CHASING THE PEARL OF HEAVEN

#55

Bismilbornrah Maanirrahiim

Allahumma Shalli'alaa Sayyidina Muhammad

Wa'ala Alihii Sayyidina Muhammad

Azam sat down and arrived at his bed, with hunting breath and endless sweat. The wind hit his face, waking up if the window of the room opened. Eve night in the boarding house of Ashabul Kahfi brings the rest of the rainwater that flushes the earth out there. Splashing the window sills, the two glasses collided with each other due to the strong wind.

"Astagfirulah..."

Azam rubbed his wet face, spitting three times as a gesture to his bedside. Then she leaned back on the bed and began to normalize her heartbeat.

"That dream again"

No, it wasn't a dream.

Is not a dream that always presents a visualization of a series of events for those who experience it? But Azam did not experience it, there was nothing in his head. Only endless darkness, then asphyxiation attacked him. Azam would shout - shout at everyone to help him, help him not to fall. Silly, didn't he just see the dark? Why should I be afraid? But the dark veil has a base, proven throughout his body pain and fishy bleeding - blood. Azam was left alone to receive those seconds of torture.

It all started from the incident that happened to him when he was about 16 years old told by his parents, Abi and Uminya. They said that Azam had an accident while taking the boarding school books at the sub-district office. It was just that, and when Azam asked again how next they were only silent a thousand languages. Told him to rest, so strange was his life.

Azam doesn't remember anything about him. Not for his childhood or not for the unfamiliar face of Abi and uminya. He even knew his name from Sulaiman's uncle. And one - one that is remembered from the doctor's uncle is kindness and care in a simple hospital. They all said that Azam had nothing to worry about, everything would go well.

But Azam was never good. Never good, always sick and angry. Unless he takes the water of the wudlu and reads the Qur'an. Ashabul Kahfi might be the best place for him. It's okay, Azam trusts them. Those who say everything will be fine.

...****************...

"Bless to be honest with him, Halimah. No matter what the disease, a truth you can't hide"

Abdurrahman Lathif stood beside the window of his house, set in the sound of Halimah's sad cry that slumped at the feet of her husband.

"For too long we kept this from him, the more I saw him grow up with so many questions in his mind the more I wanted to uncover them all"

Kiyai Lathif bluntly made Halimah's cry even more unstoppable.

Kiyai Lathif took a deep breath.

"What gives healing is the distrust of God, we are only mediators who are given the opportunity to take care of it".

Halimah shook her head small, knowing her husband's decision as absolute.

"Didn't Abi love her? Umi was really afraid if he lost Azam. For years - years he was under Umi's supervision, where was there a mother who could bear to see her son destroyed?"

Kiyai Lathir turned to look at his wife, misunderstanding Halimah.

"Nobody wants to destroy him Halimah! Not me or you. I just want to see him peacefully living this life. Now I'm asking you, don't you feel sorry to see him in pain all night while everyone else sleeps?"

"What makes it different? Umi thought that Abi's actions would aggravate the situation. His head could be hit by a dangerous attack like Sulaiman said!"

Halimah insisted on how much she loved her son.

"Umi was obviously concerned about observing her condition every night, never before had she seen such a sick person. Soul wounded. But Bi, in a moment he will face his Tahfiznya test, do not abi remove the verses of the Qur'an that have been embedded in him"

Kiyai Lathif is seen weighing Halimah's words.

Halimah rubbed her husband's shoulder.

"Now let us forget this discussion, Abi. Let Azam start his new life, let him know his biological parents are just us. It's just us".

"And let me live a lie"

Khairul Azam appeared suddenly - arriving from the hallway of the house, looking expressionlessly at his two stricken parents in shock. His usual cornflower eyes reflected a courteous yawn, replaced by a deep disappointment. Azam was so injured when he heard it, it continued to settle in his hearing.

"Gus, it's not like that!"

Halimah stepped up but Azam stopped by gesturing to her hand. Azam rubbed his face, feeling his headache recur even more intense than usual.

Smiling bitterly, yet lightning eyes filled with anger at Halimah and Kiyai Lathif.

"I didn't expect, it turns out that I'm just a stupid goat that's been matched by a continuous lie"

"Azam!!!"

Kiyai Lathif's voice rose, warning.

"There's no need to be angry Abi, I should have the right to be angry at the selfishness of both of you!"

Halima attacked her son, shaking him repeatedly at Azam's accusation.

"Oh my God, we even thought of you Gus. For your own good".

Azam raised an eyebrow, putting the yellow book that had been in his arms on Kiyai Lathif's bookshelf.

"I live in a good place, but nothing good comes to me! You live in a good place, but never really teach me kindness. You call that a favor to me?"

"Khairul Azam, watch your words!"

The blaring sound was never expected to come out of Kiyai Lathif's mouth. The patient man was as angry as his son, just as disappointed.

"Speak respectfully to your Umi, don't raise your voice before her!"

Azam took off his black skullcap, unconsciously releasing his kindness one by one.

"immies? Didn't you say let me consider you my biological parents? But it's not, it's a lie!"

Azam closed his eyes, opened them again and got angry.

"What else do I need to know? Tell me! All! I'm having a mental breakdown? And you guys went along to experience it by hiding the truth from me?"

"Excess!!!"

"O Allah, Abi!!"

The sting of pain from a slap does not reduce the pain of his head.

"Someone who has a mental disorder needs the guidance of Mr. Kiyai, not closed down"

Halimah ran forward, stroking Azam's slapped cheek.

"No Gus, you're not experiencing anything like you say. You're healthy wal afiyah son, very healthy"

Azam took a step back, took a step back.

"Thank you Mr. Kiyai for this valuable lesson!"

Azam took off Halima's hand which was on her face, looking for a moment before taking a quick step and passing.

Halimah wept at Azam's hand and begged him not to leave the house. No matter how she called, Azam would not look back.

"Abi, please don't let him go! Azam__Gus Azam!!!"

In the blink of an eye everything seemed to disappear in the name of pain. In that instant, Azam swore that he would not be in synergy with the teachings of God. God has left him without a trace that he will trace in the future. Now it is time for him to leave.

He will no longer ask or beg, because he knows that everything he does only ends up sick, angry and in vain.

How could they possibly hide that from her???

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