The Adventures of the Goddess of the Night

CHAPTER 15

I don't think the day passed two weeks ago. I spend a lot of time at home, because to this day I have not been getting a job, rather I have not intended to find a new job.

I was still confused where to find a job and asked who. I myself do not have the courage to wonder or travel around the city looking for job openings. Moreover, I only have a diploma SMP and do not have any skills, of course it will be difficult for me to get a job if there is, surely the job is also limited to being a waitress for a coffee shop, depot, and, or shopkeepers in the market.

But my shy nature and always nervous when dealing with other people especially those I do not know, makes it difficult for me to communicate. Moreover deep down in my little heart it still feels hard to accept this reality, which must make me no longer able to continue my education.

I'm not ready to work anymore either. Yesterday's experience working in a coffee shop made me a little uninspired to leave this house again. I still want to spend time in this house, and I still hope you will change your mind so He will try to send me to school again.

The relationship between me and my parents is indeed a long distance, for some reason, I also never know the reason. since childhood I am used to not being noticed, if I have a problem, if I have a problem, I can only hold it myself, no one is trying to throw distance between us, nor do I know what to do to get closer and warmer.

Although I actually felt sad, I really wanted to feel their affection a little, even if it was just once. I could only pray, hoping that someday they would love me and care for me, that was enough to make me happy.

Geck... Geck... Geck...

Czechs....

The door to my room opened with Mother's appearance, startling me who was daydreaming while lying on the couch. I immediately got up, sat leaning on the head of the couch hugging the pillow.

Suddenly my feelings became uneasy when I saw Mom approach me. I'm sure this time he'll say something that I won't like. But I chose silence while sighing, calming my heart from the sudden anxiety.

"Rin, are you really not returning to work in the shop of Mr Imam? it's been two weeks you're at home, Ma'am Su had a phone call nanyain news you when you return there." asked Mom while sitting on the edge of the mattress, looking at me fixed.

"I don't want to work there anymore Mom," I said softly as I threw my face in another direction avoiding Mom's gaze.

"If you don't come back, tell Mr. Imam well, don't make people expect let alone wait."

I just kept my head down, not daring to look at my mother who was still looking at me sharply, I don't know why Mom was never warm to me, often I think if I was not her son, she said, until Mom always behaved like that to me.

"I still want to be at home Mom, I don't want to stay away from home anymore, I still want to be here with you guys." I replied softly, now I look up to Mom who is also still looking at me sharply.

"You want to see when you're hanging at home, not looking for work! you know not looking for work now is difficult, already have a job even do not want to return, whereas Mr. Imam and Mbak Su is a good person but you do not even want to work there again."

"I still want school Mom, I'm not ready to work. I still want to realize my ideals, still want to gather with my friends." I replied with trembling lips, my eyes began to tear up.

I looked back down, hiding a speck of bulir that had burst into the corner of my eye. For some reason my chest feels so tight, there is a little pain that I feel in my heart.

Mother is still looking at me, this time her gaze began to soften, maybe she was a little Iba looking at me who is now starting to sob slowly.

"Rin.. starting today learn to mengikhlaskan everything, you are no longer likely to be able to continue school, you know for yourself how your Father, if you have given a decision that can not be denied. This mother is only a poor person, can only hope for the money given by your Father, so I cannot do anything to oppose the decision of the Father. You also have to know yourself, we are just people who do not have, the school does not reach high school as well as important gapapa you are actively working for money, many kog who are not high school but can be successful, if you try."

"If only you want to try, still want to sew, surely you can still send me to school, Mom, my friends are also many poor, his brother is also many still all school, all, His father was only a farm worker but his father still fought for his son's education. Why can't I go to school, Mom, but in this house I'm the only one who goes to school." I'm sobbing more and more, blowing the burden on the heart that's been squeezing.

"You don't understand also Rin, you have to understand our situation is different, don't equate with your friends, I don't know anymore how you understand," I snapped as I went out of the room.

My sobs became more and more after Mom's departure. Can't I demand my right to go to school? not that I don't understand the circumstances of us who live mediocre, but I know if you are actually able if you want to try.

The father was a good tailor, although the order is not much but always there every day. You are also smart to play the organ, sometimes you also appear in weddings with his tambourine group, if only you want to teach tutoring one of the young men who came to the house asking to be taught, there must be some income for my school fees, which is why I refuse to take this fate for granted.

But no matter how much I rejected my destiny, this fact that I have to accept, you can not change his decision even though I never know the reason, why not send me to high school, why not send me to high school, I also wouldn't ask for college. All this time I never asked for anything, I just wanted to continue school.

"is I selfish?"