The 40 Days of the Natiphas

Don't hold me back

I saw clearly the expression of my husband, he was very surprised and not wrinkled. I also saw the look on my mother's face as well as the Rose, they smiled at my decision. 

"Certify me!" I say once again, abstain for me from forgiving betrayal. 

"Wait what else are you, Dam? She's the one who wants to split up, let's divorce her." My mother-in-law encouraged her son to be detached from me, sad to see that everything was inversely proportional before Kanaya's birth. 

"True your mother, Mas. I can give you a boy, not like he gives you a daughter." The Rose looked at the cynical Luna, smiling triumphantly.

I smiled faintly, but Adam did not dare to look me in the eye and always lowered his head. "There's nothing to regret, Mom. It's all happened, so why keep it?" 

Everyone kept pressing Adam for a divorce, but his heart felt heavy to do so. He loves Luna, but his devotion to his mother makes him forget the responsibility to his son and his wife. 

"I can't." 

"can't? I don't want to hear that sentence, my talak right now!" it's weird not to have a husband like Adam, he didn't want to divorce me but hurt me for his betrayal. 

Mother and Rose were surprised by Adam's decision, they pressured him to divorce me. 

"Dam .. Dam, the wife is so defended. Better Roses, be beautiful and most importantly give you boys." 

I smiled bitterly, could-can mother talk like that and keep pressing mas Adam. But I was more upset at my husband who was just a cowardly man, always obeying his mother's words and forgetting his responsibility to me as well as Kanaya. 

"I'm not going to divorce Luna, period." 

"Adam ... Dam, did you start acting out to your mother?" squealing mother-in-law who saw the departure of the son only wayangnya, and followed to brainwash my husband. 

Rose folded her hands, her eyes piercing as she looked at me. "I'll make sure Adam divorces you, Mba." He said sure and left. 

For a moment I took a deep breath and took it out slowly, the thing that hurt me more was not giving me freedom. Why is a marriage still being maintained? If the captain alone can not run it, it will only make the ship more sinking. I clasped the end of the sofa and sat down with a feeling of heartache, a selfish nature that only inflicts wounds on all sides. 

"Love? He loved me but was afraid to resist his mother's wishes. So all this time my mother-in-law never loved me and all her words were lies." I muttered with a bitter smile, seeing Kanaya fall asleep in my sling slightly becoming solace in a troubled heart. 

"But you, Dam. Don't forget how Mom gave birth to you first, it took a struggle and almost took a life. Is this your reply to me? Just divorcing Luna you can't. What is the lack of roses? Already she is beautiful, young, and her descendants are many men so most likely your son is also a boy. Unlike Luna giving you a daughter, also her origin is unclear. I've told you how many times not to marry her, but you still insist and have an alibi to love her." Said the middle-aged woman with spirit. 

Mother deliberately raised her voice so that I would listen, my heart was getting sick but did not want to cry anymore. Why do I cry for someone who does not love me sincerely, even selfishly. 

I chuckle with the mother's words about the sex of the child, isn't that already predestined by the Creator of the universe? So, why does the mother precede the given destiny?

I used to learn biology that explained that sex is determined by the chromosomes that men carry, if only I could say all that, she said, but I'm sure you won't believe it and make fun of me even more. Never mind, I am tired and do not want to think about all that, for me the most important thing is my baby, Kanaya. 

I went into my room and hid from those who were gossiping about me, an irritated feeling decided to leave the house. The suitcase on top of the closet I immediately dropped, some clothes and also my baby clothes neatly packed, my determination was round and no matter what about Mas Adam who did not want to divorce me, he said, let this marriage be a hanging marriage at least I'm a little calm if I'm far away from it. 

"Where are you going?" the high-pitched speech made me jump in shock and even woke up Kanaya who was asleep, I immediately turned my head and saw Adam who was so very angry, let alone holding a suitcase and some baby equipment. 

I did not answer and went back to my original goal of stepping out the door of the house.

"You can't leave this house!" he said firmly to hold me back.

"Nothing's left in this place."

"But you are still my wife, and I forbid you as a husband."

Hearing his words said a husband who has the right but the heart to hurt me. "I've asked Mas to divorce me, but I refused my very simple request."

"Because I still love you."

"Here you go, don't say the words you don't understand, I'll go and please don't hold me back. Whether or not he divorces me, but I'll leave."

To hell with everything that was there because I no longer cared, walking quickly out the door brought Kanaya along with me, but it was just my image that in fact Adam ran and took my son by force. Of course she did that to hold me back, because my only weakness and also strength was my daughter. 

"Now Kanaya is with me go if you want."He smiled at victory.

"To force me to use a child as a tool is very wrong, even though I was detained in this house but my heart has traveled far. Let me go with Kanaya, start your new life with Rose according to mother's wishes, I'm sincerely born and inner."

"You still can't go, I'm going crazy."

"What about me and the rose?"

"The rose will stay here one roof with us, I promise to be fair to you two but I beg you not to leave me."

I smiled bitterly and also did not understand the very shallow mindset of Adam, he could have said such selfish things to me. "Go get it, Mas. Give Kanaya to me!"

"Go without Kanaya, I'll take care of her myself."

"I've known for a long time what your purpose is, to take advantage of someone else's weakness is called cowardice, and I don't think it's from you."