The Tears of a Wife

Divorced or Merged

Today I started doing my duties as a wife because I made up with Mas Damian. As usual, after the morning prayers I did not go to bed anymore, I will go to the kitchen to cook breakfast. Then continue to prepare for Mas Damian's needs and my own.

Damian is back to teaching today. He said, many tasks from his students that he had not checked. For that he can submit to the asdos (assistant lecturer), but today he also has to prepare questions for UTS students. That's why he still has to go to college. My husband is a lecturer in General Linguistics. He taught at the faculty of FKIP, more precisely the Indonesian Language and Literature Education program.

I was a teacher at the Kindergarten. Coincidentally today I also had to return to teaching after taking a three-day leave because I could not leave Mas Damian who was still bad. Now that things have improved, we have to get back to work.

"Thank you, Ai." I blinked as a kiss suddenly landed on my forehead. Right now I'm pairing a tie for Mas Damian.

"Because it's been paired with a tie?"

Mas Damian grunts amusedly. "Not only that. Thanks for everything. Everything." I blushed a little hearing it. Ah, I told you, right? Damian is actually very sweet. "And also sorry ...," he continued suddenly, making me frown.

"Sorry for what, Mom?"

"I'm sorry for putting you in this position." He sighed for a moment before continuing, "sorry because you have to replace Mas. The sick are those. But you admit it."

"Mas ... I told you, didn't I? Its alright. I'm not fighting it. Don't talk about it anymore, Mas," I replied as I rubbed his right cheek gently. I also gave a sweet smile. Trying to convince her that I'm okay.

"You might be humiliated later, Ai," the rebuttal looked still unkind.

"If there's Mas Damian, I'm fine. The most important thing is to stay by my side."

Hearing him, the man then pulled back my hips and then grabbed my body. I returned his embrace and rubbed his broad back. I know Mas Damian still feels guilty right now. It seemed, I had to do something to revive my husband's confidence.

"Grateful to have you, Ai. Only you can understand and love Him with all your heart. Thank you very much," he said full of affection.

"I love you too, Mom. No matter what happens, I will not leave you. Please don't think about separating from me. I want to always accompany you no matter what the circumstances," I immediately replied with a nod. "Mas promised not to ask for separation from you, Ai. I will always try to keep you."

Really, this is enough for me. I'm already very happy here. Even if it's just meant to be a life together, I don't have a problem. I hope that God will continue to give us blessing to keep fighting until the end of life.

.........

"Master Teacher!"

The cries of the children immediately sounded simple as I entered the classroom. They all hurriedly got up and ran towards me then scrambled just to hug my feet. Initially I was surprised, not expecting to be greeted so excited. Then I laughed and squatted down to make it easier for these sweet kids to hug me. Really, this moment makes me feel so happy at once.

"Master Teacher! Aira Kangen, Master! Why didn't last night come?" The boy with the hair on the ponytail spoke first. Aira's name, sweet little girl who has dimples.

I did not have time to answer, another child has interrupted, "Dani also miss Mother! We thought Master Ma'am would not enter again. Eca cried last night." The boy named Dani pointed to his friend; the girl who was the smallest among the other children. The ponyy little girl stood at the very back, looking at me with her two teary eyes. It seems like he really thought I stopped being their teacher and was about to leave. He must be sad because no one asked him to talk again later, because Eca is a very quiet child and always aloof in the corner of the class. Usually I'm the one who invites him to talk and do various ways so that he wants to hang out with his friends.

"Eca, here, Son ..," I said, waving my hand. I gave her the sweetest smile, so that she would come closer to me even though she looked shy. "Mother Master is not going, Eca. I only took a few days off because I couldn't teach."

"Mother's sick?" he asked then with a trembling voice. I tried to refrain from chuckling amusedly and pinching the cheek of the herd. Oh, my God, this kid is so sweet.

"No, not Mom. But Mom's husband is sick. I have to take care of him" I replied accordingly. I think the kids understand enough. They were simultaneously ooh ria with their innocent faces.

"As long as Mother Teacher isn't around, who taught you?"

"Great mother" replied Dani. Actually the point is Bu Darmi, the headmaster who happens to be a bit fat. Just like the big peck in Upin & Ipin cartoons. Ah, the children calling so must be an example of the cartoon.

"Yes already, now back to their respective benches, huh? We start by praying, singing, and learning together. Okay, kids?"

"Okay, Master!" answer them in unison with great enthusiasm.

Ah, this is how happy it is for me. I also consider my students like my own children. So I don't feel too lonely.

.........

10:45 is when these kindergarten kids come home. They were picked up by their parents as usual. I was getting ready to go home—after politely declining Bu Darmi's offer to have lunch together later. I want to go home quickly because I want to cook myself at home for Mas Damian. He sent a message and said he would be home at lunchtime.

When I wanted to order an ojek online while walking towards the gate, I accidentally saw Eca who was still standing in front of the gate with a confused look. I put off ordering an online motorcycle and put my phone back in my bag. Then I immediately approached my protege whose face began to turn moody.

"Eca, haven't come home yet, son?" call me after being next to him. The little girl turned her head and looked up to look at me, then shook her head.

"Papa hasn't picked up Eca, Master."

I breathe out slowly. Apparently, the boy's father was again late to pick up. I forgot or because I have a lot of work. Not once twice like this, I often accompany Eca waiting for her father's invitation which can sometimes be over an hour. I've called, but the guy usually just says sorry and asks us to wait a little longer. Ah, it sucks actually. Not because I felt my time was wasted, but I felt sorry for Eca who had to wait that long. He always looked sad whenever his father was late to pick him up. I'm afraid he thinks his father forgot about him or is lazy to pick him up.

"Eca, can Master ask you something?" I took the initiative to invite him to chat so that the child was not too bored.

"Did Eca have a baby sister at home?" I asked bergini because I was surprised several times, why did her mother Eca never come to replace her husband to pick up their child? I mean, if his dad's busy, at least his mom can try to pick him up, right?

"Baby sister? Don't have it, Master. Eca has no sister. I don't have a mother either."

I suddenly heard her innocent answer. God, why don't I think about this? I could ask that question without thinking about the possibility. Even though Eca seemed mediocre, I still felt very guilty for asking her that. I should have found out for myself, instead of directly asking this kid. Ah, I'm so stupid.

I then crouched down and pulled the tiny body of Eca into my arms. Guess what, the kid must be confused. "Master Teacher?"

"Master wants to hug Eca, okay?"

"Yes. I feel sad."

This kid even patted my back with his tiny hands. As if to calm myself. You should be treated like that, son.

"Natasha?"

The sound of baritone suddenly interrupting, made us immediately let go of this embrace. I immediately got up to my feet after knowing who was coming; his father was Eca.

The strong man was dressed like an office man. White shirt, neat tie, and black suit and black pants wrapped his body. His face was handsome with intimidating sharp eyes and thick eyebrows. But I think it's still more handsome Mas Damian, anyway. Wait ... Why am I even paying attention to her appearance and comparing with my husband?

Oh, Airin, look, this guy looks confused to see you hugging his son.

"Father!" Meanwhile, Eca, whose real name is Natasha, immediately smiled and approached her father. About the name, I'm also confused why Natasha's nickname is even Eca. But I think it suits her adorable.

"Sir" I said clumsily. "I was accompanying Eca waiting for your invitation," I explained before she asked. "Then about that hug ...." I'm confused as to what this one should look like.

"Eca hugged Master because Master Ma was sad!" sahut Eca with his rousing. I feel more awkward. I hope Mr. Daniel—his father is Eca, not thinking strangely about me for hugging his son at will.

But it turns out that Mr. Daniel just nodded his head and refocused on his son. "Darling, thank Master."

"Thank you, Master! See you tomorrow, yeah! Don't lose it again like yesterday!"

I laughed hearing that. "Together, Eca. Ready, I'm not going on leave tomorrow. See you and be careful on the road, yeah."

I gave each other a nod of the head with Mr. Daniel before the man took Eca home in his black sedan. After that, I returned to the phone in the bag.

"Gosh, it's 12 o'clock. I have to go home soon," I said, ordering an online motorcycle taxi. I wish I had come earlier than Mas Damian so I could cook for him.

.........

Arriving at home, I was surprised by a bright red car parked in our yard. I know it was Mira's car. That means, mom is inside now.

I let out a heavy sigh and tried to prepare my heart before entering my own home. To be honest, I was a little scared because I was worried that mom would get mad like last night.

"Assalamualaikum," my greeting upon entering the house. I saw Mas Damian, Mom and Mira gathered in the living room like last night. They look very serious. Even Mas Damian looks tense.

"Waalaikumsalam," replied the mother ketus. I smiled bitterly looking at him. Mom's attitude has changed drastically since last night. More precisely since he thought I was barren.

"Sit next to Mas, Ai," said Mas Damian who I immediately participated. I sat down next to her, facing the mother who was staring at us both sharply.

"What's this, Mom?" I whispered to Mas Damian, but the one who answered even mother, "Mom is introducing some girls to Damian," he joked inviting a confused grimace on my forehead.

"For what, Mom?"

"For what? Of course to be Damian's second wife!"

My heart stopped beating right then. My breath was blocked and both my eyes were breaking. I was so shocked to hear my mother's words.

Damian suddenly took my right hand and grabbed it. I turned to her with a surprised expression. "Mass?" call me with a vibrating voice.

Oh Allah ... what else is this? After making it out of the threat of divorce, in exchange should I accept being pitted?

"I'm sorry, Ai. They tried to reject it. But Mother kept forcing," shrewd Mas Damian with his head bowed.

"Mas!"

Don't do this, Mas .. Please be a little more assertive. Don't give in to your mother's will.

"Airin, you're supposed to be self-conscious!" Mother rebuked me again, "you are barren! Can't give Damian a child! What's Damian's future if he has no children?!"

"Mom, don't be so angry" said Mira.

"Shut up, Mira. Don't interfere. I'm trying to save your own life from this barren woman." My heart really hurts to hear it. Mom really railed against me blatantly. "And you, Airin. Don't you feel sorry for Damian? He won't be able to have any offspring because of you! Therefore, you shouldn't forbid Damian from finding another woman who can bear his child!"

"But, Ma'am ...."

"If you can't get pregnant and give your child to Damian, at least help him find a replacement for you! You are barren, Airin! Nothing can be expected from your unhealthy womb!"

I really feel humiliated in this position. But I kept trying to hold on for Mas Damian. However, Mas Damian who just silenced with his head bowed without any intention of defending myself was really making me more disappointed.

I knew Mas Damian was indeed weak in front of his mother. He always obeyed the words of his mother and never dared to resist. I know Mas Damian loved and respected his mother very much. But, seeing his own wife insulted in front of him and just being quiet, it was truly outrageous.

"The choice is only two, Airin." She said, "rela Damian is polygamous or divorced. The decision is in your hands," added the mother gave two choices that I could not accept. On the one hand I love Mas Damian very much. I cannot and will not be willing to part with my husband. And on the other hand, I can't stand to see Mas Damian with another woman. I don't thank you if Mas Damian's affection is divided with his second wife later. I'm really stuck in this situation.

What am I supposed to do?

Seriate...