BLACK PEARL'S
CHAPTER 45
...بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم...
...Keep making the Qur'an the main reading, buddy.....
...Happy reading...
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Hannaku has been silent since we got home from his graduation. I took her hand and carried it into my grasp and squeezed it gently making her look at me, her eyes pretty cute looking at me.
He had gone through his days trying to forget the incident.3 days since staying in the penthouse and bringing in a psychiatrist to help him eliminate the trauma, I was also always there to accompany Hanna to seek treatment. Even he himself asked for it because he did not want to drag on in things he should never remember.
The doctor was also amazed at Hanna being quick at this. Usually someone who experiences violence and forced sexual harassment will last 1 week at the earliest and the length can also be 1 month or more. Although not fully healed yet, Hanna's efforts deserve thumbs up.
... ‘Verily Allah will not change the fate of a people until they change themselves’(QS AR-RAD:11)...
If we stuck with the pain then the pain would continue to shackle in the dark prison that keeps us in place. If we try to heal or get out of the pain. We will not be trapped there and will find great happiness without our guess. So we just have to choose silence and leave it or treat’
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“What's up? I asked gently, Hanna looked at me in trying to pull me into her eyes, trying to pull me through what she felt in her heart. I began to understand about the anxiety and longing that emanated there, he missed someone who contributed to his life meaning in his life before there was me. I took a breath and then came back.
“you see grandpa?” I asked him to look at me doubtfully, why? Askiniku.
“can you?” tanyakanya.
“of course can.” Answer quickly, then turn your eyes forward. “ take us to the area of the common eater in the village XS!” tell the driver. Daniel didn't come with us because there was work at the office. Suddenly he hugged me quite tightly with his head looking up at me.
“thank you..”
“heum..” murmured me, I was enjoying his embrace.
Upon our arrival at the public funeral, Hanna and I sat crouched down in front of a mound of dirt, letting Hanna quietly stare at her grandfather's house. Until he finally opened his voice.
“assalamu’alaikum grandfather.Today Hanna has passed the kulihanya tablets.. Hanna has managed to achieve our dreams, even though grandfather is no longer here. Hanna wasn't lonely because Grandpa had married me suddenly in the hospital at that time, with the greatest man.” he said joking although his tears did not lie if he missed and was also sad.
He continued to say for some reason and was finally done, with him giving three flower stalks from the two bouquets he received. And she left first, and I still stared at her headstone in silence, reminding me of the conversation we had together in the hospital.
‘what made you choose me?” Alardo asked coldly.
‘karna I'm sure you're a good person deep in your heart who is now nesting a pitch black pearl.” Say grandpa. “ anyway I know who you are” continued ambiguous grandfather to make Alardo confused.
“means?”
“no intent!”
“if it turns out I hurt your grandson and make him suffer with me how?” tanyanya tried to disturb the confidence of the grandfather.
‘I even worry that the safety of your heart will he waver, your arrogance and arrogance will he tear down. And you who can't show your taste will slowly be tormented because you can't deny it. I'm worried about you!” he said joking despite the seriousness in his eyes.
‘will not!’ rebuttals
‘look at it later. Whether the victorious ego or the broken emotion melts without you noticing. Remember above the sky there is still the sky, son, if you walk up you will fall, if you are too down you will hit the person in front of you.
And this world needs a balance like the ego and the emotions of the heart must be balanced so that we are able to walk in the midst of it, the existence of bad people so that good people exist and vice versa. You're so hard-hearted that I give you a soft-hearted friend because you've gone too far with empty wishful thinking and your ego is too high to fly until you forget if you're climbing the ground instead of flying.” Evidently. Making Alardo speechless, he immediately got up and gave the decision, he will prove himself about it later.
Recalling that I looked at Hanna who was silently staring at me with narrowed eyes. Makes me throw away the sight of not wanting him to read my mind through his eyes.
I chose silence and chuckled at the innuendo. I am tired of my emotions today. Where I lay my head on his lap. One of my favorites to enjoy the beauty of my hair makes me comfortable.
‘I started losing, and grandfather was right.Your grandson was able to melt my heart and drain my sky-high ego made me realize I was nothing compared to him. My inner being while looking at her deep was also looking at me strangely. I chose to drown my flattened stomach.
“aku lost!” my words were muffled by her but still heard by Hanna, she stopped rubbing and looked at me, I know even though I didn't see her because my face was still sinking in her stomach.
“lose what? Play the same game with Daniel?” the question, makes me smile.
“I lose and choose to obey my feelings that I do not know what they mean.I lose to you, I should have kept you away but instead let you just enter the space of my heart and be near me.” I said honestly with our eyes looking at each other. Dive into each other's feelings, his eyes sparkling.
“that means brother loves me?” asked, I don't know if I still feel it I don't want to quickly conclude.
"maybe, but as long as you know.I don't want you to be away from me, and most importantly I love you more than I love myself. And it's true I've lost to you” I said. Making him look at me in disbelief, his eyes were teary but not sadness there.
“ini kambet what yes Mr. Husband really sweet really yes his words today.” ledeknya, he chuckles when I'm reluctant to hear the tearing by mendusel-dusel stomach and he's keenness..
“geli ih.. sister.!” he begged me to stop and I stopped.
“see me!” he and I obey.
She covered both of my cheeks with this tiny, tender hand. His hands that were once quite rough but this time were soft. Maybe because he used to like to work hard like seizing his back garden helping grandfather or washing clothes by hand.
“no one loses or wins in a feeling because this is not a game that we have to finish and win. It is not a fight we have to win. This is a sense in which the feeling is the nature of the almighty. Not our power, we can only choose and hold. Brother happy with me? Big brother happily loves me?” tanyakanya. I'm quick-assed. Of course I'm happy.
“nah happiness is a victory where we are able to defeat sadness by presenting happiness. We lose if we continue to be sad and wail without trying to bring happiness. We lose if we don't want to change our fate for the better. If you are happy with me, it means we both win because of what. My brother is happy with me and I am happy with my sister. I just want to compromise with big brother want?” obviously with serious questions.
“apa?” tanyakanya.
“always maintain communication even if one day we quarrel or there is a difference of understanding. Stay in one room even if you don't talk to each other. And it does not linger with the problem and must be resolved immediately and must not be more than a day, as great as any storm will shake the foundation we just built, he said, therefore let's work together to make a solid foundation with faith and love each other because of God.” he said, his hands covered both my hands. I woke up from my bed, looking at her in amazement at her adult thinking. Think about what is going to happen and how to deal with it. I carried him in my arms.
“my wife sipasih this.” gumamku guma.
“wife lord es wall” candles.
“mau compromise?” tanyakanya.
“of course. Let's work together in building this relationship” said seriously. Our eyes were locked, and somehow my face was close to his.
Her tiny, natural-red lips that had just uttered words that amazed me. Until somehow since when our position changed and lay on the sofa bed and I was on it. His hunting breath sniffed voracious oxygen after the thing that happened. I want to start but I'm afraid he's still traumatized. I gently rubbed his cheeks that were flushed as usual if we were close like this in terms of “itu”.
“if not ready to say. I don't want to flush your wound that you're trying to heal.” I said, he was still silent before he finally kissed me first, a thing he never did before.
“if I hurt you and your wounds reopen, ask me to stop!” I said, he shook his head.
“do..!” and after he whispered in my ear made my heart thump quickly, flowery with what he said. And you don't need to know just let it be my secret, he and God do. I whispered softly in his ear without him noticing, praying before starting everything.
Hope this brings us blessing. And ask forgiveness for what we have done without the intention of worshiping him because at that time his direction had not come to me. Even Hanna doesn't know that I love my rabb again.love my god who wants to give a chance to a sinner and dirty like me. Even as I was doing the night prayer, I got up first and fell asleep before Hanna got up to do her night prayer.
...TBS...
...Jazakumullah khair beloved friend...
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...Cannonswered... And may we all always be in the protection of the blessings and health of Aamiin....
^^^With love^^^
^^By skybright^^^
