Passion Script

CHAPTER VII

That morning, I greeted the sun in a doldrums. I snatched my briefcase lazily and I set foot on a sling. As soon as I opened the door, I exhaled a long breath that even made my chest even more tight, rather than relieved. In the courtyard of the house, I saw the figure of Maulana coming to pick me up.

Actually, I really want to sleep at home despite having to bother looking for the cane when entering the afternoon shift. But now, let alone the afternoon shift, even the morning shift I no longer want to be at home. I even want to get out of this world. I really don't have the taste anymore to step up and organize my thoughts. I'm dark. And her, the man who is now my fiance is one of the biggest reasons.

"I've got a job now, Dek," he said, starting a conversation on the way to take me to work. "Yes, not a regular job. Shavings."

"Oh, thank goodness."

My comment is flat, there is no desire to encourage because it does not want to. Actually, I'm not the kind of person who pays attention to relationships of any kind through social status or work. But this time it was different.

In the past, as I recall, I had also dated in this feeling, not liking. I just follow my friend's advice, try it, which might change my assumption that I can't fall in love because getting used to it is just a hoax. He said, if I don't try, how can I know. In fact, as it is today, I feel tormented. I'm not used to pretending. As I said before, the line between likes and dislikes is very clear to me. Fortunately, he throws a tantrum by asking me to kiss him as a sign of love. Of course I don't want to and try to give her understanding. Especially I don't like it. I also explained the principles of life that I have always held and lived. If he is my soul mate, let alone my lips, my body, my heart, even my loyalty be to him. However, he was still pushy so I could make an excuse to ask for a break from him. As I recall, the age of our courtship was not even a month.

The most important point in my story above is that we're just dating. It can still be decided to use whatever the reason, maybe it is already the situation or indeed that is the fate. Me and Maulana are engaged. Fiancee! That one word was like making a shock every time it was ringing in my ear. My brain is full too. It is true that a bond, even to a marriage that has been for years, does not necessarily guarantee its durability. Divorce can be caused by many things. But that only scared me more. Retreat not brave, faced with horror.

"Oh, yeah. Hopefully, Sampean fits in with his job," I said as a sign of ending the conversation.

"Yes." Yeah."

After that conversation, fifteen minutes to work, only used with silence. I didn't even shake hands and kiss her hands like most couples.

"Hey, Wulan!"

I'm turning. I found the face of Mr. Edi who had matched my steps. He is the supervisor of the production in my area of work. Even if we work in the same area, but I am under the auspices of a different department.

"Who did that drive you?"

"My engagement, sir," I said heavily.

"Ah, joke your times!"

"No. It's true that she's my fiancee" I said, reassuring her even though the confession made me nauseous. Even if I don't like it, I'm still at the limit of knowing myself so as not to negate it.

"Such a pity," he said.

"Darling why, sir?"

"The same time' I still rubbed him anyway. I've included ugly and items. Apparently there is still more. It's your darling" he said, who then passed before me.

The deg!

Astarghfirullahaladzim aposchland.

I felt guilty, my burden increased. Feeling guilty for not being able to love her sincerely, so I was burdened for not being able to protect her pride as my fiance properly. My heart is not free.

"What's up, Ma'am?" reprimanding Anisa who saw me leaning on the pole while daydreaming.

"Am I crazy?"

"According to Samean? Did Sampean think that Sampean was sane?" jest.

I smiled a little. "I'd love to be in love. Even I have always held the principle of protecting my chastity only for my future husband. I've never even felt how good that kiss was. Besides my husband, I did it to protect my parents. He said the girl who protected her chastity until it was cleared, it could help her parents get to heaven."

Anisa just nodded.

"But right now, I feel like it's free" I said.

"Can't you?" anisa asked somewhat surprised. Although I haven't said anything related to my last sentence, but it seems like he smelled some irregularity in it. "Sampean don't go crazy, Ma'am! Even I secretly praise the perseverance of the Sampean in maintaining that one principle. Even Sampean can still survive a moment with a guy that Samean likes."

That's absolutely true. In addition to the story above, I also had a chance to date a man I like. Even so, I am not necessarily tempted to do things outside of principle even though I really want to. Well, everyone must have experienced kasmaran. Let alone to be held, touched, praised, seeing his figure from a distance has made hearts stubborn. Yeah, I felt it before my heart ended up as dumb as it is today. And I feel like I'm a total stranger to the feeling of being in love. Secretly, I miss him.

"Ah, you praise too much" I said.

"I'm serious about this! Hey, what's really in your brain right now!" anisa Tuding.

I smiled miris. For a moment, I just closed my eyes while looking up. My heart screamed, but as usual, tears did not drop. I don't know what the cause, and when to start, I became a figure that is very difficult to shed tears. When my chest is tight, but I want to be able to cry, I often watch sad movies to stimulate my tears out. However, that way does not necessarily work. More often than not. If that doesn't work, I choose to dream rather than think a lot.

"Mr?" Anisa is shaking my arm. It's like I'm in a coma and she's a nurse who needs to wake up before I actually fall asleep.

"I only had time to think that it was useless to maintain chastity, until I had never even kissed it just for the sake of my husband later, but the edges must be left to men we do not like. If you refuse to serve, sin, but if you serve, not sincere. Is it so that it can be regarded as a reward field? Ah, I think, people who say that because they never feel love clapping one hand. Or perhaps only those whose sincerity is beyond the common sense of man. Aye, right? Not free? In vain? Doesn't matter that I hired ****** whose face and posture suits my taste, then I made love to her," my chatter.

"Astaghfirullahaladhim's chat. Samean's crazy! Absolutely insane!" his screech was not good as he hit my arm hard.

"You say I'm crazy? Why don't I just finish this madness of mine!" indict me.

"Sampean is crazy, but I hope not to be this crazy, Ma'am!" skink. "Istighfar, Ma'am! Istighfar!"

"You're kind of like a soap opera anyway!" I said I tried to joke, but it didn't seem to work because Anisa was shocked first with my words earlier. "That's just my thinking. Even if I'm not as old as you, but I still crave sin."

Anisa breathed a long sigh. "Then, what will Sampean do? It can't be this way, right? Does Sampean want to continue? If you continue, how should you? We are the same, Mother. You can't do anything because you have to."

I'm silent. I have absolutely no answer. My brain is dead-end, and my heart is better than that. The more I thought, the more I felt while remembering his face, the more grey my desire became. I was just afraid, when the desire slowly became blackened and blackened, would I be able to survive? Do I still remember the name sin? How do I end all this?