THE STONE THAT LOVES

Towards a Teen

It's about feelings and sacrifice.

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My name is Abeel, I am a teenage girl who always pinned a high ego inside.

My family is not ordinary, I live and grow up in an environment of less affection that might even be considered a mess.

From the child, the hatred of men is imprinted in the heart and begins to want to hurt, perhaps because of my bitter experience that still follows into the identity.

My father left my mother, brother, me and sister when I was in 4th grade. I was forcibly independent and mature beyond my age, it was not a choice or my will but it was a condition that required.

My life is not okay, sometimes there is envy when I see friends with situations and circumstances that are not the same in what I experience.

I curse at every problem that comes into my life, differences make me a quiet person. I know everyone, even the corner of the earth, talks about the misfortune I've been through.

I live in seclusion, let alone being able to open up with feelings even to express what I feel I don't know how.

But I always think about going on because that's what I'm living for. No matter what level my caste is at, all I focus on is how to survive life.

The time goes so short, I feel more mature the way I think is also different from my peers.

I understand very well that in my neighborhood where there are parents who allow their children to be friends with me to see my background, maybe they have banned and cursed.

But I don't hate my parents, not a single person builds a household to be deliberately destroyed.

I consider this a test, surely my mother was the first person who was very hit with what had happened.

I know how devastated he was when he was left without a word or a fight as a reason for separation.

What others see is not what it really is, but it is how humans always have their own conclusions to judge freely without any sense of empathy.

I live in my hometown with my sister and grandmother, my mother and sister wander through town. I always try to give good news when my mother asks the situation of both of us, I try to be a kaka as well as a substitute mother for my sister.

Started washing clothes, cooking, cleaning the house and taking care of my sister who was then only 4 years old.

For me it is pleasant though sometimes forced my ears to hear the spicy talk of neighbors, I always think well of them by assuming the natural and let their mouths actively speak, even though by scorning and dropping the blessings of others.

After graduating from elementary school, I had the determination to continue my education.

I am an outstanding student, from first to sixth grade always ranked in the top one or two.

I did not dare to ask my mother or my brother's permission given our economic conditions were not possible at the time, especially rumors about school fees that are not good to hear.

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I secretly ventured to enroll in a nearby school, coincidentally at that time not far from my house opened a new private school.

I was accepted without being asked for administrative fees and so it feels very happy.

The first day of school I was still wearing a red and white uniform with a brown hijab, because at that time I could not afford a blue white uniform and hijab.

Every day I am the center of attention of my friends, maybe they think I am different and unusual but I always try to build confidence in myself to change my current situation for the future.

I started collecting the pocket money my mother had sent to buy school uniforms without her knowledge.

One by one brown and white blue uniform I get after 3 months of saving.

The semester exams were about to begin and by the time my mother and sister found out that I was continuing my education without their permission, my mother came home from the region without my knowledge.

Upon arrival at home he scolded me and cried, that was the first cry I saw after my father left us, the guilt in me as if condemning unforgivable remorse.

"I'm sorry mommy deck, mom has failed, mom can't make you happy even, mom doesn't know what you want so you're forced to struggle alone with your love, so that makes mom proud of the trail of achievement you gave me" hugged my mom with a broken cry

Suddenly I was shocked, from where I knew I was doing well in school even I did not tell my mother that I was continuing my education again, but I did not really care about the reasons from where my mother knew everything.

After that incident my mother always encouraged me to continue learning and pursuing my mind, it was the greatest energy that made my stance stronger.

He always paid attention to my needs, starting from buying my school equipment and equipment with so much no matter how much money he had spent. It felt the spirit passion in my blood flow without getting clogged.

I am so grateful for what I got after so much patience. The struggle never disappoints at the end.

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Lord, it is true that your promise is sure and happens.

TB

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