Pasung Tuan Muda's

2. Does God Exist?

"Good night, sir," said someone from the left side. He was the doctor who handled my wife in the ER room.

I also stood up from my seat. "Eh, Doc."

"So this is it, sir. I want to tell you the truth tonight, but not here."

"Yes, Doc."

"Come, Sir. Come with me to the room," she gently invited and the look on her face was very cold.

I followed him from behind. The increasingly heavy steps make themselves unable to say anything. Like swallowing thousands of kilograms of sharp needles, piercing the heart and cutting a reality.

That night, at the hospital. Anwar Mangunkusumo's. I sat on a black stool listening to a doctor's advice bringing information to my beloved wife.

The look in his eyes made me look like I could not turn away, as he looked very sad and he occasionally pressed his mouth with his right hand.

"So this is it, sir. You're patient in dealing with all this."

"Dok, don't beat around the bush. Tell me as soon as it happens to my wife, Doc!" hardikku with a loud tone of voice.

"OK-okay! I'll say it."

I, who was standing and looking at the doctor's face from the front, immediately slammed the body to stay calm and release uncontrollable emotions.

He took a deep breath and threw it out of his mouth. "Sir. Your wife is bleeding, and the child in her womb has fallen. Now, your wife is being critical and comatose."

Instantly this head was like being hit by a rainstorm. Lightning strikes my brain with a statement about a story I don't want to hear. The right hand hits the table very hard.

"Doc! You must be kidding, right, on me? Please tell me the truth, it is unlikely that my wife miscarried. Say, Doc!" both of my hands clutched the collar of the other party's shirt and pulled him from the seat.

"Sir, all are facts. You patiently face all this, leave it to God. For it is he who gives the gift of the child, and it is he who takes it."

"But this is the third time I've failed, Doc! Anyway you have to save my son, whatever the cost, I will pay for the origin of the fetus it remains ...." That cry colored the dark story tonight. Tears cannot explain what happened.

Repeat both legs and walk towards the ER room. Right in front of the portal that read Emergency Room, I stopped instantly. Look to the left and look behind the glass door. Electrocardiogram or abbreviated with a slow sounding EKG.

Watching all this with both eyeballs, I hit the ER room door with my left hand.

"There's no way I'm losing another child."

"This is the third time I've failed at being a father."

"Yes, Lord .. What was my fault all along? Do you really exist? Or just a false assumption for the people who indeed receive justice in this life."

Whining and crying, I turned into a squat until I finally fell asleep in front of the ER room door.

***

Morning has arrived, but the feet sound like they are pointing at me at this moment. In the faint, I tried to open both eyeballs. Look carefully at the people already gathered in front of the ER room.

They looked at me with strange eyes. I seem to have been asleep until the morning. Then, both hands try to raise the body. As much as possible to stay upright and remove tears.

How it feels to be at peace with time. After a night of lamenting and dictating the greatness of the Lord that he did not know when he showed. Not to mention having to witness an event of losing a child for the third time.

From behind the body, someone touched my shoulder slowly. Instantly I found out who was coming.

"Master, this is auntie bringing food from home to prop her stomach up" said Bi Ira, who currently works as a domestic assistant.

"No, Bi. I'm not hungry." After I refused, the view back to look at the Cape flower tree that lives very lush.

"Master .. from yesterday you didn't eat. It will hurt," he said again, very softly.

Both eyeballs turned back to look at the figure of the middle-aged woman on the left. When I saw that face, I imagined my mother's late mother. Yeah, almost the same age as him.

Without a word, Bi Ira sat on the right side. I also shifted the look of sitting so that he could accompany this sadness for a while.

He put a packet of rice on the chair. "Sometimes, we don't seem to trust the creator because all the bitter events are always abundant without any pause. However, we do not believe that the world exists if it does not exist."

At first glance, I found him with a flat look. Then, I pressed my head with both hands while gulping repeatedly.

"I didn't think my life was like this, Bi. Three times failed in one event, why should I experience all this?"

"It's not just you who are experiencing this. Every human being has their own problems. Try to pray and ask Him for guidance."

I also hugged the middle-aged woman to the right of this body. As if I could no longer say what I was feeling. Yes, maybe all this time I lived life just love rupiah alone, always forgetting Him who provides sustenance.

After a long conversation, I went home. As for keeping the wife in the hospital, I have secured Bi Ira. Walk towards the car park, and step on the gas very fast.

It took me about thirty minutes, I got home. Then, I opened the door and headed towards the room room to remove the work clothes that had been twenty-four hours unwashed.

A few minutes at home, the azan reverberated and the time of the magrib prayer had arrived. I also immediately carried out the mandatory three rakaat. Not to forget, to insert a prayer for the recovery of the wife in the hospital who is facing her critical period.

"Yes, Allah .. yes, my Lord. Give me the strength to face all of this. Verily, you are the one who gives the temptation, and you are the one who can reveal everything. Amen ...."

After performing the prayer, I folded the green prayer mat. In the left hand, the watch shows at 19:00. Just sipping a glass of mineral water, I ran back to the car.

Along the way to the hospital, occasionally both eyeballs turn to the right of the road. At that time, a husband and wife stepped together with their baby in front of a supermarket.

I also turned my head. If I had a child like them .. surely my life would be more colorful and perfect I as a husband, I said in my heart.

Tonight, right downtown. I stopped at one of the baby supply stores. Yes, open the car door and step inside the store.

Both eyeballs are spoiled with a vision around outfitting gear, colorful mosquito nets, as well as this eye-catching bike to buy.

Walking further through the baby supply store, tears trickled down on their own after stopping at one of the dark red toy cars. As stated in the USG a few days ago, said that I would have a son.

That happy feeling turned into a terrible scourge in this life. Not to mention the middle time toying with feelings that never accept reality.

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