Tak Semanis Sugarcane Is Not Sepahit Coffee

Chapter 3

I can't explain where we've been traveling during our time in Padang, because it's really tiring and fun. This is the last day we traveled, Dandi took us all to Pariaman Beach.  Pariaman Beach is one of the tourist attractions that are visited by many locals and local outsiders. Her beauty is still awake.

I was silent to enjoy the afternoon breeze that hit the blue veil Dandi gave me on my birthday two years ago. The waves ran licking the legs I wrapped in cloth. Dandi sat in the cottage with Rizka and some of her friends. The day has shown at half six in the afternoon, soon the sound of the magrib adhan will roar and I am still faithfully waiting for the sinking of the sun in the western horizon.

I don't know since when, Dandi stood by draping his pride camera.

"Want me a photo?" tanyakanya.

"A real liar, when in fact secretly took a picture of me." Dandi pulls the corner of the lips upwards. I don't like to see her slanted smile.

"Can't you know that?" tanyanya stared at her feet that were soaked in the waves.

"Just like, Ki Joko Pintar used to be a friend of mine playing guli, so the contagion can be psychic." I can hear the sound of the ruddiness coming out of his lips. He aimed his camera and took a picture of my face without excuse.

"Dandi!" pissed.

"It's really upsetting" I said, not liking.

"If you don't get upset isn't Dandi by name" Fina said, embracing me.

"Fin, you're bothering that guy who's a pedekate si. " chirps Rizka who joined in.

"Shut up!" it was me who made them laugh.

The sun started to sink, I asked Dandi to take a picture of me turning my back to the camera. Then, without permission, Rizka took a photo of me and Dandi who were very close when I was looking at the results of my photo taken by Dandi. And more annoyingly, Dandi actually thanked Rizka for taking photos without permission.

After that we went to look for a mosque to fulfill our duty as Muslims. Then after that we moved to our hometown, back to Medan.

The days of doing a trip made my body want to crumble because of fatigue. Arriving in Medan I can make sure it will be sprawled for days in bed.

***

For three days I was forced to take fever-lowering drugs and antibiotics. And during that time also Dandi diligently visited the house two to three times a day. No need to be asked what food he brought me, that annoying guy kept sending me food.

Today I was able to continue writing even though my mother did not allow me to go out. At first my mother did not allow it, but suddenly I got the news that the guy I had been expecting had secretly returned to Medan, made me leave with my mom and forget the writing I had to finish.

Once I reached Merdeka Square, a place commonly used for seven dozen ceremonies and often used as a place for exhibitions or major events, I stepped towards one of the eating places there.  Right, he's back, and now he's sitting with a pretty girl I know as his sister.

He was a little thin, his face was pale, like a sick person.

"Assalamualaikum." I said with a sweet smile.

"Waalaikumsalam" they said together.

"Finally can see the face of Mbak directly yes" said Tasya with a smile. During this time we only communicate through facebook and some social media. Likewise with Naufal, we occasionally communicate through social media.

"Yes really. Another holiday or something?" ask me for a stale base because it's actually a little awkward.

"Take your own holiday." explained Naufal who I struggled with nods.

"I'll be married in two weeks."

Door. His voice was like a shot that scattered hot lead and landed right to tear my heart. Destroying all the dreams and dreams I wanted to build with her. I wish my ears were deaf now, I don't want to hear this painful thing.

The blue invitation paper Tasya gave me. I grinned bitterly withstanding the crystal grains that urged out to wet my cheeks. No. gabe. I can't cry, at least don't cry here.

I hope Dandi calls me now and takes me away from here.

"Congratulations. But the show was so far away, I didn't promise to come to Jakarta for an invitation."

The event was held in Jakarta, as the written statement.

"No problem Ma'am, the most important thing is his prayer. "I pull back the smile to stay on the face, after this I will go crying in the room.

"Yes, right."

The ringing of the phone that I was waiting for finally rang loudly. I smiled seeing Amara's name on the phone screen.

Without waiting for me to answer the call with a greeting.

"I'm outside, why? Oh jeez, I'm going there now. Yes, wait a minute, not long to go there. Okay." after the call was cut off I looked back at them still with a smile.

"Sorry, the editor called, I have to go to discuss the script of the novel I'm going to publish, so I have to leave now, no papakan?" my words are full of lies.

"Oh that's it, you know what, the other friends are also on the road to here." I fell back into a deep silence of pain. So he's not just taking me, but the rest of his friends? Why does it feel so crowded, God?

Is this the risk of loving in silence? Until the pain was just holding back alone. I can't stand being here anymore. I want to cry at home. I'm disappointed, hurt, how to erase my sadness?

***

It's been three days I've been in my room and cried sadly. Mama did not ask why I was crying, because the reason was already printed clearly when she saw Naufal's name on the invitation paper.

Not even three days spent on my tears.

Don't ever say I'm overreacting from crying for days, you don't know how sad this is. Can you count how many years I've loved her in silence? More than one or three years. Nine years have I made her name, how could I not feel this sad?

As long as we communicate through social media, it is not uncommon for him to give attention and expressions that seem to state he will come to me.  Is he the same as other men? Just pretending to pay attention that isn't really there.

I'm wounded. Dandi doesn't know about this. He was busy to take care of his exhibition in less than three months.

In the sobs that are still in control, Dita-my friends when Junior High who now works as a nurse at the hospital called.

My hands shook hearing what he said. My tears broke again, this time more profusely which made mama run to the room to see me.

"Why?" ask mom in the door frame. I immediately turned off the phone rudely. Mama hugged me and I cried louder.

"Why?"ask mama again.

"Naufal died, Maaaaaa. He's got stomach cancer. Being in the hospital called me. Mamaaa. Three days ago he came to see me and said he was getting married, now he's leaving the world. Mama, he's evil, he lives in meuuu."

With tears still flowing faithfully, I went with my mother to her home. The body was lying stiff and pale. A smile was imprinted on her increasingly pale lips.

O Allah, protect him, the man whom I have loved because of You. Accepting his worship during his life on earth, forgive all the sins he has committed with or without purpose. Put him into your heaven without a Hishab, O God. And open your heart to receive all this.

One by one I saw my friends come to see his body. I have no energy to cover this grief. I cry without caring about people's eyes.

Tasya cried as she called out "brother". I gently rubbed his shoulder. Not caring about the tears, I picked up a yasin book and started reading it.

My love and longing are unrequited, so let this heart fly free. A miss? Of love? Why do you have to torture?