That Storm Must've Passed

Flashbacks

"Mama...Where should we go after our house is sold?" Ask my son with a look that slices my heart.

I hugged her tightly, and I could not help but hold back my tears wanting to push out.

"Please tell me.mama is looking for a way out. While we lived with Grandma. Hmm??"

I couldn't continue my words, other than hugging my son as if I didn't want to let him go.

I know this situation is very difficult for me. I chose to live with my ex-in-law, rather than live with my real parents. There's a reason I'd rather live with my son's father's mother. Other than that my mother-in-law loved me so much and didn't really want us to get divorced, I wasn't comfortable living with my mom because we had different beliefs. My son is also happier and more comfortable living with his father's mother. So I'd rather stay with my ex-mother-in-law because I don't want to be far from my son, while we'll prepare to move to a new place.

For over a month I lived with my former mother-in-law, and during that time I never met my son's father. I've been breastfed by our farewell, even though he didn't give my son a living. Let all this I find a way to survive and raise my son in my own way even if I have to go.

Even though I was very welcome to live with my mother-in-law, it turned out to be the opposite of my mother who could not accept my decision. Mama felt that my attitude was inappropriate because I was divorced from my son's father. But I had no choice. After all, this is also only temporary, waiting until my house sells for whatever price.

Actually I can't bear it because it seems my son loves our house very much. But I couldn't do anything about it because I couldn't possibly hold it back because of the pressure of my debt that was too heavy for myself due to the irresponsibility of my ex-husband.

Moreover, some of my co-workers thought I had no good faith to return the money I borrowed. They even tried to threaten me to report me to the police.

All the attitude of my colleagues was very disappointing. I didn't expect them to think of me as if I was a thief who had run away with their money.

One of my best friends wouldn't even give me his account number so I could transfer the money I borrowed from them for fear that my account was broken. Isn't that ridiculous??

I also couldn't possibly whine at my mom or my sisters. This problem I face must be solved alone even though I have to sacrifice the house where my son and I have lived all this time. I want to get out of trouble and move to a new place soon.

"Assalaamu'alaikum..how's it going?" my friend Rani sms-me.

"Wa'alaikumussalaam.ya Rani, good alhamdulillaah."

"How is the house mbak...has anyone nawar?" tanyakanya.

"Yes, this is still a process. There are already nawar and want this process. Pray for Rani."

"Keep what's the next plan? So you're moving to where her future husband might be?" Ask Rani again.

"God willing Rani...Pray for me." I said.

"I don't know Rani yet. But one thing, she promised to make me happy, even though I couldn't love her yet."

"Isn't he married?" chase Rani.

I sighed before answering Rani's question.

"Yes, Rani."

"But why mbak? Don't you want to consider it first?"

"Maybe I'd better accept this choice Rani, because I can't possibly stay here anymore. I'd like to start the day in a new place and atmosphere."

"But that place is too far away. I will miss you very much. Nor does she have any family there."

"Don't forget Rani...There is a God who God is always with us." I said straightforwardly.

"Come on think again." whine Rani.

"Sorry Rani, maybe this is my way. Just pray for us so that in a new place we can live better."

No matter what happens in the future, I will not back down or look back to regret it.

I know that all I can't do is trouble others. I had to start a new path of our lives even though it was still vague.

I didn't even want to say goodbye to my mom for fear that she would arrest me or forbid me from leaving.

I just texted my sister-in-law to tell my mom if she asked me someday.

I am determined to leave behind all these bad memories. It's not that I hold grudges against what they've done to me. But I want to forget everything that has made me so sad and disappointed.

Let me give in by leaving this city of my birth, although in the future there are still many challenges that I will face. I am sure God will not leave us.