Reticalya

Last

People say it's better to be late than not. But for this one, it doesn't feel better at all.

The feeling of tightness that Axel felt for the first time. This pain turns out to be the loss of someone who means a lot to us. Life is broken, the world just collapses.

He hasn't been able to make Ciya happy, even though. Never mind being happy, appreciating the feelings of the girl he never did.

If only he could turn back time. If only he had realized his feelings sooner, perhaps his regret would not have been this deep.

Now the girl who always disturbed his life was calm. Rest in the final resting place, by the Lord's side. A God that even Axel doubted his existence.

Axel is still there. The place where his Ciya was lying with mounds of earth stockpiling his body. The ground mound looks a little more beautiful because there is a sprinkling of flowers on the top.

The headstone he had been holding earlier. It all feels like a dream. So bad Ciya hid this severe disease from him and all his school friends except his two best friends and Kenji.

“Why not say?” ogre. His hand stroked the headstone as if it was Ciya.

“I'm sorry for all the pain I've given you. I haven't even told you that I like lo.”

“This pain, maybe I'll bear it for the rest of my life. I could never love happiness for you. Now, I hope you are happy there and I will never forget what I have done with lo.”

“Goodbye, Beautiful.” Axel moved from there after saying his last sentence. Tears could not stop flowing down her cheeks.

Her chest was too tight to imagine her life without Ciya. There will be no one to call his name out loud, no one to give him a box of milk in the morning, no more boxes of supplies that he will receive.

Most importantly, there was no longer the figure of Ciya who always smiled cheerfully. Everything gone. Axel learns that appreciating is the most important thing.

If only he had been more gentle with Ciya, perhaps his regret would not have been this big. Maybe Axel will endure that regret forever.

If remembered, could he even fall in love again?

The answer to that question was too impossible for Axel. How could he live happily after what he did.

Steps limped. He no longer knew where to go, it felt like no place in the world was comfortable. Should he fight for his Ciya? Should he go with that beautiful girl?

*****

5 Years passed. Mother Jihan is still at home with her loneliness. For now there is no intention in his heart to have a family again. All the memories he had gone through with his late husband and his daughter's house could not be forgotten.

All the pain in his heart had not been successfully treated. He just kept trying to distract her by expanding his business.

“Mother!” yelled at someone from outside.

This is one of the things he is grateful for. The man he had considered his own son visited him too often.

Mother Jihan moved from her seat to greet her son.

“You're coming again? Until when will you worry about Mommy?” candelessly. Of course it was just a joke. Mother Jihan always felt good when the man visited her.

“Hhmm, maybe until I can't come here anymore?” the answer.

Mother Jihan chuckled.

“This time what other reason did you use to meet Mommy?” Mother Jihan invited him to sit in the living room.

“Alright fine. Because you brought something, so let's eat.” They both went to the kitchen together.

“Ken, your age is ripe now. You still have no intention to find a companion?” chirping Mother Jihan.

Yes, that man is Kenji. The man that Mother Jihan considers as her own son after Ciya's departure.

Kenji sculpting. His heart is always racing fast when someone talks about a companion.

Not that he did not want to, but in his heart still embedded the name Ciya. The girl had actually managed to hold Kenji's heart until this point.

Kenji tried to smile and act relaxed. “But Mother. Ken wants to find a lot of money first,” he said.

“Mother knows, but try to forget about Ciya. He won't be happy if you continue like this.” Mother Jihan who knew Kenji only reasoned to finally give such an answer.

“Iya Mommy later Ken search.” Both of them smiled together before then devouring the cake that was in front of him.

*****

“Udah is five years old, but the pain is still the same,” Daania said with a blank look.

The girl is currently in the city center, enjoying a cup of ice cream with Beyza. Holidays like this they do promise to meet and spend time together.

“And my body response is still the same if you remember the departure of Ciya,” Beyza replied.

“Ciya again what yes?” ask Beyza who it is. I could not feel her tears flowing down her cheeks.

Always like this, they would be very weak if they remembered all that. They know it's not good to always cry for someone who's gone, but can't they shed their sadness through tears? Occasionally, only occasionally.

“Haahh, ah already. Ciya will not like to see we are rich gini.” Daania sighed in trying to ward off the tears that were about to drip.

*****

“Hhaahh, so tired,” said the man. The man just finished his job. Her net turned to stare at a photo displayed on her desk.

Portrait of a girl in an all-pink dress matching her natural lip color. The thin smile that complemented her was truly exquisite in the eyes of the man.

A doctor by the name of Axel Lorenza tried to reach for the photo. Wiped it with empty hands.

“I miss you,”. It had been five years, and he still shed his tears when he saw the portrait of the girl. The girl who had become a victim of his cruelty, the girl who never gave up on him and the girl that Axel still loves to this day.

After his thoughts to catch up with Ciya five years ago and death almost took his life, Axel was finally saved.

He was determined to take revenge on himself. How could he die after hurting Ciya that deep, didn't he at least receive the torment of pain just before his death? That's what Axel thinks.

And yes, Axel is now a pulmonary specialist. In addition to saving people who have illnesses like Ciya, he also enjoys the pain of regret for five years.

The nightmare that came her every night was nothing compared to the pain she gave Ciya.