Cute Girl Beloved Playboy

51 Eps. Fanaya Clarissa's (Rissa) World

Who wouldn't want to have a full family?

Who wants to live on top of people?

My name is Fanaya Clarissa. Living happily with both parents is my dream. Ever since I was a child I have never seen my father. And my mother never thought of me as her child, only my grandmother loved me so much, defended me every night and read me a fairy tale.

Living among people's gossip is very unpleasant. In fact, when I was five almost all the kids my age walked away from me and told me I was a bastard. I was shunned by peers on the charge of unlucky bearer. All I could do was cry and run home, complain to grandma. He always said that I was precious, interspersed with strokes and songs, until I fell asleep and forgot about the unfortunate incident.

Mom was an angel to me even though she was always angry and beat me up when I wanted to hug her. I always looked up to my mom so she would look at me and love me like any other mom out there. I learned to be smart to attract my mother's attention. Efforts do not betray results. When I received my first grade first report, I was ranked first in class.

Running home in happy strides, a smile expands along the rocky path. Hoping to get home will get compliments from mom and get her attention. Again and again everything I worked for was in vain. Mom was angry and snapped.

“Go you son of a bitch!”

What can a five-year-old do? Crying out. That'sallthatis. I don't know how many times the word entered this ear so beautifully that I got used to the words. I'm a fucking kid.

Until I entered Junior High, I only found out that my mother was depressed and I also knew that what the village friends were saying was the fact that I was an illegitimate child. Unwanted children are born into the world. People who can only trouble everyone.

Gunjingan, bullian, all I got. Crying is the only way for the burden to feel less.

“Be patient, dear. God is always with those who are patient.” So said grandma to strengthen this heart when the first bullian I felt.

I just nodded and fell asleep with my grandmother's foot on. My passion for fighting and progressing is not quenched to go to school and become a successful person. I am sure God will bring you happiness someday.

Grandma is an encouragement to me. My place complained and complained about heartache when the bullian in Junior High became more and more. Sad, of course.

I always tried to be the best in school and that was evident with the final graduation assessment of Junior High. I was one of the talented students at my school. Happy that I feel when I become the best graduate from Junior High School.

Coming home from school at that time, I ran while carrying very satisfying learning results with the spirit of coming home. I wanted to go home and tell my grandmother that I was the best graduate.

I came to a reality I could not accept. The house was crowded as I stepped into the grounds. Bi surti, the only really good neighbor to our family, hugged me sobbing. My feet stepped into our little house.

The results of the study I wanted to show my grandmother just fell. Stepping, running then clutching the body that lay weak lifeless. Crying is the only thing I can do. Grandma is gone. The only person I have has left me forever.

I can't take Grandma to the last place. My body cannot walk to accept reality.

Gradually the mother's condition worsened after the grandmother died. Crazy positive mom. My heart is broken to see my mother who was taken by force by a neighbor to a mental hospital. Weak, helpless until I feel like I want to kill myself and go with grandma to nature.

However, as the knife began to scratch the pulse in my arm, I was again stunned by the words of my teacher in the village, 'as bad as the situation should not kill yourself because God will definitely give good after'. The knife fell, the body shook violently feeling tightness in the chest that was increasing until unconsciousness.

Bi Surti took me to the hospital. The doctor said I had a brain tumor and had to have surgery. I do not want to make a burden for Bi Surti, let this soul and body feel pain and die slowly.

Only a loyal reliever accompanies when the pain returns inflamed. My body crumbled against the walls of that fragile room, staring at this deserted house other than myself. Try to strengthen yourself to keep the spirit of the day.

The gossip did not decrease after the grandmother died, it became more and more painful.

“Child carrier shit.”

“Authoric child.”

“Definitely his mother is crazy because of him.”

“Why not just die.”

My eyes were heating up, lips twitching with sobs every time I passed where the mothers in the village gathered. I continued my high school education with my salary at one of the shops not far from home.

Until the figure of a very good woman approached the house and took me away from the village to the city. From him I know all about the self. Who's the father, who's the mother, who's he. I felt ashamed because I was the cause of his broken home but he was still good to me.

The mother was transferred to a mental hospital in the city whose treatment was better than a village mental hospital. From that woman I knew that mother was her best friend so she was kind to me. But his heart still wasn't good for him.

Name Ayu. The woman who had taken me to the city and found a new family.

Early to his house, his son who did not accept me at home but Aunt Ayu still persuaded his son.

Refan my brother's name or can be called our father but not one mother. The man was still not willing to accept me and all I could do was to quietly listen to Aunt Ayu who persuaded her son that I be allowed to live in that luxurious house.

Until two teenage figures wearing high school uniforms enter the house, the two-man showdown stops. I fell silent, staring at the two figures who looked like they had just returned from that school. The only woman, very beautiful in my opinion, her face is cute and her skin is pure white different from me who is yellow. He greeted Aunt Ayu and smiled adding a beautiful impression on her face before stepping up the stairs. I can confirm at that time that he was the son of Aunt Ayu which means my brother too.

“Grandmother ” men in high school uniform also greet the hands of Grandma Ayu.

He stepped on the chair and sat on the seat to my right. He smiles.

For a moment I was silent looking at her smile that showed dimples, making her look sweet.

“Reno,” he said as he offered a hand to me.

“Clarissa.” At that moment I knew something, that I was beginning to marvel at him, his smile, his broom, all.

Until he left I was still staring at him. Ayu's grandmother explained that she was her daughter's lover. Brother Ara At that time I realized and tried to behave accordingly.

I was so happy when Grandma Ayu's daughter accepted me so gladly. Even if I have amnesia. I thought at that time, would he still accept me if he knew that I was the cause of his parents' absence.

Brother Ara, he remained kind to me until one day I felt his gaze change on me. He was cynical, did not answer my greetings again, did not smile anymore at me, even looked indifferent if we were at odds on the road at home. My heart was starting to break. Did he already know that I was the cause of his family's destruction? That keeps going through my brain.

It was all revealed that he had found out when two male figures came to the house. That's my dad and sister Ara . Guilt again covers the mind and body when you see the cries of the two sons of the family. I felt contemptible in their midst even though my real father was there. It remains that I am the destroyer of their happiness.

Grandma Ayu whom I called the mother was angry at her granddaughter when this self was called a bitch. I knew it was just a form of friendship between her and her grandmother. No friend can hear his friend insulted.

At that time Ayu's grandmother explained everything that happened by taking all family members to the mental hospital where the mother was treated. My heart ached again when my mother had not accepted this self even the words I had not heard for a long time had flowed back from my lips. The pain, of course, was not from the slap or the rudeness of the mother but about her inner self which I felt was deeply tormented by my presence in the world. I'm sorry .. mother. Because I have your life to suffer.

Slowly my brothers began to accept me including Brother Rosa. The pain I was suffering from was still unknown to my new family. I'm silent about not telling you because I don't want to be a burden to anyone else. I was a burden on my grandmother. The old lady .. I miss. How you doing, Grandma? Your granddaughter is so longing. May God give you heaven.

The day continues. Until that day, I fainted right in front of Reno. This heart is anchored but it will never be mine. Quite in silence I love and miss. Although it hurts but that's the most appropriate at the moment. I know his love is only for my brother. Brother Ara Let this taste I bring myself to death.

At that time I begged him not to tell me about the illness I had suffered to family members. I thought everyone wouldn't know about my illness, it turned out wrong, mom and dad knew when they saw the drugs I was using for relief.

From then on they paid more attention to me and forgot the attention to their other daughter. I know what my sister and grandmother did was not a form of hate on her grandson, Ara, they just pity this self. Trying to give pleasure to this mind. Giving comfort to this soul who will soon meet its end. Well, death because of the disease I suffered can no longer be cured. Just waiting for the time when the angel of death will come to pick you up.

For the rest of my life, does God not want to give me happiness? Not that I'm not grateful for having such a perfect family. It's just that seeing someone we love with someone else is painful. My mind started to get selfish back then, I wanted to get his attention. Get the attention of people I love. She, my brother's own lover. Can I be selfish for a moment? I'm sorry, Brother Ara .

Understand for the last wish in this life.

That morning my selfishness began to happen. I stared wryly at Brother Ara's watery eyes when I was piggybacked by Brother Reno. I'm sorry, Brother. It's not Reno's fault, but my selfishness. Believe me, I just want time with the people I love. Only time, not love. Because I know his love is only for you, brother. He'll come back to you.

Perhaps, misunderstanding was the right word for those two hearts. But, this time, this second, I will put an end to this selfishness, I will restore your day to the way it was. Before you came into the world. As should be the case, without this self, without any divorce between mother and father, without a disappointed heart when this self loves the figure you already have, sister.

Like my name, Fanaya Clarissa. Mortal which means temporary, that I am only temporary and fleeting in the story of the two of them. Reno and Ara

O my friends.

Lebay😄

As you read in this part. If only misunderstandings had occurred.

Sorry this self started ngadi 😅

Ok?👍

Infinite thanks to the reader:)

Although you do not give a thumbs up for me😅Tetaplah stop even though the story' is indeed tone-rada is not clear.

Pork!