Anila For Anala

CHAPTER 42 - ACCEPTANCE

An old house painted in colour. School Quran Toddler or Sekuba stands for it. Weekends like this school holidays, so maximized the benefits of the building for other activities. Like today, Emotional Therapy with the Qur'an that Anila will follow.

"Alhamdulillah Anila Tea is in Bandung. So you can join," said the woman with a wide headscarf sticking out covering her chest. He was called Ummi, wife of Ustaz Rahmat who welcomed Anila's arrival.

"Yes, Mi. Coincidentally I had taken my leave early," explained Anila who looked beautiful in an army green toad suit and a white shirt, plus a wide belt accent in matching color with the culott. The belt that made Anila's slender waistline stand out. Not to forget the army green rectangular veil tied around the neck, perfecting the appearance of a stylish Muslim woman.

"Alhamdulillah. God willing, there will be four other participants. Qodarullah is all female. So, later Ummi will accompany Abi, so as not to kagok," said Ummi while directing Anila towards a room located at the very back of the building.

There was no one in the room. Anila got used to being on time. Arriving early has become a ritual that does not need to be privileged.

Ummi had left her alone in a classroom. Anila went around looking at some of the photos. Seen a picture of a toothless child because caries display a cheerful face until his eyes are almost closed. There is also a child with a face covered in paint with pride showing the results of his work. Anila watched one after another those happy full faces. Unknowingly, a smile joined them, as if carried away in the image.

"Assalamu'alaikum" said a foreign woman whom Anila had never seen. If true Anila's guess, must be one of the Emotion Therapy participants as well.

The woman's appearance was so graceful that a long headscarf covered her upper body up to her wrists. Do women still need emotional therapy? Anila asked in her heart. Ah, no need to be kepo. Everyone must have problems. Anila also greeted as necessary.

Six pads as a seating pad form a semicircle with a table on each. Five of them were for participants, and one for Ummi as a companion. Ustaz Rahmat is right in the center of the semicircle.

"The Quran is asy syifa, the medicine. As stated in the Quran the letter of Jonah verse 57. The Quran is a cure for the disease that is in shadr–dada." Ustaz Rahmat initiated therapy.

Anila still remembered the material about the heart that Ustaz Rahmat had delivered. Shadr or chest or outer layer of the heart is a place of pleasure, sadness, lust, emotion, wishful thinking. So Anila drew the conclusion that this therapy is nothing but to clear her shadr in order to tend to good things. Anila steady did not misstep this time, because this was what she needed. Eliminating his emotions at Ranala.

Before starting more deeply, Ustaz Rahmat asked participants to take out a stationery and write the name of the person who had made the wound along with the bad things he had done. He gave time by playing a musical instrument slowly.

Anila glanced to the right and to the left, peeking and asking inwardly, why can all be so fluent in writing about her emotions? While he just stared blankly at the white paper before him by tightly grasping the stationery in his hand. Anila was truly unable to even just write it down was already extremely painful.

Unknowingly Anila, Ummi was already beside her. Clutching the vibrating back restrained the emotions.

"Slow down. Don't rush. Give yourself time to be ready to do it," Ummi's instructions while rubbing Anila's back. "Pull deep breath, bismillah, Laa Haula wala quwata illa billah. Say it over and over until it's ready, yuk. Bismillah, Laa Haula wala quwata illa billah," repeated Ummi leading Anila.

Until Anila's heartbeat becomes normal, and has the power to write down three names. Ranala, Viona, and Mami. Just now that the name was written, his sight blurred. Drop by drop soaked the white paper that the three names had just written down.

"Steak can." Ummi again reassured Anila, and made Anila's view again clear to continue his writing.

Ranala, has cheated, lied, and married me without basis of love.

Viona, being the woman who disturbed my household

Finally Anila managed to write it, although the paper was almost hollow because of the pressure Anila put on each of her words. But there was relief afterwards.

"Alhamdulillah," thankfully Ummi saw Anila managed to defeat reluctantly in herself.

"Next, please put your palm on the side." Ustaz Rahmat held his own chest. "Holding each shadr, the place where emotions dwell themselves. Then say, I forgive, say his name, for his deeds, mention his deeds," lead Ustaz Grace.

Anila looked at Ummi who was looking at her as well. It was as if Ummi heard his thoughts to be strengthened again. Ummi again approached Anila and rubbed her back as if giving strength. Anila sobbed when she had to mention a name–Viona. For some reason, his tongue was clumsy, stiff, unable to continue despite just reading.

"I can't, Ummi. I haven't forgiven him. I can't lie." Anila complained softly in Ummi's ear.

"Tell me, though the heart is not yet capable. When we have said, our mind will command all organs of the body to do what we have confirmed. Say it over and over until you feel relieved."

Anila nodded her head in understanding Ummi's instructions. Not smoothly, but Anila tried to spell every syllable. The first time Anila took more than 5 minutes to finish reading the three sentences she made. The second time faster and lighter until the umpteenth time, Anila did not remember, she was like reading ordinary writing without meaning. Fast and light weight without load. It was as if something weighing on him had been taken away.

"God is more relieved, huh?" ask Ustaz Rahmat who answered the nod of all participants. Some of them still wipe away the trail of tears on their cheeks. Some already looked stronger and stronger despite swollen eyes, like Anila. "That's it, shadr's disease. When we leave the disease, life will feel lighter."

"Now, we take wudu. We both pray repentance in further prayer hajat. Why pray repentance? Because all the bad things that happen to us are not separated from the sins of the past that we do not know. Please." Ustaz Rahmat let all participants take wudu and perform two rakaat prayers. After that, mention the mistakes we have made.

"O Allah, forgive me for not learning Your knowledge, forgive me for not doing Your law, and for rejecting Your truth under all the pretense of the justification of my mind." Anila continued to mention the various mistakes she remembered. Of course not all, because the unconscious is certainly more. "I beg you to forgive me for the mistake I realized or didn't." Anila ended the prayer after the prayer of repentance.

The five participants were already holding their respective mushafs in hand. After the hajat prayer they were asked to ask for instructions through the Quran. Seek God's counsel through His Word.

One by one they were asked to open the mushaf with their eyes closed, then point to the verse. After that, participants were asked to open their eyes and read the verse along with its meaning. Until Anila's turn.

Anila pleaded heartily, gathering complete confidence in what she was about to do. Many times Anila opened, closed again, and repeated her request. Until at one point, Anila felt so confident in what she opened and appointed.

"Please read, Tea," pinta Ustaz Rahmat.

"Sura An-Nur verse 22," Anila pauses before reciting the meaning of the verse. "That is, If you declare a virtue, conceal it, or forgive a wrong (others), then surely Allah is Most Forgiving, All-Powerful." Anila looked questioningly at Ustaz Rahmat and Ummi alternately. He still did not understand the meaning he was reading.

As if understanding the meaning of the gaze, Ustaz Rahmat added. "Mertained by the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad narrated by Ath-Thabrani which means, Whoever forgives when he is able to retaliate, then Allah will give him forgiveness on the day of trouble." Ustaz Rahmat returned Anila's astonished face with a soothing smile.

"Life is not forever. There are limits, there is an end. Just like being sad, pain has an end. If you are sad, remember your final goal. Continue to improve our relationship with God, so God will improve our relationship with humans. Do only what makes God happy." Ustaz Rahmat ended the meeting.

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