.

Right the saying.

" The more men are pursued, the farther away. The more dear will be the more painful ".

But why don't you.

We have made a holy promise.

And it is only natural that my feelings day by day increase in him.

That's incorrect.. It was wrong ... I have to make a little room for myself, I murmured

I want to find busy. But look at the condition of my body that is two-bodied. *How to try ?

Yang. .. Dear.... I'm bored at home. I'm tired of not admitting anything. I want to do something that keeps me a little busy.

Do what .. Our situation is like this again, this is how it used to be. Patience first. Focus on our son first*.try to calm me down.

Sometimes I enjoy these boring days.

But sometimes my mind is screwed up on its own without direction.

I'm afraid of stress.

Especially if he is working. I'm really alone at home.

All I did was sleep, watch, sleep again, watch again. That's how it is every day.

Home business is sometimes not enough to throw this tired.

He's coming home from work. Sometimes I want to walk around for a moment. Relaxing brain. But not delicious.

He was tired all day. There's no way I'm still interrupting her break time anymore.

Again and again I'm at war with my own brain.

It feels like I want to do me time, vacation or replying for a week outside the house.

Where knows this boredom, chaos and fatigue can be lost.

But it's just a wish.

And it is not good to leave the husband alone just to get away from the darkness.

Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Really tiring.