Your Love Thin Paper

7. Girl No Virgin

I don't feel at home for long at Deni's parents' house. I immediately invited him to see my family.

"Father agree that you're married. But you can't finance your wedding. Ask your sisters for help."

Such is my father, always hands off on the affairs of his children. Then I met Hari. He seems to have no respect for Deni. Yes obviously. He was used to being in the staff environment. Looking at the seedy, dull Deni and his speech that Kromo Inggil could not speak and was ethically arranged, making my eldest brother lazy to talk to him for a long time. He told me to go see Rudi.

My second brother also had less respect for seeing Deni's sighting. But rather than me being a spinster, it might be a good idea to get married. So said.

As for my sister, she seems to dislike Deni. But how else, I've accepted her marriage invitation.

"Just meet the family on the mountain. Ask your heritage. You can make the cost of marriage." That's my brother's advice.

By borrowing his motorbike, Deni hugged me to meet my father's sister in a hill village.

"What legacy is it? All has been asked by your father."

Bulikku delivered the news that embarrassed me in front of Deni.

I finally got home. Deni went back to his house, while I hitchhiked the night at my sister's house.

Within a few days, the mail business was done. We can also marry only with ijab qobul and inter-family and neighbor. From Deni's side, only his parents came.

I don't take a headache about all that. After all, I don't live in their house. Oh yes, the cost of the salvation was finally a joint venture between my father and my brothers.

The first night I did not go through at my father's house, my mother or my father-in-law's house, because it was not comfortable it felt so in people's homes.

After getting the economy class train tickets, we headed to Bandung again without the release of a blue farewell. The bland and flat I felt.

Time shows at 10:00. The line of iron carriages arrived at Cimindi station. I went home to my boarding house, while Deni went to his own rental room to pick up his things and moved to my place.

I have no problem with his decision. After all, his boarding room was in a slum neighborhood. So, I let him stay at my place.

At night, he arrived at my rent. At midnight, he asked for his right.

'Oh God. I fear. I've never been that way.'

But because he was already legitimate as a husband, I just resigned to give my body. My soul drifts to Batam.

'Ah, if you had touched me, how I would have felt what people say is the heaven of the world.'

I don't feel the vibrations like I did when I was with Syahputra. He did what he wanted. I take a shower without kissing, *****, moans or rubs my hands on her skin. He works alone. And when the stick broke my net, it hurt, it dried, it hurt and it hurt so much.

I shook with the pain and gripped the bed sheet on my thin mattress. After reaching his release, he drooped down on me for a while, then rolled beside me.

I was silent and did not dare to move. Only tears kept melting on my cheeks without a sound.

'It hurts, my God.' I wail in my heart.

Kosanku is close to the village mosque. When I heard the dawn prayer, I woke him up to pray, but he refused. I asked him to return to serve her.

But he threatened.

"Freely pray, if I ndak ridho, your worship will not be accepted. What is prayer for? You are dirty. You trickster. You are not a virgin. Look bedspread. Is there a blood stain in there?"

I gasped at her words - her bad words. Soon I'm shifting.

"Ow.yes Lord. It hurts so much." I bit my lips and shed tears.

"Whoa. Do not have to play a show. Ndak virgin yes ndak virgin. Don't act sad."

I saw the old bed sheet p*nt*tku.

"Say you're pinter? Can't tell the difference between a veil that has never been torn the same that has been completely perforated? I have never committed adultery with anyone. I tell you, I'm still a girl. Believe it or not, it is up to you. Divorced, I have no problem. Even if I get pregnant after this, I can live without you."

"Godly, at most you whine - whine holds me accountable."

Confidently he denied my words.

I shuffled and stood towards the bathroom. I cleaned myself up and changed clothes. Floor soon I mop. After that, then I will honor the God who has given me life all this time.

I turned on the stove to make egg omelet and onion sauce. Whether he wants to eat or not, I don't care.

A month passed, I felt an overwhelming nausea. I am not strong enough to wake up. At first I was allowed to get sick. But after 2 days, my condition got worse, I asked him to take me to the doctor. And the results surprised me. I pregnant.

Anti-nausea medications do not work at all. I actually lay down and prepared a small bucket for my vomit. I can't stand my husband's smell, perfume, l*x soap and cigarettes.. But I don't want my room dirty. Must be clean and tidy.

"Hoeeek...Hoeeeeek.rrrgh..." That is my day - my day. All that goes into my stomach is a honey-fed young coconut.

Surprisingly, it was Deni who initially doubted my virginity, but he did not question my pregnancy.

Since it had been 1 week that my condition had not changed, I submitted a letter of resignation to my supervisor.

After knowing that I decided to resign from my job, the husband's attitude was getting annoying. He seems reluctant to support me.

"That's Nita's pregnant tea, but still working in the factory. You just shut up."

I went to the bathroom to clean myself and shampoo. I don't mind his chatter at all.

I went to the doctor only once because the money was enough to eat. While my savings money is not nosy, because I know the stingy character of Deni who is very difficult to spend money.

"Your laptop is just sell it, make it eat. You know difficult husband money, you're just sick. You were invited to talk about it. With your ears?"

I answered without looking at him.

"If I answer, will you listen? You'll approve? No, right? The bike was given by my brothers. Those who pay their taxes. Not you. As long as I'm not working, the bike is also just at home."

I have to be that alibi, so that he does not continue to have the desire to sell the assets that I have. And savings money too. All I secure in a suitcase that's always locked. As for the key, I kept it in a hidden place. Therefore, I decided not to work, other than for the sake of my fetus, also for the sake of my property so as not to be stolen by him. One more thing, that bike is my foot. He was my helper in times of emergency.