Passion Script

CHAPTER VI

My love story always goes perfectly. I always had a partner like I wanted. For me, it's not hard. As for the other loves that scatter around me, I just think of it as a sweetener. Sweeteners are just good. They can come and go as they please, either uninvited or deliberately challenged, both the ones I neglected and the ones I played a little. This is not a joke, let alone a joke. I am very attractive to almost anyone.

I wondered, How does it feel to have love clapping one hand? I've never felt it. Does painful? Does it feel the same as the feeling when we are left behind by someone we love? So, basically, we love each other? If it's the same, then I know what it's like. Yeah, I was abandoned once. Once. Just once! Indeed, who is the human heart that feels addicted abandoned? It could exist, but it was only for someone who had already crossed a crazy line.

Maybe since then I no longer play with other loves that I consider as sweetener. I was no longer challenging, let alone toying with even a little. Even if that sweetener love came without me inviting it, I would subtly reject it from the beginning. I really became a polite person. Besides, I also decided that I should really pick a fixed pair this time around.

Unfortunately, when I choose the permanent partner I want, the time is also the same as rejecting a sweetener. More unfortunate again, this sweetener love is deliberately challenged and I have played. Although in the end he chose to withdraw, but I can not imagine how he felt at that time. It must be the same as how I feel once left out. But what can I do. It's all too late.

This time, if it's not wrong, it's been five years, between me and him, he's never seen again. Not exchanging news with each other. However, for some reason suddenly the shadow of his face always appeared in my mind and also my dreams. I don't know since when. I don't know for sure. Probably since I got sick and was unconscious several times.

Unfortunately again, his face that appeared in my mind and dreams did not show a cheerful look. His face, smile and gaze seemed bland and hollow. I did not see happiness on his face. Even though it was only in delusion, I felt completely foreign to her.

How's it going now? I was wondering. The questioning also affects curiosity and eventually slams into deep longing.

Ow hell!

What's the matter? Wasn't she just a figure who was present as a sweetener love? Why am I thinking about it again and missing it? Is there secretly another corner of my heart that is cornering me? Some kind of regret maybe. I don't think it is. One thing is clear, I was lost.

I answered all these questions myself as best I could. In essence, the answer is in the form of defenses on myself. I confess that I was guilty of her. Indeed, I never explicitly apologized and subtly rejected it by choosing another. In the end, he retreated on his own. But, geez!

Ow hell! Ow hell!

What kind of feeling is this? Because the more I think about it, the more I fill it, the more complicated my heart becomes. As a result, my pain got worse. I often fainted and often saw the shadow of his face. I almost feel crazy.

“Ren, may I ask something from you?”

“Of course can dong.”

The answer is so easy. Ah, he always has been. Always nice and warm. That's my lover. The permanent partner I have chosen. And when I saw his face that was always filled with that smile, I couldn't bear it. The request that I had prepared for many days, coupled with great care evaporated in an instant. My heart became troubled, while my mind was not lacking.

“Kok silent? What do you want to ask?”

I'm trying to catch my breath. Why does it feel so heavy? I'm used to being outspoken with him. There is almost nothing we cover. But this time it was very different.

“You remember Wulan?”

His face changed immediately. Between me and him in this room it's like there's a pause for another world. Time seems to slow down. In this silence-wrapped pause, we could even hear each other's heartbeats.

“What's with him?”

His voice was like a bone-chilling cold.

“I ... I want to meet him. Will you look for him?”

There was another pause, but this time it was much longer. For some reason, maybe it's just my feeling, the temperature in this room feels very cold. Is he angry? Shouldn't anger create a hot atmosphere? I don't know. I've resigned. Because no matter what, I've already said that request. Not to the fairy godmother, but to her. While she is not a protective elf who can always grant my every beg.

“One time, Ren. Just once!”

I feel like a kid. Surprisingly, I couldn't help it at all. Those words just came out of my mouth as a form of plea. A request that probably made no sense to him. Had I not been sick, would he have slapped or even punched me in the mouth? I don't know.

“I only need a day. After that there will be no more. I, .. I mean, we'll be back like before and nothing needs to change. I can promise you that. Yes, a day is enough.”

I dare not look at his face anymore. I lowered my face deeply. I assumed I had reached the end of my plea. Because the truth is I'm already at the end. I was constantly plagued by a sense of mystery towards the girl and it was hard for me to translate. I want to know. Very curious. And I can tell you that I've met him. Will he understand my feelings?

“Ren?”

“I'll think about it.”

“Until how long?”

“Entah.”

I haven't even had a chance to open my mouth as she rushed out of my room.

You are truly damned, Setya!

I cursed myself hard in my heart. I should have known! And the truth is I already knew that the request would definitely make him crumble. But what have I done? He left without even asking why. Why did I suddenly want to meet Wulan after five years? He should have asked. Yeah, he should have asked! But the truth is not. Isn't that enough to prove that his heart was really hurt?

I lay down my body and close my eyes. Ah, it feels so crowded. That face again. Still with his blank and bland look and smile. Why are your eyes so empty, Wulan? What the hell is going on with you? Did you take so much revenge on me that I had to be stranded in this karma? Especially if I am sick like this.

Ah, yea! I forget. Karma is supposed to be so painful that we are fully aware. A man like me should be slapped. And ah, already! Finish already. My desire to meet Wulan will never happen. While the very agonizing feeling will continue to gnaw. My heart is really broken.

“I'll look for it.”

“A fast as you think about it? I thought, you will never fulfill my request earlier,” said I who was still wracked with disbelief.

“You're right. I didn't want to do it.”

“I know it,” I said softly. “Then, what made you change your mind.”

“If not me, will you ask your family to fulfill it?”

I'm shaking. I can't possibly ask my family. I really appreciate him as my girlfriend. Although the reality of the core of the application itself can not be said to appreciate. Well, how else? I said that too, it was the first. I can't help it, that's the second one. I'll honestly reveal my reason for asking, and that's the third one.

“Only you can.”

He grunts. Either he'll believe my words or he won't. Obviously, I want him to do it. It was much better than having to hide it from him. The side effects can be much worse.

“Aday only.”

He didn't ask. Because there's no way he's offered me a lot longer than that day. It's okay for me. Because a day is enough and I will keep it. After that, we will return as before. Let's just say there wasn't a day. It might not be easy for him. But at the very least, there is no longer that agonizing feeling that will disrupt our relationship going forward if it is not resolved immediately. That's my consideration.

“Yes. Just a day.”

I'm undertaking. I smiled too. It felt so good when I heard her ability. That sense of relief and happiness is very difficult for me to describe. It was as if I had never been happy. But that's how it is. I can't lie.

“When will you look for it?”

“Soon.”

The answer is so steady. There is hardly any doubt in it. And without asking why, I knew why. She jealous. Of course he wants to finish it immediately. If I were him, I would do the same.

Ah, a big lie! Because after I thought about it, she was the best lover. I am just a lousy lover. Not know yourself! If I were him, I might want to do something this heavy. Because I'm a selfish asshole.

“I'll give you the address stay.”

“Hp number?”

“I've long lost contact with him.”

I caught another flash in his eyes. And I understand what that means.

“Ren, are you mad at me?” soft ask. Not to seduce, let alone sulk. Since this is already over, then I have to take good care of it.

“Of course. You fucking idiot!”

I laughed bitterly. “I'm sorry, Ren. I-i promise. Just a day.”

He didn't respond. However, it seems like he can catch the bitterness in my laughter.

“Have you confirmed the status?”

“What status?”

“Not facebook status if that's what you think. Except his relationship with someone. Is he married? Because if he's married, it's gonna be a long one. Not easy to bring people's wives.”

“Take it easy. She's not married yet. It's just that it's engaged.”

“Good! Now I've got a mission to get rid of people's fiancees.”

I laughed again. But this time I felt my heart getting better. I didn't expect to surf this. My wish will be fulfilled. I can meet Wulan and find answers without having to hide from my lover. That's a huge relief.

“Only a day. I promise, Ren.”

“Iya. I hear. How many times do you want to say it?”

“While it goes on, no matter how angry you are at me, please don't do anything to it.” My face turned serious.

In my heart I am not fooling around with that word. He must not lose control. Although jealousy is the trigger. If I'm a selfish person, fine, I'll gladly accept it. I admit it too. However, putting that aside, I personally feel it is in our mutual interest. It's not just me.

First thing, I'm not lying. The second point, I indeed just want to settle the affairs of the feelings that suddenly came.

What if I ignore it? Can't do. I've proven it. What is, my pain is getting worse. In addition, it feels bad when we are with our own lovers, but instead imagine the face of others. This is what I mean by common interest. This feeling of helplessness should be immediately alleviated.

It's been. That'sthat's all. Point. Because the more rejected, the less good it becomes.