About Dad, Love, And His Friends
The Long Debate
"Am I Bun's bastard?" Mother looked at me and scrunched her forehead as if guessing the direction of my question.
"Actar my son, predicate as an illegitimate child does not deserve to be pinned to a child." Mother began to argue.
"Every child who is born into this world is pure, cleansed of blemishes and sins.None child brings sin from his mother's womb."
"So the illegitimate child is just a term.Actually the illegitimate is the act of two parents" explained Mother as a teacher who explained religious lessons to her students.
Well, Mother is indeed an ASN (State Civil Apparatus).Mother of a teacher, the teaching staff is one of the favorite high schools in this city.
"So I was born from a legitimate marriage Bun?"cecarku made the look of Mother's face change instantly.
Perhaps Mother has guessed the direction and purpose of my conversation.
"Mother does not understand ...."
I know Mother is pretending.
"Mother understand!" With a slightly elevated tone, I cut the sentence before Mother finished it.Lately indeed me and Mommy often argue with the same topic, about father.
Since childhood I have been taught Mother hates the father.The provocative words that Mother deliberately throws make the seeds of hatred flourish in my heart so that it bears vengeance.
But behind it, every time he saw the child his father led when walking, there was envy in my heart.Even when he saw a child scolded by his father, too,for some reason there is a desire to feel it.Because of the anger of a father against a child, is another form of affection that is not fully understood by the child.
As time rolled on, critical attitudes also grew with my age.Various questions about the father filled my mind.That questions are always the beginning of my debate with Mother.
"Mother understands what I mean, right?" As usual I started this debate with a sentence ask.Entah how many times have I and Mother argued about this, I forgot to count it.Even lately it is getting more intense, because almost every time and opportunity, because there is a,I always start.
I know you're trying to avoid him, but I'll never stop before I know who the real father is.
Besides the name, there is nothing I know about the father.The face and his personality Mother wrap into a secret that I should not know.
One day I went into your room when you forgot to lock it. I was looking for something that could be used as a clue to know the father and his whereabouts.
But unfortunately my efforts were in vain.I found nothing but a photo album of memories stored in the closet.
I opened the sheet for the photo album while hoping there was a picture of my father tucked in there.
The outcome? I'm disappointed.
Strange indeed, the photo album that is thicker than the thickness of the holy book is only filled with photos of two beautiful girls.One of which I can make sure photo mother, and the other one may be her best friend.
There is not a single person in the thick photo album who is male.The dating moments, the, even the moment of marriage that is so sacred nothing is immortalized and stored in the photo album.Perhaps there, but deliberately eliminated.
"If I were born from a legitimate marriage relationship, there should be someone who would be your companion whom I can call father."
Mother is silent, not giving a response.
"Why the hell Bun, every time you ask about your father like an allergy?"
"Actar! Can we not talk about this anymore?"pinta Mommy.Maybe Mother feels tired of answering questions that sometimes corner her.
"Why Bun? Is a child wrong to ask about his father?"
Mother was downcast, the clear rubbles lingering in the corner of her eyes.
No doubt my heart is filled.Because honestly, deep down in the heart of the deepest, I really love mother.Mother is a woman who I respect so much, a woman who makes me feel grateful to have a loving mother like Mother.
Even so, I am proud to be born from her womb, the womb of a strong woman.Mother willing to spend the rest of her life with single parent status, to raise and make me happy.
Mother parted with father at a relatively young age.Karirnya as ASN supported by an attractive face, of course many men who hope to get his love.But all Mother refused with one reason, want to focus on raising me.
"Bun please! Please tell me who my father is and where he is?"I asked in a soft voice while hugging his shoulder.
"How many times have you said there's nothing you need to know about your father." replied the mother with emotion while taking my hand off her shoulder.
"Your father is not a good priest and role model to you!"continued Mother with tears that are not unstoppable anymore.
In the middle or at the end of the debate, Mother usually has no power to hold back her tears, always so.But I feel there is something that Mother hid with her cries, something that Mother wrapped with tears.
"Is there not a single dot of fatherly kindness that Mother can love to know so I can feel proud as her child?"my many.
"Nothing!"answer Mother briefly with tears that are getting broken.
"Then why can you marry a human like that?"askaku mencar Mommy.
"Fault!"ketus Mommy is still with tears.
"Error?"I repeat imitating Mother's words."That means I was born out of a mistake, Bun?"
Mother was speechless, feeling cornered by my question.Mother felt stuck with her own words.
"Jawab Bun!"I continued fiercely.
"Enough ... !"answered Mother half-cried.
"No Bun!"my toilet.
Mother stood up from her seat, then stepped foot into her room.
"Yes...?"call me.
Mother continued to step and ignored him.
"Bun, I'll never stop asking you about this until I know who the real father is?" Mother stopped her steps for a moment and turned her body to face me.
"Mother doesn't want to talk about this anymore, put it down!"firmly Mother while turning her body.
"No Bun! I'll keep looking for dad.Whatever he is, he's still my dad.The father inside my body is flowing his blood!"
Mother looked at me with anger before she entered her room.
I still had time to see Mother wipe away the tears before the woman I respected closed the door to her room.
Forgive me mother!
***
After gathering and gathering various information, I finally decided to meet Mr. Asrul, because almost everyone I asked, who I thought knew about father, directed me to meet the owner of that name.
Mr Asrul? Who is the real owner of this name? What's Dad got to do with him?
Seriate...
