Tak Semanis Sugarcane Is Not Sepahit Coffee

Chapter 4

There's not much I can do. After that day, I was no longer interested in smiling. Like numbness, maybe because it's still in the thick of grief. It's a week after I've been languishing in the house.

Many questions loiter overhead with nothing answered. My friends from High School came to visit me when I told Naufal he was dead. I spent time with him telling him about my hurt feelings. Amara didn't know Naufal, she only knew his name and face on the phone when I showed her. 

I had no intention of telling Dandi my sorrow. During the time to the house Dandi also never asked, he just kept quiet and chatted a lot with mama. I felt guilty for ignoring her and preferred to be silent crying in the room.

Dandi came to take me for a walk. Although I refused, I finally went with him to his friend's live music cafe. I smiled and greeted the friends I knew.

"Have you heard me sing?" asked Dandi with a sweet smile.

"Emang pande sing?" manya mock. I don't know why when I'm with him I always talk so easily.

"See later. " Dandi left me. In front of him he stood taking a guitar that was already there.

"Good night everyone. "her bro gave a sweet smile that she always showed off to girls. The visitors answered his greeting by saying "night".

"I want to sing to a sad girl there because the person she loves is gone. Relax, I'm here." he said groaning mischievously. I pulled a little corner of my lips smiling sweetly. What song would he sing? I don't know, what to guess, in a moment he will make a sound.

The voice of the first guitar quote he still showed off his sweet smile. Then after that he closed his eyes and made me stiff there.

I know whose song this is. One of my favorite bands. Kangen Band with the title About Jen.

 

Tell me about a woman

Which his beloved left behind

And she cried in my arms

I realized he wasn't mine

He told me about his girlfriend

Who left him

He told me about his girlfriend

Who has gone to close their eyes

His girlfriend has left him

There are tears

I don't want to see him hurt

Make me his replacement                    

I stared quietly at her brown eyeballs looking at me as well. The look in those eyes seemed sincerely portraying his true feelings. No. gabe. I can't guess what the look in his eyes means.

It's just song lyrics, I can't bring feelings. He was just entertaining me. Yeah, he's just entertaining. It feels silly if he has feelings for me. The girls he often invited to walk a lot prettier when compared to me.

Nothing special about me. Not beautiful and attractive. Life is full of boring rules.

Dandi sat down next to me and finished performing that song. I smiled and acted ordinary. No, my point is to pretend to be ordinary. Tears have been shed since she sang.

"It turns out your voice is good, too. Just this time hear your voice sing." I said the one he greeted with a swipe in the head.

"What matters is not the sound, but the meaning of the song" he explained sipping orange juice that had just been in between.

"I want to hear your story actually, I want to ask you a lot of things, but you don't seem to want a story?" I smile at the smile. Shift the view forward. Staring at a beautiful girl with wavy hair was singing in front.

I was silent not answering. I don't want to share this story with anyone but Amara.

"But it doesn't matter if you don't want a story. It's just that I really don't like it when you cry for days and crouch in the room just because of his disappearance. Every human will leave. If I'm in his position you cry not?" the question pulls one eye eyebrow. I look at him not like. I don't like what he said last time.

"What the hell is that?" ketus.  Dandi let out a very cynical laugh.

"Go home now. "Connect me.

"Yes, let's go home." I was shocked when he said that. He did what I said. I didn't mean to do that, I thought he would still talk as usual regardless of what I said.

Dandi stood up leaving me still silent. He didn't even turn around looking at me first or anything. Is he angry?  Did I speak wrong?

And right, he seems angry. He ignored me on the way home. There is no typical joke that makes her upset but still attract a smile.

I hate feeling guilty. But let it be, I don't think I'm really guilty. We stopped buying martabak bangka which is currently again a trend in Medan. He didn't answer when I asked him who he was buying for. Because once I got home I understood he bought it for mom and dad.

I thought he would come straight home after driving me home, so he sat down to tell me the story of mom and dad. My sisters are busy picking martabak while staring at the comedy shows on television.

I sat there and smiled at the show that made them all laugh out loud. Is my sense of humor so bad? Or those who are too light-hearted to laugh in such a way?

Just seeing them laugh makes my stomach tingle. Their faces are funny when they laugh. Dad's serious face really turned severe when he laughed, out of nowhere the loss of the face.

Mama and Dilla are similar. Dilla even coughed while laughing with a mouth that still contained martabak. Don't ask Dandi, he laughs while hitting his own arm and sometimes patting the floor.

I'm not sure, but that laugh looks weird. Again, I guess about something. Never mind, I don't want to keep guessing, this could be wrong, but it doesn't rule out the possibility of right too.

I don't dare to like Dandi, it's nothing, Dandi is used to a lot of women, if I have a serious relationship with him I must be busy in the thickets of disbelief, while in the key relationship is mutual trust, what happens if the relationship is always suspicious? It will not run smoothly and for long. But if God wills, what can I do but receive?

"Why look at me that way? Just found out I'm handsome?" dad choked to hear Dandi ask me that. Mother held out a drink.

"Slow down, um. Watch out choke!"

"It."

"It's night. I'll go back, don't be sad!" Dandi ruffled my veil without caring about the father who was watching us. I punched him in the hand to stop but a second later he laughed.

"Om, ma'am, Dandi go home first."

I drove him forward. The motor was on, before wearing a helmet he said "Don't be sad again! After this wash your teeth, brush your feet and then sleep."

"Reverse!"

"intentionally. Do not forget to read your prayers before going to bed!"

"Yes. Let me know when we get home."

"OKAY. I'll go home first."

"Don't speed the bike!"