Repeating Flavors
Chapter 10 - Kevan's Other Side
#Kevan POV
Today is the day I am afraid of. I'm afraid of hurting Tania, the girl I love. But in the end I hurt him. Being an irresponsible man, unilaterally severing the relationship we have built for almost a year and a half. I knew this would hurt Tania, but I was much more hurt! If only Grandpa had never betrothed me to Tara, my best friend since childhood would not have been like this.
Rejecting Grandpa's wishes is impossible after what Grandpa did for me! If only I could be honest with my grandfather and Tania, I wouldn't be like this. Unfortunately I was too afraid to hurt both, in fact I hurt one of them. And what I chose was to hurt Tania. I'm sorry Tania ... I-i'm sorry!
Flashback ...
"Van, Grandpa wants to talk to you about important things. You know grandpa's age is not long. Grandpa wants to have a great-granddaughter from you, but this soon Grandpa thinks you'll object and not be ready. For that ... grandfather just wants to see you same Tara married so that grandfather is relieved when leaving you all."
Grandpa's words changed my relationship with Tania. Makes me have to sacrifice my happiness with Tania. Even if I refuse, grandfather won't mind. But ... I'm sure grandfather will be sad, and it will affect the health condition of grandfather. For that I obey all his wishes, even though I realize I will hurt Tania's heart especially my own heart.
Grandpa asked me to take Tara to a romantic dinner. All prepared grandfather with the help of his assistant. So happy Grandpa made me have a little hope for his health to recover. And I'm gonna tell you right away that in my life and in my heart there's only Tania. Unfortunately it was too soon, grandfather still did not improve.
The night that Tara and I did dinner, I met with Rio and Dea. They are Tania's best friends. I'm sure they'll tell Tania. But I know this will make Tania relieved and won't wonder anymore why I decided on her unilaterally. I know enough about Tania. She is a curious and ambitious girl. There must be a logical explanation. Maybe being a jerk in Tania's eyes is better.
While Tara, she's my little best friend. She currently works as a famous model. The beautiful parasites and have a crazy and high body shape make itself easy to gain popularity in the world of modeling. But I never had any feelings for him. Even to this point, she asked me if I loved her, I always switched the conversation. I know Tara's not a stupid girl, but she understands me enough. And while meeting Rio as well as Dea, Tara asked me who they were and who Tania was. Honestly I was afraid Tara told Grandpa, for that I lied and told them all my High School friends in Indonesia. Luckily Tara believed it and was not curious.
"I love you Tania ...."
I'm indeed a weak man who can't go against grandfather's wishes. Not because I don't think you're important in my life. But because grandfather's condition is more important to me now. Loving you is the most beautiful thing in my life. You are a good girl, unique, independent, also multitalented. I'm sure you can achieve your dreams even without me beside you, like I said before we parted.
Everything has changed, but my feelings for you will never change. I only have you and will always be yours. Even though I know you hate me now. All the wonderful things we've ever been through are the most beautiful memories I'll ever remember. Every time I remember all of our togetherness, there is a little serenity in my heart. I just remember you smiling it's made all the bad things go the other way.
I chose to be faithful without saying, but instead gave a real wound. Thank you for coming into my life Tania Jovanka. An energetic, brave, independent and unique girl who was able to bewitch me to fall in love since the first time I saw you. I will realize your desire to achieve my goals in accordance with what I say. So that someday when God meets us in his way, I want you to know that I'm not just going to obey Grandpa's wishes, but also as a proof of myself the same you must not be important anymore for you to know what I will be like.
Honestly I miss your passionate story when telling your favorite Bollywood movie, I miss your curses about bik Ijah and also Pak Ujang who loves you so much. I also miss you talking about dreams and hopes for both of us. All so quickly passed, only yesterday we told him about what we want to realize for the future of both of us, giving each other support to stay focused on the goal. But now, all that had changed in an instant, and it was because of me.
Maybe now my body belongs to Tara, but this heart will always be yours Tania Jovanka. I will keep this love up to every moment. Distance and time will not change these feelings. All our memories are stored neatly in this heart. It's hard to hold back from meeting you and explaining everything, but I know all the sacrifices I'm making now are for our common good. More precisely the kindness of grandfather.
Be happy you are always there, I am sure you will find a better replacement. Whoever it is, I'm sure if he did manage to be with you, that means he's a great guy. But I will never give up on getting you again if the time is right. I won't let any man take you away from me, Tania. It is my promise to you and to our love. Now let me be what you want me to be, as long as I can do it I will not be able to resist even if it goes against this heart.
Many people say that love does not always have to be together, but for me. If they love each other, they should be together. And I'm sure, even though you hate me now, but deep down inside you, you still love me so much. Because this heart never doubted that.
