The Love of the Past

Painful Confession

“Ra, there's something important I want to talk about. Do you have time?” Zayn opened the conversation as his bike slowly started to leave the restaurant where they worked.

“Yes, of course, Darling. What do you want to say, anyway? It seems very serious,” asked Nayra curiously.

“We stopped by the park first, huh?”

“Oke.”

In the afternoon after work, as usual Zayn drove his beloved Nayra— home to the boarding with his motorbike. No one is suspicious of their relationship at the restaurant because Zayn is always nice to anyone and sweet to everyone. 

Zayn's motorbike slowly split the road, heading for a park not far from the city center. A few minutes later, they reached the park and sat in a long chair there. Green plants overgrown with flowers in various angles look very beautiful when viewed by the eye. The well-maintained green clumps filled the ground, surrounding the pool water in the middle. There were not many people in the park, there were only a few people who were carrying their children to play and occasionally feed them food.

Zayn clasped Nayra's hand tightly and looked her in the eye. I don't know, Nayra's heart seemed powerless to hold the gaze of the man beside her, like he was about to say something bad. In his mind, he kept thinking and guessing what his lover wanted to say.  

“Darling, for these two years, have you really loved me?” asked Zayn, the brown bead did not stop pointing at the face of the girl.

Between being ready to be unprepared, Zayn is forced to be honest right now. He was getting more and more unsettled if he hid something as important as this for too long. The man is afraid that it will become a big problem in their relationship when his secret is kept. Zayn and Nayra are one of the couples who love each other, sharing a romance story for two years.

 

“Of course, Zayn. I may not have any love, let alone we've been in a relationship for two years. Why suddenly ask that?”

“Sorry, Ra. I think it's time I got to be honest. I want to say something that I've been covering up all this time, sorry if I hurt you later," said Zayn Lirih, his eyes were not as usual, as if holding something.

“What do you mean, Zayn? Don't scare me.” Nayra, who looked agitated, was increasingly made unsettled by Zayn's hanging statement.

Zayn's hand pulled out his phone, looking for a photo to show Nayra. The image on the screen made the woman almost faint. He could not speak so he looked at it carefully.

His throat was like it was stuck, the tears that were in the fertilizer, now began to drip. The longer, the more tears flowed down her cheeks. Nayra's heart shattered into pieces, leaving the deepest wound on her chest. The woman's body suddenly suffocated like it was boneless. However, he tried hard to look at Zayn who was looking down avoiding his gaze.

"He ... who is he? You've ...?"

It felt very heavy when Nayra tried to say one word that made her feel like she was struck by lightning. The phone that had just moved into his hand, now he handed it rough to Zayn, smacking it right on the man's chest. Her tears broke as she stared at the photo of Zayn with a woman sitting next to him. Also do not forget, there is a baby in the lap of the woman.

Married, that was the word in Nayra's mind right now. He could very well conclude even if he only saw the photo once. His girlfriend is now married. Inevitably, he had to try to accept the harsh reality.

The sentence was successfully spoken by Nayra even though with a trembling voice, her chest was very tight. He tried to regulate his breathing which was increasingly hunting irregularly. His heart was racing too.

"I'm .. I'm married, Ra. But, this is not all my will. Honey, understand."

The guilt will of course continue to haunt Zayn, he loves Nayra so much. She did not want to lose the woman if she was going to tell the truth when her marriage took place a year ago. However, he thought that his marriage to his current wife would not last long. He even intends to divorce her.

The photo looks very happy, a complete little family. It still feels like a nightmare to Nayra. The man who had been a longing for his heart turned out to be married, even had children.

“Understanding? You told me to make you understand. You're sick, Zayn!“ Nayra grabbed her hair, took a deep breath. His view to the clouds.

“Please, sorry I. All this is reasoned, Ra.”

“How could this happen, what was my fault that you lied to me, Zayn?” inner Nayra churned. He couldn't believe that Zayn would hurt him.

 

Tell me if this is all a lie. You're kidding, right?" Nayra lowered her emotions for a moment. Although his eyes glazed over, but his lips forced him to smile. Hope everything Zayn says isn't true.

“Ma–maaf .. I'm sorry, Rara. Please!”

“You think my heart is made of stone? I'm a human being, Zayn! It's very painful. You know, two years isn't a minute. Why not say, huh? How long have you been ...”

Nayra was sitting limp, her eyes were poignant and continued to give off warm liquid, she covered her face with both hands. Nayra's hopes of building a future together with Zayn have been shattered already. Nayra guessed Zayn's marriage to his wife was already a year old or maybe more. It was shown from the baby photo.

“I'm sorry, Honey. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you so much, I love you more, I don't love you at all. Understand, I'm saying all this because I want us to move on to the serious level. In the future, we can still live together and get married, Ra."

Nayra pursed her lips, reviewed her cynical smile and frowned. Not yet lost the wound that Zayn gave, now coupled with a sentence that makes no sense out of his mouth.

“Are you crazy? You're a married man, you're having an affair, now you're asking me to get married? Where's your mind, Zayn? Until anytime, I wouldn't want to be an affair, let alone a destroyer of people's households, hear that!"

Nayra continued to express her annoyance at Zayn—a heartfelt lover whom even all this time she was proud of. He also plans to introduce the man to his mother. However, all was not in accordance with expectations, hope and wishful thinking is now destroyed replaced with hatred.

“Don't be like this, Ra. I'm sorry. I don't know why I could love you so deeply. I don't even love him at all. We can marry Siri, honey," persuaded Zayn by cribbing.