Passion Script

CHAPTER IV

I want to accept Maulana, but I want to singsetan (engagement) first. For the matter of getting married, I don't want to rush.

That's the sentence I said to the Maulana extended family as my decision. At that time, I did not see how the expressions of the faces of my parents were. All I remember, the faces of the Maulana family as young as saying Alhamdulillah once I heard my decision.

Me?

I still don't know how I feel exactly. Tasteless, flat or even empty? I don't know. I've forgotten. Maybe there is a little relief because I can finally get a prospective husband without the need to bother trying. I can also dismiss the jokes of fellow workers who sometimes say I do not like men. I can also lift a little burden on the hearts of my parents who sometimes ask if there are already men close to me or not. Without me knowing, without me knowing, that love and love, especially in my heart, is quite difficult to arrange especially until designed.

"Mom, I don't understand Maulana's face yet" I said after several days of being engaged to her. "Fear of passing the papasan on the road, I don't greet him because I don't understand, it's funny."

Either Mamak asked who, because I did not have his mobile number, the next night he came to visit. There's not much we're talking about, I'm barely asking any questions about him.

Vaaogb. That night, the night when I wanted to recognize her face further, my heart seemed to be knocked on something, or rather reminded even to the point of being slapped, that I was not at all interested in her. And even more unfortunate, he and I are officially engaged. Then, what exactly is the meaning of the relief that I had felt? Could it be that it was all just some sort of mirage after a while of being tormented by being bullied? Or maybe an inner burden on both my parents? If so, will all this continue just because I want to fulfill my social views as an aged girl?

"Then, what about your fiancee, Ma'am?” ask Anisa to me.

I'm sighing. My heart immediately felt pain. Like I said before, my current self is like being stabbed with two swords at once. Especially if not for not wanting to get married and forced to get engaged to people I do not like.

“Entahlah. That can be thought of later,” I said as if that was no problem.

“Don't later, Ma'am! Mumpung not far.”

He was right. Even though instead of finishing, I prefer to escape. Going back and forth is both hard for me. On the other hand there is my heart that is not accepted and so hurt, while the other side is the feeling of parents and family self-esteem. Which one should I give priority to? Can't time just freeze? Or can time go back to the past so I can reject it?

 

A girl refused a man's proposal! If you dare to refuse, can apes. Pamela!

Either who is the pioneer or originator of the above sentence which unknowingly and hereditary continues to be adopted until modern descent. Who still eliminated women in order nerimo-nerimo wae. It is certain, the sentence was triggered long before the first manuscript of Siti Nurbaya typed by the author. After all, what difference does it make even though HE gives a chance by turning back time, whereas I myself still do not have the courage to refuse. The future will remain the same.

Ah, if only he had not been rash and thought carefully about my request. Surely none of this is going to happen. Where I asked him to come alone in two days. I need to consult with my parents and more importantly negotiate it with myself. Do I really like him? Am I being edited by him?

Here, there are no two days, the next night he even immediately came along with all his family members. Intend propose. Is my request unclear? Or is he the one who doesn't understand? If so, how dare I refuse. Moreover, my family and I counted new people here. While his family counted old people and his father is commonly called pak ustadz by the people around. If only he had come alone, it would have been easier for me to reject him. Or is that the goal? So I can't refuse his proposal?

Ah, I don't know!

Then, who's wrong? I don't know. We could be both wrong. One of him who is rash, my fault is also who does not dare to say no or immediately refuse.

Finding a life partner doesn't have to be weird. Don't look at it from the handsome or not! As long as he's good, willing to take responsibility, that's the best. Let's be ugly just as smart as finding money. I admit that Maulana is ugly, an item, but you see she was diligent to help her father in the rice field."

My father's words came back to my mind. Coincidentally, the rice field belonging to Mr. Maulana is only 15 meters from the side of the house. So, you can certainly immediately know that there is a Maulana when helping his father in the rice field. It seems, Maulana has managed to attract my father's attention through that way What about me? My heart was not touched at all. Coupled with my father's opinion above, I'm even less with my own feelings and thoughts. No, no click that! Then, I revealed to Anisa as a form of disappointment.

“Parents are almost the same, Ma'am. For example, my mother. He betrothed me to someone I didn't like because of his wealth. Mending the treasure he himself is looking for, it's his parents' treasure. And the guy, Ma'am, geez! So ugly!” anisa said in response and instead told a story.

The story of Anisa is not good either. Unlike her smooth, white and beautiful face, her life story was like a muddy puddle that smelled stinging.

I don't know how many times he's been betrothed by his mother. The criteria are always the same. The man is ugly, old virgin or widower, but rich. Whether rich in what way, who and how others. Anyway, the important thing is to be rich for Anisa's mother. In fact, he was also forced to marry his father Anisa by his parents. The reason for her grandmother Anisa at that time was also the same, because the father of Anisa his son was rich regardless of the feelings of his daughter. In the end, when the efforts of Anisa's father went bankrupt, Anisa's mother stopped by leaving four children. Anisa's older sister, Anisa, Anisa's younger brother, and Anisa's younger brother, who is two months old. He either went where and knew already heard the news of remarrying a wealthy widower.

"My mom can't stand poor life" Anisa said grimly when she first told me. Miris. Moreover, at that time Anisa was still sitting on the bench of Junior High and became the only daughter in the family. And even more crazy, Anisa's mother even took revenge on her mother through her own daughter. Shouldn't he be protecting his daughter from similar fate?

Is Anisa's mother wrong? Wrongfully. So wrong. Especially to the children she had born and abandoned once her husband was poor. However, not when excluding her abandoned children, to me. Because he was forced to marry only because Anisa's father was the son of a rich man. The principle of Anisa's grandmother, who was later adopted by her mother Anisa, her son would be happy if married to a rich man. So, when it is no longer rich, not smart to find money anymore, it is only natural to be left behind. Because I don't feel happy anymore. One important point! They did not teach her how to be a good and faithful wife to her husband. They just want their kids to marry rich people! Point.

"So, how do you feel when you imagine sleeping in bed with her? Just imagine when you had to be hugged, kissed and caressed by her!” godaku is as dramatic as possible so he can imagine it clearly.

 

“Uh!” Anisa instantly stirred herself. “Inchant once I kick him out of bed!”

 

I laughed so hard that no tears washed my eyes. Truly tears of bitterness that arise from the alienation of the heart so that no power flows from the angle that it should. Because instead of laughing at Anisa's furore, right now I'm more apt to laugh at myself. If Anisa can still be excited when imagining it, then my heart feels like it is sliced when imagining having to be touched by a man I don't like. And this is what I mean about our friendship. That we have many similarities in the story and principles of life. As a result, this kind of crazy things only feel comfortable if we talk alone.

“Are we really choosy, Nis? Because in retrospect, of the few men I've ever liked, none were handsome or rich. The reason is simple. Because I like and am comfortable with him.”

It was Anisa's turn to nod.

“However, when it's like this, the effect is that we're like pretentious girls. In fact, just have not found the right one,” he said. “And one more, we never fall in love because we are used to it. We always fall in love at first sight. Right, Ma'am?”

“Betul, right, right!”

We both laughed again.

Ah, honey! My laughter and her laughter are on a different dimension. I can laugh because he's my best friend. However, the fact that I had been caught up in a stifling romance, the laughter from the heart was no longer there. My laughter was like an echo, as if it came from a different dimension. Only the form of laughter from the past is still recorded in the memory and makes me not forget how to laugh, but it is foreign to the true taste. As for Anisa, my best friend still has a chance to choose. His courage to refuse matchmaking made him still able to laugh loosely. Now I also know how powerful the impact of the word NO on future lives.

“Eh, wait!”

“What?”

“Feelings like Samean ever fell in love with a handsome guy. Really handsome. I've seen his picture.”

I'm stunned.

Anisa remembers it. Why didn't I? Is it because love is just ordinary love? If so, why should I be stunned and stammered before even speaking? I guess I haven't forgotten it at all. It's just that the memories were deliberately locked tightly in the deepest recesses of my heart. So that it is not touched, so that it is considered non-existent and worn out by time. However, when the memory was accidentally knocked, my memory went straight there, to a room where the old door was never opened. The feeling is not at all obsolete even though it is long untouched.