Your Love Thin Paper

6. Start Again

After the separation, we did not contact each other again. Maybe he was trying to get his heart set. I also continued the day that stayed some more time in this city. I have applied for resign. But Team Leader is still waiting for a replacement SPG for my place.

That time came again. Back I rode KM Kelud from the port of Sekupang Batam to Tanjung Priok.

Night on the deck, now I'm running it myself. My tears shed like rain that doesn't know when it stops? Tired of standing, I sat curled to my knees. My face piled to my knees and cried. Lucky, it's quiet. The distance between the people on the deck was very far, as if they were giving me space and understanding my grief.

Consciousness whipped me up to rise. I don't want to cry that isn't mine. Live must go. I took a deep breath once, I exhaled, then I walked straight towards the cafe. I ordered a glass of hot chocolate and toast my favorite snack

'Oh, God. Is this what you call a breakup? Sick to Rabb. What a taste it is. Please strengthen your servant, Lord.'

I cried again while sipping my drink.

In the corner of the cafe, there is a stage where musical instruments with the players. The singer and musician seemed to see me aloof on the solitary corner sofa from the others. They seem to understand what I feel. Back I tried to cuek enjoy a piece of bread that I bit and I***** slowly. However, I cried again when I heard the chic Geisha song performed by the singer in this ship band.

Stall my memory

Write about him

Blot out my memories of him

Eliminate my memory

If it's about him

I want to forget it

Hooo...

I stood up to the stage and gave the band a piece of red money in the open box they provided. They smiled and continued singing.

"For those who are sad, just for a moment dissolve the taste. Arise up. The day is long. Stay up!"

When the song ended, the vocalist said a line that I believe he was pointing at me. I smiled and waved at them. I sip my last chocolate drink, then I pay the bill and step outside the cafe. But at first glance I heard the lyrics of the song Peterpan from the singer.

I can paint the sky

I can make you radiant

But I can step away

When you tricked me here

I can step away

I got that thing

But open your mask

Open your mask

Let me see your color

My feet stepped outside the Hall cafe. I got them, and I gave him a thumbs up. They nodded, smiled and the vocalist gave his thumbs up, clasped his elbows and waved his hands at me.

I know, they're trying to strengthen me. Until the ship leaned on the dock, I went down to my motorcycle parking lot. Thank God all my luggage is safe in its place.

Because I already know the North end of this part of DKI, I immediately drove my motorbike to divide the city crowd towards Bandung. Yep. My intuition led me there.

Arriving in Kembang City, I looked for a boarding place in Cimahi area. Alhamdulillah. The name of the village is Cibeureum. Kosanku went into the village road which still has many big trees. A cold air greeted me gently in my skin and hair.

Of course I chose the bathroom and the kitchen inside, for privacy's sake. I really am like a refugee. The thin mattress I put in the big plastic, was at the very top of my bike. I don't have to buy any more furniture.

I'm a simple type of person. So, my clothes made a total of 2 small suitcases that could fit into my motorcycle cloth basket. I only bought rice at a stall near the kosan.

In the morning, I applied for a job at a big distributor. God is always so good to me. I was accepted into a battery sales company. I don't know, why would I accept this opportunity? In fact, I just stepped on the city of Bandung for the first time. If it is still on the island of Java, it feels like home alone. Brave innards. Different in Batam.

'Ah, Batam. Turns out you gave me bitter sweet memories. I fell in love there. But, my love is dashed already in your city. My heart is tethered but unrequited. It was even broken into pieces.'

Back, I'm crying. It feels like there's still a scent of his body in my sense of smell.

'Oh my God, is this how hurt it feels to be out of love? Can you enable me, O Rabb. Make me live my day, O Owner of Life.'

I straightened my instruments of worship, and tried to close my eyes.

The morning after the dawn prayer, I cooked rice in my mini magic com. I fried the look I bought yesterday at the vegetable stall. I uleg material sambel in cobek petite stone that always participate in every adventure I.

Until one day, I went outside the supermarket in Cijerah, someone called me.

"Devi. Devina's." I looked at the origin of the sound. A skinny, not handsome man walked towards my motorbike.

"Hey, are you here too? I'm Deni, the Junior Child you used to laugh at. Time forgot. Class F. You're in class B, right? Your father is the foreman, right?"

I smiled flatly accepting his hand. I didn't give him my boarding address, because I was caught off guard with men. I'm afraid of failing again.

But, it turns out that he found my boarding house. Over time, she convinced me she wanted to marry me. Because I was ashamed to be a spinster, I accepted his invitation to marry.

From his appearance, it has been read that he is not from the family of employees like me. Justright. When invited back home by train, upon arrival at the station, we took an angkot to his village. His house through the paddy fields about 500m. It feels exhausting. But how else, it's already gone.

Entering his house, I tiptoed. Indeed, the floor of the house has been ceramic, but ngeres. The size of the room is small, dark stuffy because there is no ventilation and windows. The kitchen floor is still ground. Cook it in firewood and gas stoves. The furniture was scattered here. When I fell into the water, how much more shock I felt. The bathroom is still cement, in the bath is dirty, while the floor and walls are a lot of moss and brown and black yellow.

'OMG. I live in an age untouched by civilization.'

I was in my heart in shock staring at a situation far from my family's habits.

When I was offered a meal, I refused it, because the dishwasher was very turbid and oily. I am thankful to have mineral water. So, when I was treated to tea, I just gave the glass to Deni.

My future-in-law said, it's okay to get married. But they don't want to throw a party.

'Well, who asked for a party? I'm ashamed, my future husband isn't quite my level.'

My movements are still in my heart.