Eclipse - Special Operations in Another World

Episode 14

"Muse....What does this mean?" I asked flat while watching the glass filled with a foamy yellow liquid in front of me. Is this really beer? It tastes worse than pissing.

"Take a drink" replied Muse without any guilt at all. He played a half-done beer glass in his hand, as if to provoke my anger. "My debt is paid off, isn't it?"

Basic stingy.

We are currently in a bar in the central business district of Fraegligr. Muse chose this place because he thought the food and beer were good but at a friendly price. As Muse promised on the hill Hvittfjall, he would buy me a beer. Well, I was wrong too. He didn't say the beer would be good, but still...!

An idea came into my head. I patted Muse on the shoulder and pointed at something. "Look! Nude dancer!"

Enthusiastically, the pervert stared at my finger pointing. His eyes looked very hungry. "Huh?! M-where?!"

While he was off guard, I snatched Muse's glass and uprooted it. Uh, it feels really fresh. This is probably the best beer I've ever had....

"Woi!" He exclaimed in annoyance while pounding the table. Visitors sitting next to gasps at the jolt before continuing their own affairs. I just put the empty glass back on the table burping.

"Praktir mates really calculation?"

"That's a high alcohol content, oon!"

"Conscious demon!" Ketus.

"Your head cares about the devil! I don't want to drag you to the barracks because of that."

"Oh yes, thank you very much, sandnigger," said I sarcastically. Don't be surprised that we often throw racist taunts. It's common.

I then ordered two more beers at the bartender. I'll pay him not to run amok. The two of us sat down leisurely while observing the crowd in this bar. The later, the more visitors come. Most of the visitors, seen from the uniforms they wear are soldiers escorting the delegates. They have fun and joke with their respective partners. They look like different people than the one I saw in the meeting room last afternoon.

My eyes glanced at the watch that showed 0138. It doesn't feel like it's past midnight. A pack of Santa Whales knights walked into the bar. I didn't know that their troops were allowed to go to a place like this.

I realized their gazes were towards me. The look between fear and annoyance. They must be knights under Jeanne or maybe the fans with her. I know because the knights in the other squads look mediocre with me, like Ingrid and Xenous. Muse then whispered to me.

"Wand, you should apologize later."

"On those knights?"

Seriously? Is Muse too drunk to know what he's saying?

"On Ingrid and the other healers, because you're too strong, they're having trouble treating that pointy-eared bastard's wounds."

Oh, it turns out that he was still conscious, his eyes had absolutely no signs of fatigue or sleepiness. May Muse consume ripped fuel again?

"I also just realized. Knights are so weak, right? Being hit once straight by KO," continued him in a mocking tone, making me chuckle.

Not once, but many times. Edward could have died. Maybe if Muse and Frey weren't there, they would have been killed.

Hah, I could have gotten out of control like that. The voices inside my head were truly terrifying....

"All right, I'll do it later."

But in hindsight it feels relieved to be able to bruise the song's face.

By the way, how is Jeanne doing right now? The wound on his shoulder looked quite deep....

"Think Jeanne? Take it easy, the boy's been treated, no serious injuries."

"Sok knows," My facial expressions and speech are out of sync. For a long time, Muse knew clearly that I was lying, but how could he know I didn't know.

"It turns out here you guys are."

A familiar English voice sounded from the door of the bar. We turned our heads to look at the man, who was none other than Blade. He walked up to us together...The xenous? Is he still underage? I mean, she looks like a little girl no older than 14. Are there no regulations that prohibit minors from drinking alcohol?

The two of them sat on an empty chair to my left.

"I think you guys are 'ena-ena' on the basement floor," continued the man, making us both sigh.

"I'm sorry, captain, I still have my pride, I don't want my burrow in a whore."

Blade laughed after hearing Muse's speech.

"Based on Navy SEALs, your self-esteem is sky-high, huh?"

I think it's a good time to bite back. "Here, pretend to sell expensive, even though your taste gyaru like Tsuba-"

Muse suddenly stuck his trumpet on the table and looked at me casually while propped up with his chin.

"What did you say?" Asked the American youth with a plain smile.

"It's not so..." I shook my head and tried to shift the topic. How could he be so scary, huh? "Captain himself isn't down?"

"Heh, my wife is so much better than that full-on puki," The man chuckled while blushing. I just found out that she has a partner. His face then showed a horrified expression. "In addition, he's got some sort of sixth sense. My Johnny can be cut later to home."

Muse and I laughed at our captain's expression before continuing to drink. Fuh, completely refreshed my mind after thinking about unimportant things all day.

Hm? Is it just me or Blade staring at me all the time.

"This is the first time I've seen you drink," asked my boss worriedly. As the superior and commander of the GREEN Task Force it was his duty to pay attention to the morale of his subordinates, but should he question me whenever I pondered? "Is there a problem?"

"Of course there is, about 'the holy virgin girl'," Muse replied with a chuckle as if mocking 'Payback Bitch!', making me want to burn her alive. Hearing that, Blade shook his head in astonishment.

"That problem again? You're like a little kid."

Yep, he's right...

"After what happened, it was hard for me to apologize and make up with him. I can't even look him in the eye" I can only complain and sigh. I feel so helpless in a situation like this...."I'm a coward, right?"

We all turned to Xenous who was sounding sipping beer like drinking mineral water.

"Huh, fresh!" Why did they all let the little ones drink liquor? Those two orange eyes looked me deeply. He understood it like he was studying a book. "If you really mean it, just apologize, you. Don't think anything of the sort."

"But I'm not sure he'll be"

"If you don't try, how do you know, you?"

....he's right.

"It's not the opportunity that comes to us, it's us who are looking for the opportunity. The longer you think the longer it's going to keep this up."

It's the first time I've had a lecture like this apart from that Old Man. It made me smile.

"alright... Thank you, Xen."

"Together!" The dog girl replied while patting my shoulder. "I'm sure Jeanne will forgive you. She's a nice, forgiving girl."

"For the size of a child, you're wise too huh, doggo?" Cape Muse while chuckling.

"Little boy? I'm 27, you!"

"Did?!" This little girl...apparently older than me and Muse?!

"Know! I've been studying magic since I was 14, and since then my body hasn't grown due to the side effects of magic."

His explanation made me even more curious about the side effects of magic. "What about Ingrid or other magic users? Why do they keep growing like normal?"

"Hehehe, I'm Archmage. Unlike ordinary Magus, Archmage can master 4 magic elements at once. For the reason why I can't grow up, we're still finding out about it."

I nodded in understanding hearing Xenous's explanation. Maybe this place will be a hunting field for scientists to learn new science.

Putting aside the explanation of sorcery, I again felt a sense of anxiety in my chest.

This is the first time I have been faced with such a situation. I've been dating but I really feel Jeanne is very different from my ex. When they wanted to break up with me, I was mediocre. I understand why they want that, but about Jeanne....

I have to be really careful. Any of our friendships could be further broken. I really don't want to get away from him....

"Anyways, tomorrow you're gonna have to be better than Jeanne. Free to have the look of Ikemen but not used well," said Muse while stroking my back. The smell of his breath had already given off the smell of alcohol. "I can guess some chick in that corner is going to fuck you."

I looked at the girls that Muse showed me. It is beautiful and also with a body that 'wah', but from their clothes that are like a lack of materials, I can know that they are prostitutes. The kind of woman who would unhesitatingly open her crotch if offered money. Their aura was very much different from Jeanne's.

I laugh at myself. Why do I always compare all girls with him? What's wrong with me?

Without me noticing, Blade chuckled at my agitation. "Make you excited, now I'll pay you."

"Mantab, captain!" Muse immediately kicked the table to attract the attention of the bartender. "Master, I'm messaging-"

"Let me order!" Nice move, Captain Britain.

"Basan stingy," muttered the thief.

For tonight it might be better if I focus on refreshing even though it is very difficult for me to be calm and think about the plans for tomorrow. At least the drinks Blade ordered tasted better. I'm so much more relaxed that I feel like I want to fall asleep at the bar.

*****

The next morning, I woke up with a very painful head. I must have had a lot of drinks last night. Well, at least I can still walk up to the barracks before collapsing on a hard, thin mat. I didn't even take off my armor before I went to bed.

Fortunately, the headache stopped after I took the dizzy medicine Ingrid gave me. A wound-healing herb, a fast-acting anti-toxin, a stamina-boosting drug more effective than doping, and now a cure for dizziness and basic ailments. This world has better medical science than in my world. Maybe this will be one of the positive impacts if our world is interconnected. Now I regret not going to medical school.

From morning till noon, I was ordered to keep the security in the palace. Tonight will be held a party for the closing and inauguration of this year's conference. Therefore, guard is increasingly tightened to prevent things that are not desirable.

My partner and I communicate with each other remotely over the radio. Blade had already combed the location inside the ballroom that would be used for the party later tonight. Nothing strange was found, although he was blocked by the Paladins of the palace guards. I understood that combing the place was their duty and authority so that if others were to interfere, it would be like walking into people's homes wearing shoes. However, Frey, the second-highest power in Alfheim, allows Blade to inspect the entire room on the grounds that "The comfort and safety of important guests is a priority as a host".

Frey....I wonder what that person's purpose is....His words in yesterday's meeting kept ringing in my head. Is he really the pure-hearted politician I thought he was.or does he have any other intentions? And what's he got to do with Jea-

Back to it. You're a bitch, Hajime.

"Wand! Change place dong! I'm tired of keeping it in the cage!" Whine Muse for the tenth time on the radio.

"Okay," I answered.

"You're good, keep it on the palace walls. Great view. Here I can only see the hohohihe horses. Where's the smell of shit again!"

Regardless of Muse's constant pleading, I enjoyed the view of the entire city of Fraegligr which was clearly visible from the top of the palace walls. Not only does this city look very beautiful to blend with nature, around the city there are also rows of hills and beautiful forest expanses and feel the mystical impression. Plus a giant tree that was in the city park, further adding to the impression that this was really the capital of the Elves' country.

"Come on, I beg-"

I immediately unplugged the headset connection cable to the radio so it did not stop. Elisha laughed looking at my annoyed face.

"Yes, you have a friend like Muse."

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"N-no, no! I just never made friends with a funny guy like Muse."

"That's probably because Muse never cared about his surroundings," After staring at the expression he made, I increasingly understood what kind of girl Elisha was. She seems very lonely and has no friends other than Jeanne. "The three of us already consider you a friend."

"Yes, I know, it's just that I'm jealous of your closeness...." It is also like having a problem that he himself is suffering from. He looks a lot like me....

All I could do was listen to her grievances. "If you have a problem, just tell me. I may not be able to give meaningful input but I can keep it a secret."

The blonde haired girl suddenly hugged me, shocked me and almost fell down.

"Thank you, Wand! You're so nice!"

I hesitantly returned his embrace, even though I felt uneasy being stared at by the other guards. This smile of relief from Elves made me feel satisfied that I had helped others.

I slowly let go of his embrace while reattaching the headset connection cable. "Wand, this is Blade. Quickly go back to the barracks and change clothes. We have the honor of standing guard in the ballroom."

"Solid copy!" I let go of the button, telling Elisha that I was ordered to stand guard inside.

"Good! Happy duty, O green knight~" replied Elisha with a ignorant sneer.

"Shut up...."

*****

The distance from where I was standing was quite far from the barracks. I had to walk through various corridors and places such as the kitchen, dining room, and also the hallway where rooms for guests lined up. Maybe ten minutes walk just up. This place is really spacious, especially the hallways and stairs like a labyrinth. I wonder how they built a palace this complex?

In the front hallway there, I saw Emperor Asthern walking with his 2 aides. One of them was Prince Lucius, the man who yesterday had a heated argument with Frey.

Seeing them heading in the opposite direction with me, I pulled over and gave them a pass first. I also stood firm and put my feet together as a form of respect for the supreme commander of another country.

However, the magically-haired aide of Emperor Octavius looked at me with an offended expression. "How dare you! You don't know who's in front of you?!"

I just fell silent as I returned his gaze, making him even more annoyed.

"How dare you look at me like that and just shut up! You are before His Majesty Emperor Octavius of the Asthern Empire! Why don't you bow down respecting him?" His impact for the umpteenth time, irritated me inwardly.

Without further ado, I immediately bowed my respect to the Emperor. "Thank you my regards, Your Majesty the Emperor."

"Not enough! You've made a mistake, "What does this guy want?! Makes my hands itch to pull out the sword. "Now, get on your knees and apologize!"

"Stop, Brutus! Had enough. Don't cross your limits, "Snapped Emperor Octavius suddenly. His adjutant, who also turned out to be a prince, tried to quibble but the Emperor's eye lotto made him silent.

He then moved the gaze towards me, watching me carefully. "What's your name young man?"

"Hirasawa Kohei, Your Majesty...." Answer me while looking back. My eyes silently glanced towards the Emperor's face.

"Bless your head, young man. Knights who bowed to non-overseers already had no self-respect...." Sahut the Emperor in a half-mocking tone while scratching his beard. He was right, who needed pride on the battlefield? I am not a knight either. I just-I

He chuckled and then whispered in my ear. "....but the look in your eyes impressed me...."

Wh-what? Behind those words, I could see something. Don't-don't..he knows what I'm thinking?!

Just by looking at one's behavior and the gaze of one's eyes, he could guess what kind of person it was. Truly an impressive man, also terrible. I'll have to report this to Blade later. We need to put two more pairs of eyes.

I saw him walking away and calling his two sons. "Come, Lucius, Brutus."

Brutus for the last time glared at me in anger then rushed to follow his father. Lucius meanwhile nodded his pardon before joining his brother and father.

After they disappeared behind the corridor, I again walked towards the barracks.

*****

"Thank you very much, Xen," said I to Xenous who replied with a smile. I asked her for help putting on a uniform for the party later. Unlike the usual knight uniform worn everyday, this uniform looks more luxurious.

The white back robe contained the light blue cross of the Knight St emblem. Whales, armour with various accessories of medallions and ribbons, shiny brown leather belts, and also gloves, thigh protectors, calves, and iron arms containing only striking carvings. Walking in this uniform is quite difficult, one of the reasons is because I don't want anything dirty or scuffed.

It is only fitting that medieval knights needed the help of escorts to wear armor. It turns out to be this complicated. The shoes that I should be wearing should be iron shoes, but I insist on still wearing boots that are commonly used because iron shoes will only make it difficult to run. I was really curious how Jeanne and the others could be so agile with iron boots?

"By the way, you're not coming?" Ask me Xenous while putting a stick and SIG Sauer P220 pistol on my belt. There are regulations that prohibit long swords from being brought into the party room.

"No.I'm sleepy...." Maybe it's better if she's a buffalo girl. It only works tiduuuuur. "Oh yeah, Wand! Good luck in capturing the heart of the Princess~"

Why the hell, everyone is pranking me?

I got up and walked out of the barracks. 

*****

A few minutes walking from the barracks, I finally arrived at the party. I took a breath before stepping in with my right foot first. I was greeted with a magnificent room full of light. The ceiling looked 2 times higher than the usual space. The musicians in front of the room were busy playing music — sounds like the work of Mozart but I also did not know—, while in the middle of the room people dressed in luxury various kinds of talking and dancing.

The super fancy knight uniform I wear —which I think is already 10 times prettier than JGSDF— service clothes is still fairly lowkey when compared to the clothes they wear.

As soon as I entered, I felt dozens of pairs of eyes staring at me. I couldn't clearly hear the conversation between them, but I realized they were talking about me and yesterday's incident when I beat Edward up at the clinic. Even some of the guards passing by in the room looked at me warily, as if I was a potential threat.

Heh. I think I have a reputation, right?

Regardless of their ramblings, I walked towards one of the corners near the banquet table, the position I was standing guard at which was already determined. With my hands behind my back, I scanned around. Blade, who was also wearing a uniform similar to mine, was standing near Princess Tiara who was chatting with Prince Al-Fatih.

The Princess appeared with more striking clothes. The white dress she wore looked very different to the addition of purple and silver gold accessories, as well as a more shiny crown. The prince also wore a golden black robe and turban crown that looked neater and more conspicuous than yesterday. Prince Al-Fatih himself was also escorted by Amir Hasan - who also appeared slightly different and also without carrying his simitar sword. I saw the SAS operator touch his neck, then my headset crackled.

"Blade to Wand, where have you been? Long time."

"GREEN Lead, copy. Over and out!"

I looked back at the whole room. The atmosphere here reminds me of the dance after my graduation from the National Defense Academy. I was also a bodyguard to the Japanese delegation at the UN Conference. Even so, both shows look like children's birthday parties when compared to this.

My eyes were automatically fixed on Frey talking to the other guests on the other side of the room. He smiled amiably while chatting and shaking hands with some guests. Some of the girls - probably the children of the nobles of Alfheim - who were standing not far from the location I was standing shyly watching the prince. With a variety of jewelry, luxurious dresses, and gold-painted nails, their appearance looked even more splashy than everyone present here. They whispered to each other behind a fan covering their mouths, making it very difficult to hear what they were talking about.

Without heeding their small screams as Frey gazed over here, I went back to observing the situation, making sure there was nothing suspicious here.

Near the dance floor, I saw a pink-haired girl standing near Montez.

He still looked jolly and smiling as usual. However, the white dress she wore made her very different. The hair that is usually tied to the ponytail is allowed to decompose with a shimmering silver hair ornament. She looks like a princess. He was even more dazzling than Tiara.

Several young men had invited her to dance, but Jeanne politely declined.

He was seen asking Montez for permission. After the Grandmaster nodded with an anxious face, he ran over while lifting his dress, then stopped near Frey. Jeanne poked the prince's arm, making him return the girl's gaze. The two of them chatted and smiled at each other, making me feel a murderous aura around me.

"That woman, how dare she draw Prince Frey's attention away from us...."

"Yes, the knight of Santa Whales was acting like the king's daughter...."

I chuckled at the grunts of the girls next door who burned the flames of jealousy. The heat is like being able to fry an omelet on it.

Even so, it's a lie that I don't feel the same way as those girls....It felt like my chest was hit so many times, it hurt more than any physical injury I had ever felt.

By the way, either my feelings alone or Jeanne and the young man glanced at me-

Oh! Lieutenant Shinohara Hajime, focus on yourself!

You are no longer an FNG[FNG : Fucking New Guy], let alone a high school boy who just got to know the feeling of liking! You are an SFGp officer, the most elite special forces unit in the Self-Defense Forces! Keep that in mind!

Someone suddenly tapped on my arm protector, made my daydreams scatter and turned to the side, staring at the innocent gaze of a pair of light blue irises. "Let's dance with me, Wand!" Take Jeanne with a big smile.

That innocent smile seemed to hypnotize me, making my hand move grasping that gloved hand. I lowered my head and softly answered his invitation.

"By pleasure, Mademoiselle...." Answer me while enduring the shame. I must have sounded cringy.

Since when do I speak French?!

The girl blushed and smiled amusedly, then slowly she led me to the dance floor.

Following the rhythm of the music, the two of us joined in dancing with the nobles and other guests. I tried to concentrate on not messing up this dance, thinking back to when I danced at the Defense Academy graduation party.

"Look easy, Wand. Don't be too serious, "I just nodded my head, didn't dare to complain or anything other than just allowing my grasp and footsteps to keep him comfortable.

If I could let go of this shitty armor I might have let go. It was heavy and made me unable to move.

"I didn't know you spoke Finian" Jeanne said, distracting me from my movements and looking at the girl in front of me.

"I only know a few words." Answer's simple.

I felt people's gazes pointing at us, making me a little nervous. Some of these were the upset plotters of the young men who were refused to dance by Jeanne. In my heart I felt a little relieved that Jeanne preferred me over them, especially after what happened between us.

I glanced sideways, saw Frey watching us from afar while chatting with the delegation from Volga —or Legionics? He didn't look so busy, why didn't Jeanne ask him to dance? "You didn't ask Frey to dance?"

"Please keep this a secret!" I nodded, signalling him to continue whispering."Actually, Brother Frey is not good at dancing. Besides, he's also a person who's too serious, it's hard to have fun."

Wow, I just found out that the perfect-looking prince seems to have flaws.

"In addition, I also really want to dance with you" She whispered very closely. Too close until I can feel his breath in my ear. The smell of lavender flowers was like a clog and filled my nose. The smile on the pink lips continued to radiate to my face.

Our hands are slowly intertwining ever tighter. "I didn't think your hands were this warm, Wand...."

Damnit. Next time I have to get ready to hear 'temptation' from him so that my heart doesn't jump out because it beats so fast.

All right, it's time, Hajime. The opportunity Xenous said you've found. Time to use it as well as possible. "J-Jeanne, i..."

Dogs! Why could I stutter like that!

I stopped cursing in my heart after Jeanne slowly led me out of the party room. He then let go of his grasp and then pulled my arm and led me through the corridors of the palace, passing through several guards who seemed confused to see us.

We finally reached the back porch of the palace. Right in front of him was a garden containing flowers that bloomed very beautifully at night, illuminated by dozens of fireflies. Jeanne let go of my hand and sat down on the porch stairs. He also told me to sit next to him. I nodded silently and sat nearby leaning on the side of the stairs.

"Wand, I heard from Muse that there's one thing you want to say" Muse? The Shucks are serious.

"Tell me."

Taking a deep breath, I tried to convince myself to tell Jeanne everything. Come on, Hajime Shinohara. Don't be a coward. Man the fuck up!

"Jeanne, I. I'm sorry," Finally, I said it. Go, continue! "I don't mean to insult you in front of everyone...."

It's completed....

It's just like that, isn't it? Why is it so hard for me to say?

Jeanne suddenly fell silent. I did not dare to move my gaze from the ground, let alone to look at his face, seeing what kind of expression he put on.

"I should be the one apologizing," His answer surprised me. I slowly looked at her face, watching her bite those pink lips. He gulped several times, sorting out his words. "I'm not sensitive to your feelings. I arrogantly lectured you without understanding what you were feeling."

"I always felt the most"

"No need to blame yourself. You're not at all wrong" Cut me right away. I can't bear to hear him blaming himself on the whole time. Even though I knew clearly that her way of thinking was the opposite of mine, I didn't want to see that cute face make the exprey hurt.

"I also had to kill that man. I killed him so that Princess Tiara's life would not be threatened. I hope you understand.... "

"I understand. Just relax!" For some reason every time I saw that face smiling, my cheeks and throat were hot. My chest felt tight, like it was filled with water.

This feeling....Could it be that I am interested in this girl?

"W-Wand, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm.I'm fine. Just relax...." God fucking. My voice stuttered back. I tried to block my face with my arms. With a blushing face like this, I didn't have the guts to look directly at her.

I secretly glanced at him. His gaze was fixed on me as if he realized something. He laughed and blocked his lips.

He even laughed. If shame could kill, I might be dead by now. Shucks indeed....

"What's so funny?" I asked with annoyance which was then answered with a plunge.

"No~"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Secret~"

Huh! I've prepared myself if things don't go my way, but I might even laugh.

At least, this means that the problems between us are no longer there. That means I don't have to hesitate anymore to be with her?

Besides, I think that laugh sounds really sweet....

He stopped laughing and silence spread between us. The sounds of insects and the breeze filled the silent night again.

I quietly, glanced at the girl sitting next to me. His eyes were facing upwards, staring at the night sky. His face looks very bright and radiant. He kept looking at the sky with a smile, even though I felt his tears coming down.

"What do you think of those stars?" He asked suddenly. His voice sounded a bit hoarse.

I looked up, staring at the millions of stars up there. I've been here 2 months but I just realized that the night sky in Uressea is very...."Lovely."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it" the girl replied with a small laugh. However, the laughter was only a short while later his tone changed drastically. "Father and mother, they were all there. In the house of God."

I looked back at him in surprise. It turns out my guess is right. He was an orphan, probably because of the war. Why do good people always suffer...?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, I've been telling them for a long time. I forgot about my childhood...."

I stared at the sky there silently, listening to her remember her past.

"I just remember that my father was very protective and spoiled me. You also used to hold me and read me fairy tales every night...." Nodding in understanding, I could only hear him speak without responding.

"But I am very grateful to God" he continued, holding a necklace of white gold crosses hanging from his neck. This is the first time I've seen someone grateful despite being given such a bitter destiny.

"Why?"

"Because I once had parents who loved me so much, even though I can't remember it anymore."

The girl closed her eyes, brought the necklace of the cross closer to her face and held it with two hands. He kept clinging to what he believed.

"I always pray that they will always be happy in heaven and from there look to be strong knights, so that I may face them with pride."

"That's...your wish?"

"Um! Protecting everyone and the land of Beautiful Finia is my duty and desire as a knight. I also very much want the world of God's wonderful creation to continue to be peaceful all the time. I'll be happy to make sure that happens even if I have to lose my life."

He seemed to be sobbing for a while longer but he held everything back. The sad wail he had shown turned into a gaze full of ambition, steadfastly challenging the world. Those pair of blue eyes were gleaming full of light. The smile he had broken was full of optimism.

"It feels so good. If you live a life with great ambition, your life sounds very meaningful...." Sahutku.

The dream he said was impossible, like a child's dream. Conflict and destruction are very inherent in humans. Surviving in a hellish place, seeing rampant cruelty, losing brothers in arms, and feeling the suffering of innocent people have opened my eyes to how rotten the world is.

But when he said it, he felt sure of it...No, this girl is so optimistic that she can make that a reality.

I'm really envious....

"You sound like a suicidal person, Wand," He looked at me in surprise. "We should be thankful that we were born into this world."

Be grateful? For what...?

"What's the matter, Wand?" Ask this girl a little forcefully. He looked me deeply in the eye, insisting on me to talk. "Tell me!"

Should I tell him?

It's personal, I can't tell anyone, but. Just so I don't tell you the name doesn't matter, right?

"The story is quite long....You want to know?"

He nodded his head, impatiently listening to the past that I kept tight. I turned my eyes and began to tell a long story.

"I can't forget that day. I just got back from the graduation ceremony from High School.

When I walked back home, something happened. It had happened unexpectedly like my junior sister Ibuki suddenly expressed her feelings, but I'm sure it wasn't because of that.

I immediately remembered that my father had come home from the field of duty that day. I immediately rushed to run. Nothing can describe the happy expression I made back then...."

I took a deep breath, thinking back to that day. The pain I felt that day.

"However, the pleasure in the heart instantly disappeared after I got home....

The twilight sky omens the sunset on the western horizon, the bare breeze that is not wearing, the living room that is somehow dark, and also the sound of crying mother and sister. I looked at the three people standing in front of them. Father's friend and two aides. While squeezing his beret hat out loud, my dad's best friend told me everything. A joint U. S.-Japanese coalition operation in Northern Syria ended in failure. Six coalition soldiers were killed, one of them was my father...."

I heard him flinch, shocked to hear that. "M-sorry, I-I"

"At that moment, I felt like I was struck by lightning. The throat feels very dry. My legs can't hold my body for long. I can only say "oh, right?" and walk upstairs staggered.

Once in the room, I locked myself and sat on my back against the door. I hugged my knees and tried to hold back my already unstoppable tears."

My hand involuntarily clenched hard. My teeth were bluffing until I let out a hiss. I tried my hardest to hold back my tears.

I could feel a worried look from a pair of blue eyes. "Wand. don't push yourself-"

"When I wanted him to see me graduate from the Defence Academy, then become part of SFGp. I wanted to show that everything he taught me was not in vain at all. Making him see all his harsh upbringing come to fruition.

At that time, I was overcome with sadness and hatred. Grief over the loss of a father and hatred for those who have consumed him....  

Both of those feelings then turned into a sense of revenge. My interpretation of killing those bastards is mounting. I was finally accepted into SFGp, my father's pride unit and continued to train to be the best marksman in the Martial Force."

I glanced at the girl next to me. He just sat quietly listening to my story while looking at me with an anxious and curious expression.

I continued that 'pathetic' story.

"As time went on, the resentment slowly disappeared. All that remains is a feeling of emptiness and a feeling of unease. I'm haunted by nightmares every night. Without me realizing I was addicted to drugs called war. I know nothing has changed with the war but I'm still back. No matter how many lives I took out, how many of my comrades had been killed, I kept wanting to feel the thrill of the battle, inhale the smell of Cordite, and wield a weapon.

I continued down this unclear path, going nowhere to take me even though I realized I could be lost."

I subconsciously held my head, trying my hardest to ignore the shadows and sounds that started to disturb my mind. Like a horror movie cassette that continues to play endlessly. I groaned for a while after the shadow gradually weakened, then ended my story.

"Finally, here I am. In an alien world like in a Fantasy RPG game."

Jeanne could only nod at everything, put her pity and worry on me. In fact, telling a personal story to a non-official colleague is prohibited, the punishment could be imprisonment or gunfire. Moreover, I do not want to be pitied by anyone, but I am relieved to be able to get all my heart out to others that I can trust.

"Sometimes I ask. 'Why am I still here? Just to suffer?' I fell into this hell. There's no way out.... If it wasn't for my mother and brother, maybe I'd have hung myself a long time ago."

I ended my story with a bitter laugh. Laugh at me, my decisions, and my destiny.

"Don't think like that, Wand!" Jeanne exclaimed, making me return her gaze. He pointed his index finger up, telling me things I've known for a long time. "It doesn't matter what kind of suffering we suffer. God will not give trials that His servants cannot overcome."

Everyone said that so easily but there was absolutely no one trying to understand about the person they were talking to. What about those who continue to suffer to the point of losing their sanity and even ending their lives? Does God turn a blind eye to the suffering of His creatures, like those fucking politicians?

I tried to refute all the naive talk from him. "There's no need to comfort me, Jeanne. I-"

"Just do what you think is right, there'll be a way out" he suddenly cut. His two eyes glared at me, like he was advising a child, leaving me momentarily silent. "Never despair!"

"....I'll remember it well."

Do what I think is right, huh? I had forgotten what was right and what was wrong. I saw everything was gray. However, as Jeanne advised, I will do everything according to my command, and according to my premonition.

"Oh yes, I also have one wish.which may be a bit strange," I said with an amused smile, remembering something else that kept me in the Self-Defense Force.

"Hmm? What'sthat?"

I chuckled for a moment and told Jeanne. "I'd love to know what it's like to get shot."

"E-eeeh?!"

"Maybe I'm crazy?"

"L-aaa...." Jeanne replied a little. His eyes were staring at me. He shook his head and pulled and clasped my left hand, looking at me with confidence. "For sure, I won't let that crazy wish come true! I will always protect you!"

I was surprised to hear that statement, then laughed inwardly as it comforted me like it–

No, I'm sure he really didn't break his promise. However, inside me someone told me not to get too close to him. My mission is the most important so that I cannot be attached to another. This pressure can't be contained by a 17-year-old girl.

But one thing is certain. For the first time I can trust someone else completely. I smiled happily, feeling the relief in my chest lift up. I then stood up straight and gave a military salute to him.

"Please help, Captain!"