Surviving Although Difficult

Chapter 5: making a decision

"eling mom, remember? Could it be the boy you're so sissy that he's the one who's gonna lift us up, you see? Even that poor boy is ready to be a substitute for nirma, for what, then,? obviously to cover our self-esteem."

again, sirde defended me, I'd be sadder if they fought because of me.

I sharpen my hearing, I want to hear what bude will do for me.

"father don't have much to say, mother did this it's all for our good, isn't it time the son returned the favor,!"

"reply to the mother?, the late home of Sulis parents who have helped many things for us, ranging from work, economics, medical school fees until he graduated from college, college, even this house was given up for us,? as long as we are willing to keep the most precious treasure for them, namely the sulis,! the child you asked for is returned."

"sir? What they give, it is not worth the cost we spend for the boy, you do not have to keep defending him, you do not have to defend him,! Let the boy marry the crippled man, mother can't wait to see him leave this house."

"prawny?"

I gasped when I heard Pakde slapping his wife.

"keep your mother's words?"

I just eavesdropped, now I dare to show myself.

"Mom really has no feelings, you can want something as low as that,!"

Snapping the pack on the bude lastri, I saw on the sidelines of his fingers, his cheeks look reddened by a slap from the pakde, maybe the pakde slapped him too hard until the palm of the pakde hand printed clearly on the cheek of the bude lastri.

"If Sulis wants to speak up, this very second he has the right to throw us all out, but the child's heart is too good to hurt us, and listen to what you just said, mom wants to throw him out?"

I felt my body tremble, only this time I saw the anger of Pakde, before Pakde would be melted if he saw bude lastri crying, but now his anger was out of control, I can see that Pakde is still trying to refrain from doing more.

"god, you know very well how to bring love and affection, so please soften his heart, put out the fire that is burning between the two."

I approached the old man and rubbed his arm.

"istighfar pakde don't share that anger, sulis it's okay if you have to go, anyway soon sulis will get married, so you don't have to worry about where I'm going."

After saying the words I saw Pakde repeatedly said Istighfar by occasionally stroking his chest.

"did you hear that, sir? That kid alone doesn't matter if he has to get out of here, he knows enough himself if he's already burdening us,! then why are you still stubborn, anyway mother does not want to know, after the official sulis married, he can no longer set foot in this house."

"darklame?" just now I was calm to see the pakde dampened his emotions, bude again voiced.

But this time pakde did not budris again, he just walked past the bude and passed into my room.

I turned my eyes to Bude, there was a dislike look that he looked at, he said,

"this is all because of you, if you had died with your parents, my family's life wouldn't have been this difficult, why would we have survived the accident? Do you have thousands of lives so you can survive that death?."

"bude why do you hate me so much, and why is your life so hard because of me,! Isn't everything that bude enjoys is the property of sulis, so why do bude think I make it difficult for the bude family."

"yes? It's all because of your parents, he always thought we were just poor people who only knew to ask."

I shook my head so hard I didn't want my parents' names taken with me.

"bude my father and mother are gone, please forgive him, if what you did to me was atonement for my parents' sins, God willing, if you have to leave here."

I gasped when Bude grabbed my hijab, it felt like the hair was attracted by his hands.

"it's good that you're sober, and it's best to have your paralysed future husband speed up your marriage, because I don't want to see your pretentious face anymore."

After saying the bude lastri passed in front of me, my body collapsed on the floor, the pain so painful that I could not support my own body.

I do not know how long I sat pensively, until the sound of vibrations from the mobile phone giving mas tiyas rang startling me.

I look at the screen of the phone, there is a name zean listed, I slide the green button, until a sound is heard behind the phone.

"Assalamu'alaikum" said someone behind the phone.

"Goddessalam..?" I replied to her greeting.

"how are you" she asked, making me a little nervous.

"ba..good? Sorry about who?" manya curious.

"this is me tiyas,"

"degs?"

"mas tiyas? Why call me at this hour." My mind is nervous.

"hello?"

"eh i.iya mas? What's up,!"

"are you feeling nervous?" the question made me want to disappear.

"se...a little mas?" answer's short.

"what's wrong with calling me at this hour"

"i just want to tell you, if our marriage is gonna be held?"

"what's another month?" I was surprised and cut the words mas tiyas, I closed my mouth quickly, I did not realize I was screaming, but whispering mas tiyas would also hear.

"what's up? Is that too soon?" the question made me shake my head quickly, but the tiyas couldn't see me.

"Let's be honest with him, he also definitely doesn't mind if this marriage is accelerated,"

I take a deep breath, I do this for Pakde's sake, I don't want to see this family continue to struggle because of me.

"that's mas anu?"

"yeah,! Anu what?"

"can't you speed things up a bit?"

Tiyas was silent for a long time until he called my name.

"wrote? Can you give me a reason, why do you want to hasten this marriage? If from the beginning we did have a relationship, then it is only natural that you want to accelerate our marriage, but just this afternoon we met and decided to get married, if you ask for this, if you ask for this, it feels pretty weird if you don't go into any more detail."

I twisted the end of my clothes, I myself was confused where to start?, do I have to be honest or not, for sure, this marriage must be live in this week.

"bude asked me to leave,! after marriage,? I'm not allowed to set foot in this house again if I'm married, am I?"

The tightness I had held since then had to let go again, my words stopped changing with a hiccup.

"why cry, how hard is it that you feel,."