Surviving Pain Separating Difficult

Chapter 035: Feeling of Relief

While commenting on a wry smile, Tiarnan stared at the flickering lights of the city, from the glass windows of his apartment building the cars looked smaller.

Although as strong as possible to repel all the memories of Likta, Tiarnan still felt the presence of the woman everywhere. Slowly he rubbed the sofa cushion that his wife used to use.

“What are you doing now? Laughing at my stupidity with the waji*?” Asking Likta's old pillow, Tiarnan took a deep breath as he said, “You think it's that easy to go after sneaking into my heart and overturning my life? Please enjoy your free time for the next three days! Once you're done, don't expect to feel that.”

If it is not able to stem tightness in the chest cavity, Tiarnan cries, because it can make a feeling of relief. Gundah guluruh instantly.

Tiarnan thought the suffering of sixteen years ago was his deepest downfall, since then he assumed he had understood the pain of abandonment. And, in order to avoid falling into that hole, he did not allow himself to become emotionally entangled with others.

However, in fact not, Tiarnan let Likta control the whole soul and body. Thus, the departure of the wife is like a salt fall wound, the pain that has not healed completely re-gawning. It feels twice as painful.

Likta was the second person who once inhabited the heart of Tiarnan after his mother, and both left without explanation. Mother abandoned him when he turned ten, at that time, he needed a whole family figure. Not much different, with this second, the wife disappeared when she began to expect the formation of a small family.

Tiarnan sighed, recalling the events of the past. One day, after school Tiarnan and Tanya do not find the whereabouts of her mother, while the father always reasoned to be busy with work whenever asked.

From that moment on, Tiarnan was active in throwing a tantrum, in order to attract the attention of the father. Aiming to satisfy curiosity where his mother went.

“You want to be a hotshot, huh?” snapped Frits.

Tiarnan threw a cold gaze, gradually warmed up as Tanya's tiny fingers touched her arms.

“There are days without a call from school! The bigger instead of getting smarter, the more naughty!”

“If it's not like this, can Papa take the time for us? Where's Mama, Pa?”

“Once again you—”

“We miss Mama, Pa! Usually Mama who always pay attention to us,” sambar Tiarnan. “Will Papa, that Tanya cries every night?”

Frits ruffled his waist and galloped firmly towards Tiarnan, his outstretched hands grabbing both of his son's small shoulders. “Alright, if you want to know where Mama is.”

The two men of different generations were staring at each other sharply, the breath was equally wheezing. Frits turned his attention to the princess, cradled the tiny body and sat down on a chair. “Honey, can get Papa a drink.”

“Ya, Pa.” Tanya slumped from her lap, while running small towards the kitchen.

Impatiently waiting for an explanation, Tiarnan rejected his body from the chair.

“Tiarnan, back to your place!”

Reluctantly Tiarnan retreated slowly, dropping down onto the sofa. By age ten, his emotions tend to follow the thoughts of older people. He felt able to think like them, and began to question the meaning of his presence to father and mother.

“Mama is dead,” said Frits almost whispered.

“Cannot be! Mama is alive! Papa can't say that! Tiarnan will find Mama!”

As a child transitioning into adolescence, Tiarnan's emotions fluctuated suddenly. Sometimes so enthusiastic and curious about the facts, but do not inevitably feel hesitant and afraid to face reality.

As when hearing the father's brief explanation, Tiarnan chose to leave the house. He no longer ignored calling Frits.

Not yet ten meters, the motor vehicle brake decits deafening, the wheels that rub against the road are no less loud. Followed by the sound of a loud impact until the footsteps of pedestrians stopped.

While hobbling the motorist approached Tanya, grimacing while crouching near the little girl. “Nothing, Dik?”

Tanya did not open her palm, her small body was still trembling.

“Tanya, dear.” Frits grabs his daughter into a hug. “Sorry, yes, Mas.”

“Pak, sir, next time guarded his son,” said the rider.

“Tanya, any injuries?” Tiarnan's thick eyebrows intertwined, he held gently his sister's hand. “Sorry, yes, Brother doesn't know if you are following.”

“It's okay, Brother. Come on, let's go home, tomorrow just look for his mama,” said Tanya, with a calm voice typical of a nine-year-old boy. “Come, login, Pa.”

The incident made Tiarnan think again, afraid to ask why-why because of his rash actions. Day after day she kept searching unbeknownst to her father and Tanya, acting as if she was accepting her mother's departure.

Until the month changed the year of hope Tiarnan dashed, he could accept the reality. However, it formed his quiet personality. At first it was around the residence, it has been almost three years he traveled around the Jakarta area.

After completing tutoring, Tiarnan did not go home immediately, he spent time in the park. Just reminiscing about childhood with the most special woman in his heart.

That afternoon, the city park is quite crowded because the atmosphere is very supportive, bright and windy. It gets cooler when sitting under a shade tree.

In the distance Tiarnan saw two toddlers fighting over the ball, obviously no one wanted to budge. Exactly himself and Tanya, because only one year apart, never got along. That was, Tiarnan reviewed the smile knot while waking up from sitting, the departure of his mother became the glue of his relationship with his sister.

Eyes narrowed when looking at the look of a woman's face, Tiarnan several times rubbed the petals. “Mama,” murmured.

The woman he believed was the mother approached the two boys, taking the ball from the tiny hands.

“Mama!” tiarnan.

The woman looked over, the ball falling from the handle. “Tiarnan.”

The mothers also approached each other and hugged tightly and then loosened, while cupping the cheek of Siarnan, the mother said, “Honey, you are already big, added handsome.”

“This is real, Mama Arima?” tanya Tiarnan still could not believe it.

“Ya, yes.” Arima nodded quickly while hugging Tiarnan once more.

“Mama, ice cream, want ice cream,” said one of the stiff accented boys. “Come, Mama.”

“Wait for ya, Darling. Ma—”

“No way! Ice cream, want ice cream,” urged the two boys at last while tugging at the tip of Arima's shirt.

Still shocked and in disbelief, Tiarnan looked dumbfounded, grateful and doubting the eyesight, his tongue suddenly stiffened.

Slowly the distance of the mothers and children was getting farther, Arima chose to go with the two toddlers. After Tiarnan was able to control his emotions, everything was too late, his mother went.

Hope that was once extinct returned to bloom, Tiarnan promised to bring Tanya here. Surely his sister was happy to hear this news, of course the father too.Will but, he had to make sure again.