Post-divorce

The Part 15

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Australia is three hours faster than Indonesia, it is eight in the morning, surely Kak Janu has arrived and is resting, I only reply to a short message to Kak Janu.

[Surely brother is resting, after brother wakes up we do video call yes, I will explain later the reason I and Atma did not drive you] click, message has been sent and only tick one, I will explain why I and Atma did not drive you], I put the phone in the bag. I saw that Mas Rama's infusion fluid had begun to run out after dawn, I replaced it, I turned off the flow of hose fluid on his body and replaced the new infusion fluid, after I checked Mas Rama's body temperature with the palm of "Alhamdulillah, no longer fever," I murmured, Mas Rama wriggled his body, our net view met ....

"For Amanda."

"For me, how does it feel better?"

"Hmm ... thank you for taking care of me tonight with Atma." I nodded and smiled, considering our togetherness last night was both happy and awkward, and my guilt comes when I remember Janu's sister. I realize my current position as Kak Janu's wife-to-be is not as close as I was last night with Mas Rama, but I can't do anything to deny it, deep in my heart, I'm worried about her. 

"It looks like you tifes Mas, if it still feels weak should do hospital treatment, how?"

"No need, it is enough for you and Atma to take care of me and accompany me." she replied briefly, she turned her back and hugged Atma who was still asleep beside her, and ignored Me.

"Hmmm, alright I'll prepare some food."

Just as I opened the door of the room, I saw Tasya behind the door of the room, he went straight into the room without saying a word and thought I was not in front of him, he immediately hugged Mas Rama from behind the position of Mas Rama currently turned his back to us because Mas Rama hugged Atma,

"Nrank ...." Without seeing who hugged him, he muttered my name, maybe Mas Rama thought I was holding him, I just closed my eyes when Rama said my name, O God what will happen? Wanting me to scream, "it's Tasya not Me." but the sentence was stuck in the esophagus.

"I'm Tasya, not Amanda. Ohh so you guys slept all three last night, what are you doing, huhh? Answer it? You widow don't know yourself, you're Amanda."

"Take care of what you say, Tasya!!!" Mas Rama half shouted

"Even though I am a widow, but I am not as low as you say, watch your words, I do not want Atma to wake up and listen to all your evil words Tasya." I forced Tasya's hand to leave the room so as not to disturb Atma who was still asleep.

"Mas Rama was sick, he was found unconscious in the room when I and Atma came, we did nothing as you imagined, do not insult and accuse me if you do not know the truth, he said, anything you want to ask me again?"

"Why did Rama call me Amanda when I hugged her? Did you hug Rama last night?" 

"You think I'm a thirsty woman with a man's arms? I have a future husband, and soon to be married, I'll hug my husband, not another man." I gave up like that, for it is true that I did not embrace Mas Rama, but he embraced me. But I will not be honest because surely he will still corner Me.

"Well I will not argue with you again, suppose I believe in you, for I doubt what you say."

"Whatever, I'll prepare breakfast for Rama and Atma." I also passed him to the kitchen, I saw he went back into the room, I tried to calm down not provoked emotions, I was not upset, I knew Tasya from the beginning of the meeting did not like Me and Atma.

In the kitchen of Bik Tarsih already prepared breakfast for us, I ate first to replenish the energy, before returning to the room to wake Atma and take care of Mas Rama's health, he said, I sat down at the dinner table accompanied by Tarsih's monk.

"Sir, what the hell is a witch here?" Bik Tarsih, the household assistant of Ms. Ratri's family during the time I and Atma settled in the building, so she knew all these relatives and families.

"Huss bik, Tasya will hear it becomes a problem."

"Bibik doesn't like non Tasya, arrogant and arrogant, Ms Amanda know not?"

"Where I know bik, is Bik Tarsih has not said anything." I chuckled at the look on Tarsih's face that looked upset

"Non Tasya will soon be a part of this family, last Sunday Mas Rama proposed to him, and another month will be a marriage contract and reception." I was quite surprised to hear the news of the wedding because at all Mother or anyone did not tell me this, hearing the news somehow I felt pain in my heart until it felt tight, it felt like, repeatedly neutralizing the feeling I was feeling, 'is this love? I cannot love him, this feeling is wrong, I already have Brother Janu, and soon Mas Rama will also be married to Tasya. And I tried to suppress all these feelings from growing and deep-rooted in my heart.

"Mas Rama is already very enough in terms of material and age to build a bik household, then what is the problem?" My words look ordinary, but my heart is turbulent.

"Bibik doesn't agree that same non Tasya, why not just Amanda" 

"I am only a widow with one child Bik, rarely anyone wants to be the same widow if not really love." I also laughed sweetly, I laughed, given my life journey as a single parent to Atma and the views of people who consider the skewed status that I bear.

"That means that Amanda's future husband really loves ya ..." Tarsih's speech made my laughter break as well, he made me realize, I have someone who loves me all this time, Janu's sister ....

Leaving my legs to the room on the upper floor, I tried to neutralize my feelings, reassure myself, Mas Rama means nothing to me and this feeling is not love. I must be happy to see that someone who has been considered a father by Atma will live with a woman who will give him happiness.

"Let's choose Rama, which invitation model will we use?" I heard Tasya was very enthusiastic when presenting several models of invitations to Rama mas,

"You alone choose, I follow." replied Mas Rama indifferently.

"Papa's getting married to Aunt Tasya?" Atma's question to all of us,

"Yes dong, later if Aunt is married to Papa Rama, Atma should not be spoiled ya Papa Rama!" Tasya's words made Atma rise from the lap of Mas Rama and embrace me who was standing.

"Tasya please don't talk that makes Atma sad!!!"

"Her time should understand, I don't want to see that after we get married you're busy meeting her and her mother"

"Atma is still very small to understand all this, please you understand!"

"Why do you blame me Rama? His mother should be able to educate Atma well, she should have told her son not to get too close to you because you are not his papa!!! Rama is not Papa Atma, you are the only one who complicates things, is Atma not a child born from a marriage bond so he does not have a papa?" 

"I told you to watch Tasya!!!" I was furious with his accusation "Atma is not a child of an illicit relationship, he is a child born from the fruit of a couple's love that takes place in a sacred bond of marriage."

"But look now, you made Rama Papa for Atma, didn't you? Hmm but pity also yes, you were abandoned by the man who was your husband at that time and also the father of Atma's birth." he smiled cynically.

"If you don't stop talking I'm not reluctant to tell you to get out of this house Tasya!!!" The white face of Mas Rama looks reddened holding anger over Tasya's speech.

"Mama let's go home." I saw Atma shed tears while looking down, I aligned my body so that I could see her face and wipe away her tears,

"Sstttt ... don't cry baby!" I carried Atma, she drowned her face drowned in my neck, the longer she sounded sobs.

"Your path to Tasya to make Atma cry" Mas Rama look angry. "sad sorry Aunt Tasya yes ...." He said to Atma, he tried to stand up to reach the body of Atma, but before that happened the body of Mas Rama was prevented by Tasya so as not to reach Atma.

"Let him cry, this is the fact that you are my future husband, my future Papa from my son will not be Papa Atma, I'm sure Atma is just his mother's wits to be close to you." tasya said casually without feeling guilty.

"Enough Tasya, do not throw me another condescending sentence in front of my son, if you know, I never asked Mas Rama to be a Papa for Atma, it was all on the will of Mas Rama himself, too shortsighted if you think Atma was made a tool by me to be close to Mas Rama. I'm not the kind of woman who chases a man like you do even though I'm a widow, I still have my pride. I'm not you who would hurt a child's heart just to get the full attention of Mas Rama."

"Amanda don't listen to Tasya's words, dear Atma, Papa Rama is still a papa to you, don't listen to Aunt Tasya, papa beg Atma, stop crying!"

"You better solve your problems, I will calm Atma." I also came out of the room holding Atma who was still crying, my heart was sad to see her like this, but I do not show sorrow in front of Atma, I must remain firm so that Atma does not grow sadder.

I drove the car I was driving home, Atma still cried even though I had calmed her down. When Gita came to our house, she saw Atma still crying until her eyes and nose looked red, and Gita followed us into the room.

"Holy Aunt's niece why? Duh ugly so cry, Auntie does not like to see Atma cry like this." Gita also tries to keep Atma calm.

"Honey already crying, Mama sad that Atma just keep crying."

"I'm sorry Atma, because Atma, mama scolded Aunt Tasya."

"Mama is okay baby, as long as you don't cry yes ...."

"Let's make the angry Auntie again Tasya, it's good to make Aunt's nephew cry."

"Don't Auntie, Atma doesn't want to see Papa Rama anymore, so Atma won't see Aunt Tasya anymore."

"Honey don't think like that, Papa Rama's love is the same Atma."

"Atma already don't want Papa, Papa Rama is not Papa Atma anymore, Papa Rama will marry Aunt Tasya, Aunt Tasya right, Atma can't deket Papa Rama, Papa Rama, Atma don't want to see Papa Rama, hiks hyks ...."

"Dear, it's up to Atma, it's important that Atma don't cry."

"Ma-maafin Atma ya ma', Atma already do not want to have Papa, later if Atma's friend is mocked because Atma does not have Papa, Atma will answer, Atma still has Mama." Atma hugged me tightly, shed the tears that I had been holding back from breaking out, Atma's words made my heart full of hearing it, the divorce of parents leaves a wound for every child because he will grow up with the incomplete affection of both parents, but this is my destiny and Atma's, he grew up to be a child who did not have Papa by his side.

"Atma want to see Papa Atma's bladder, hmm? As long as Atma is happy, Mama will do anything for Atma." My words get a protest from the Gita

"Quite brother, enough brother hurt himself, I don't want brother sad and get more complicated problems, Gita beg Kak ...." Hearing Gita's words, Atma slowly stopped crying even though a long cry was still heard,

"Is Papa Atma evil ma?" I was silent when Atma asked, I cannot tell all the past wounds to a child as small as Atma "if Papa is evil, it is better that Atma not meet him, he said, Atma does not want mama sad and crying, so Atma does not have Papa from Atma can still continue with mama, Atma dear Mama ...." She hugged me tightly, I touched her head and stroked her little back. My dear son my poor son, Mama promises to be a good Mama and papa for you, Mama will always make you happy dear ....

Eventually the three of us dissolved into tears and thoughts.