Forced Mate

Little Things That Grow Inside

...“I don’t wanna feel the way that I do. I just wanna be right here with you. I don’t wanna see, see us apart. I just wanna say it straight from my heart”...

...Westlife ~ Miss You...

...*.*.*....

It may be true, that sometimes we just realize the meaning of a person's presence, once that person leaves. Not just once, almost every time Ayu wakes up looking for Alex's whereabouts. Sometimes he forgets that he is no longer in his life. That man now has a new life.

Not a year, it's been two years no news from Alex. The message containing the picture that day was his last communication with Alex. Ayu is too hurt and disappointed, not to contact Alex again. Like this morning, when Ayu woke up, she slowly kissed the still slumbering forehead of Aleeya. The woman came out of the room, staring at the kitchen for a very long time. It was as if Alex was there, busy preparing breakfast.

Habits are a scary thing. It can come unnoticed. Living deep in the subconscious. There is a tightness that robs Ayu's heart. Either since when, the sense of it became great and filled every vacuum in his heart. Isn't this what he wanted to live apart? Yes, separated and divorced.

All this time Ayu wants Alex to achieve the happiness he should, not get stuck living with him. So, why is the space that should be empty overgrown with unbearable pain. Little things like strawberries always remind him of Alex's face when he first tried the fruit after a long time. Likewise with the glass that the man used.

He now stands adgam white glass that is indeed owned by Alex. As she recalled, the glass was bought by Alex as the man accompanied her and Aleeya shopping.

Two years, if you think about it, feels very fast passing. However, with all the yearning lodged in Ayu's heart, those two years became a very long time. When longing to whack the feeling, a day is like months that do not want to pass.

“Mommy!” Aleeya's hair was disheveled. In his grip was the same white rabbit as when he was a baby. The fur is not as smooth as it was two years ago, but it is still clean. Ayu washed it last Sunday, and it had to be through drama because Aeleya didn't want the doll washed.

“Good morning,” greet Ayu with a bitter smile. He stared at the doll in the handle of Aleeya, the doll given by Alex who was always guarded by her daughter.

“Good morning,” reply Aleeya, rubbing her eyes with one hand. The child who was almost three years old was beginning to be fluent in his pronunciation. Although it was a bit late to start talking, but fortunately he did not lisp at all. Every word he could pronounce clearly.

“Have your face washed?”

The boy shakes. He also ran into the bathroom. Ride on a bench that is specially prepared for his tiny body. First of all, he washes his hands with soap available in an automatic dispenser. Then water his face with water, rubbing it with his small hands. It's not as thorough as her mother's way. At least clean enough. Not to forget, he brushed his teeth. Again, not as clean as her mother, but Ayu is indeed happier if Aeleya learns to be independent.

“Already, Mommy!” aleeya shouted excitedly in English, reaching for the doll she named Bubu, which she had just placed on the floor.

“Come eat first!” call Ayu, serve a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of carrot juice. Unlike the children who usually hate vegetables, Aleeya is crazy about vegetables.

Instead of sweet fruit juice, the toddler actually prefers tomatoes, carrots, to broccoli.

*.*.*.

“Your son did not teach Indonesian, Yu. Every English talk continues,” protest Arini.

Ayu exhaled a rough breath. He claimed to have never given Aeleya English at home in the slightest. The boy had heard English from Alex since infancy, perhaps that's why it was the first language that Aleeya could speak.

“But he understands, Mom. The proof is that he can answer and respond well if given the Indonesian language. I don't want to force him to use two languages directly, pity.”

Ayu and Arini sat on the back porch seat. Watch over Aeleya and Zahra who are running in the Arini flower garden.

“Shouldn't be unplugged!” shouted Arini, he got up and immediately danced towards two beautiful toddlers who were pulling orchid flowers.

Arini stared at the purple petals that were in Aeleya's hands. It was his favorite orchid. Besides the petals are beautiful and wide, the plant only flowers at certain times. That's why orchid plants are so expensive. After a long wait, the flower was actually destroyed by his two grandchildren.

“Grandmother, I love you,” said Aleeya with a smile and sparkling eyes. He thrust the petal at Arini.

“Check, look what your son did!” peekit Arini's.

Ayu who was still sitting directly approached her mother. His mouth instantly clenched as soon as he saw what Aeleya was grasping. He knew very well how his mother ran amok because the flowers were disturbed.

“Darling, how is Grandma's flower removed?” Ayu crouched down beside Aleeya, stroking the blue-eyed child's head.

Arini. Of course he was angry, but how could he scold his cute grandson. Not to mention Zahra who from earlier smiled while holding his hand.

“Honey, the flowers are beautiful, you love the flowers?” Ayu asked Aleeya, and immediately answered a nod. “If you are dear, it should be treated. Don't revoke! Poor thing, the flowers are crying, right.”

Ayu never thought she would say anything Alex ever said to her. Yes, maybe Alex is not next to Aeleya, but Ayu learned a lot from her son's father. Aeleya can still learn to be a great person like Alex, even if not directly.

“Sorry yes, Flowers. I didn't mean to hurt you,” Aleeya said. His eyes glazed over, sorry for what he did. He tried to put the flower again on the stem. Not wanting to be plugged in, he looked at Ayu for answers.

“The material is dead,” exclaims Zahra.

Aleeya stared at the flower for a long time. No matter to Ayu who was already trying to comfort her. Suddenly, the boy ran towards the fish pond. He threw the flower into the pool.

“Loh, how to dump there?” Ayu was already beside Aeleya.

Aleeya turned to Ayu, smiling sweetly. “If given water, the flowers must be alive.”

Ayu simply stroked the top of Aeleya's head. He nodded slowly, saying that the flowers would definitely live. Not to lie to his son, but he did not want to kill Aleeya's imagination. There will come a time when the child will understand. Let your imagination take him flying. Ayu's job is just to continue to maintain, so that when reality comes his son is ready to release his imagination.

Like the fact that maybe the man he always will never be in his life. When Aeleya asked about Alex's whereabouts, Ayu always said that the man was in a distant place, no cell phone and no internet. That Alex is now in the land of the fairies, to keep Aeleya from having nightmares.

Fortunately, Alex never visited. When Aleeya's birthday, there's a gift she sent. Not only that, through his lawyer, Alex gave a special account to Aeleya. He said, the form of responsibility on his daughter. However, Ayu never withdrew a single rupiah from the account. No matter how many, he did not know.

Aeleya's needs can still be fulfilled. The love and attention he can give. However, no matter how much love Ayu lavishes on Aeleya, her son still needs a father figure. Admired protective figure. The first form of love for girls.

Every time he looked at Aeleya, there was always regret in Ayu. If only he wasn't selfish. No. gabe. If only he could be selfish. Act not caring. Being the head of stone. Perhaps, Aeleya did not have to be a victim.

“Come we're in!” Ayu thrust her hand at Aeleya. The boy greeted him cheerfully. Ayu hoped that the smile on her pretty face would not fade.

Not much has changed from the Ayu family over the past two years. Except for the gray hair on Dwiki's head that seems to have a pinch. Maybe also Ayu who is no longer spoiled since becoming a mother.

Dwiki was playing with Zahra and Aleeya. Zahra was in her carriage, while Aleeya tugged at her clothes asking to be carried anyway. There was no other choice, the man whose gray hair had almost taken control of his head, tried to lift Aleeya up in his arms.

“Yes, Dad. Remember age!” arini's Nagging. “Later tonight Dad must have been complaining encok.”

“Yes already, let's play chess.”

The two children who had been taken down shouted excitedly. They are always happy when invited to play chess, although in fact they only set, then scatter the chess pieces. It is not uncommon to make her like a talking doll. Instead of playing chess, they play games.

“Saturday Tamara's wedding, right?” Ira asked as she and Ayu were busy in the kitchen.

Ayu nodded, her mind glaring away at the past. If only he hadn't thought of Tamara, could Alex still be by her side?

“Why? You remember Alex again?” Ira is a friend of Ayu's sharing the story. Her brother-in-law was gentle and wise in responding to every outpouring of Ayu's heart. That's why he's comfortable with Ira.

“I should still be with Alex, Ma'am. I should have heard the words of Mbak Ira,” said Ayu, his eyes sore.

“Already, you must be strong for Aeleya. Don't let dad and mom know you cry again! They must be sad.”

Ayu nodded. He bit his lower lip, trying to withstand the tightness and urgency of tears. Is correct. He must be strong, there are still many people who love him.

*.*.*.