Forced Mate

It's Enough (2)

The quiet room began to sound as a team of doctors came to check on Tamara. There were two female nurses and two doctors, each a general practitioner and a psychologist. The two doctors introduced themselves in a friendly manner and a smile that never disappeared from his face. They took turns explaining the symptoms Tamara might have felt after losing a lot of blood.

Alex was standing next to Tamara's bed. All asked about the situation of his best friend. I don't know when the last time he called the woman who is now lying down. Maybe when Opa Surya died. He knew Tamara's nature. Behind his smile, there were many wounds that he had suffered. Behind all the perfect impressions he had, there were many flaws he was trying to cover.

Tamara is a closed person. All the sadness he usually keeps to himself, only to Alex he series g share. Sometimes, with just a smile and a hug the man could all his anxiety evaporate.

"Alex!" call Tamara when Alex is about to close the door of the room that was not closed tightly by the team of doctors. Alex stopped and came closer. The man immediately grabbed Tamara's hand which was raised slightly, as if Wanting to grab. He touched as gently as possible, considering the woman's wrist was bandaged after doctors performed a minor surgical procedure.

"Don't go!" lirih Tamara who was replied by a nod by Alex.

"I'm here." Alex stroked Tamara's hair. Look at the woman who does not want to take her eyes off her. Remembered by Richard's emotions when he called last night. His mind began to connect the series of events that might ignite the pain in Tamara. The death of Opa Surya and there may also be problems with Tamara and Richard's relationship which is the cause of the woman's determination to slice her pulse.

"I hate myself, Al." Droplets of water came out from both of Tamara's eyes.

It is rare for Tamara to call Alex her childhood nickname, Al. Ever since they grew up and split apart, the woman called Alex or Lex, like everyone else.

Alex fell silent and continued stroking Tamara's head. He understood how lonely Tamara might feel after Opa Surya died. The only person who loved Tamara in her family was Opa Surya. Hard education that sometimes seems authoritarian has been felt by the woman since childhood, even until now. The rules of his family must be followed.

"Why, Tammy?" ask Alex at last. He attached his eyes to Tamara's clear eyes. "You know, I love you very much. I'm always by your side. But, but, why are you leaving?"

Alex's eyes started to tear up. Imagining the possibility of Tamara not being saved alone has made her heart crumble. A little late, maybe now he can only cry in front of the lifeless body of the woman.

Stifled cries rang out from Tamara's mouth. Her tears seemed to be non-stop.

"Sorry, Al. I'm sorry," said Tamara followed Isaac from her lips.

Alex shakes. Feeling unworthy of Tamara's apology. That woman should apologize to herself.

"I don't have anyone, Al. I'm lonely" Tamara said.

"There I am, Tammy. I've never left" Alex assured.

"You have Ayu. You've forgotten me," Tamara turned her face away. He continued to sob, between sadness and guilt.

Tamara's right. Ever since Alex got married, he never took much time for his best friend. In the past, no matter what happened, Tamara was always her priority. However, as a husband, Alex knows which one should be the center of rotation, his son and his wife.

Alex's memory seemed to take him to all the days he had gone through in his life. The childhood that he passed with Tamara, until yesterday when he was at the house of Ayu's parents. All that precious time with the people who gave him a smile. And of all those things, Aeleya and Ayu were the most beautiful smiles she had ever had.

"You always have a place here, Tammy." Alex pointed at his chest. "As friends. Not just for me, for Ayu as well."

Tamara's eyes closed. Wrinkles appeared around his eyes. With the water coming out hard.

"No, I can't possibly stare at Ayu," I'm Tamara in the middle of her stuffing. "I'm not a good friend."

Alex frowned. He turned back as soon as he heard Tamara continue.

"I love you, Al."

The love word from Tamara swirled around in Alex's head. His ears are buzzing. Sometimes he blinked, not believing the new words he heard. His hand took off the woman's fingers. He took two steps back and shook his head, trying to calm down.

"I .. I hate this feeling, Al. I know you're happy with Ayu" Isak Tamara. "I don't deserve to live with this stupid feeling, Al."

Alex was in his place. The man's mind reconnects the curse Richard addressed to him and Tamara's confession just now.

"Richard know?"

A little nod Tamara answered Alex's question. Finally, Alex understood why a gentle man like Richard could swear harshly. He smirked small. Fate is so good at playing. How the scenario he set with a variety of surprises in it.

"I'm not supposed to love you, Al" Tamara said. Sorrow and sorrow mixed in his joking.

Alex shook his head and replied, "I love you too, Tammy." His gaze deeply fixed on the bead of Tamara. He was silent for a moment, still stroking the cheeks of the friend he loved so much. "But, just as a friend I want to keep, I want to be happy. You have nowhere else that no one can replace." Alex continued inwardly, "Like Ayu's place that no one else can replace."

Who says that a man cannot love two different women? Alex could, there could even be three or maybe four. Ayu, Aeleya, Tamara, and Marissa. All four are in Alex's heart, occupying their respective boxes. A sense of affection that is no different, but has a different level of priority. Between Alex and Tamara there is love, but not love that is tempestuous like a couple.

"You're precious to me, Tammy. Make your family, make your friends. We all love you. You're not alone." Alex tries to convince Tamara. Don't want her best friend to feel guilty and act stupid again.

"But, I .. I sinned, Al. Where can I meet us and Ayu with this feeling." The tone of frustration was clearly heard by Tamara.

***

That night Richard is at Tamara's apartment, intending to accompany her fiance all night. There is no celebration to re-know Tanara this year. She said she just wanted to be alone with Richard, sit on the balcony and sip some fine wine.

At that time they were standing in front of the glass that became the balcony barrier. Richard stood behind Tamara while wrapping his arms around her lover's waist. They long silent. Richard was engrossed in the sweet aroma of the woman in his arms. Meanwhile, Tamara is in a state of anxiety.

"Richie, I think I've fallen in love."

"I know, Babe, I know that you really love me."

Tamara shakes. "I love Alex."

Richard's embrace slowly slipped. The man took a few steps back. His jaw hardened with anger. He had been guessing for a long time. But I hate to have to assume. The change in Tamara's attitude since knowing Alex's marriage according to Richard is indeed less reasonable. The woman suddenly seemed to withdraw from everything, preferring to spend time alone. Whenever Richard talked about preparing for their wedding, Tamara always avoided. When they first got engaged, the woman was enthusiastic.

"Tell me you're lying, Tamara. It's just a prank for your birthday, right. Is it because your surprise on my birthday failed, so you prepared this unfunny prank?"

Tamara's tears began to melt. "I'm .. I also hope this prank, Richie. I also wish my heart was just upset. But, no! I do love Alex," said Tamara, whose body rests on the balcony.

Richard intends to appease Tamara, but is. He just glued to look at the ring he used to pin on Tamara's ring finger regardless.

"I'm sorry, Richie," said Tamara, thrusting the ring at Richard. "I don't want to keep hurting you."

Richard grabbed the ring, clenching it tightly until his fingers turned white. He was silent as Tamara hugged him with tears. After thinking that his search would stop at Tamara, he was presented with a painful fact.

Really, Richard had no intention of leaving that night. He wanted to spend the night accompanying Tamara waiting for her birthday. However, the pain prompted him to throw the origin of the ring in his fingers in the air. Letting objects that once bound Tamara's fingers disappear, such as the bond between them that is also lost.

Tamara's body was on the floor. He kept sobbing. I felt sorry for letting Richard go. Feeling stupid for loving Alex, his best friend. Not only a friend, but also the husband of a close friend. The father of the cute baby Aleeya.

Tamara pensively long. Until he finally entered, staring at all corners of his apartment room. The place where he and Richard spent a lot of time. Somehow his heart could betray a man as good as Richard.

Both of Tamara's hands covered her face. His shoulders went up and down with a sobbing and a poignant howl. Remembering Ayu's face, made her heart more sliced. His friend's smile since college seemed to stick a thorn in his heart. She was so brave to love her husband who was always nice to her. How could he bear that burden?

All of those mixed feelings drove Tamara to one point, dead. She loves Alex, but she cannot be the woman who ruined her own best friend's marriage.

In Tamara's arms is a picture of her and Alex as children. Maybe the love in Tamara has been there since then, but she never realized. It may be true that sometimes the meaning of a person's presence is felt when they have lost.

The frame of the box hit the floor violently as soon as Tamara threw it. The glass in the frame was broken, but fortunately not scattered. One hand Tamara grabbed the shards. His eyes closed as he began to feel pain and dizziness. His body suddenly lost power and fell. He wanted to die, visit his grandfather. He wanted to die, buried with a sense he did not deserve.

***

We keep going, yeah. It's near the end of this season because 😭

sorry, yes, I always forget UP 🙏