My Prayer From Forbidden Places

His nickname is Mas Bram

During my time off from his PP Brother, the Father called me every day through HP. Morning, day and night he would call me for hours.

His age was 10 years adrift of me. He is from East Jember-Java. Now he lives in Jakarta. I'm used to being familiar with him, making me not awkward to call him Mas Bram, not the Father anymore. He also knew that my real name was Raisa, not Nanda my pseudonym in the PP.

That is .. I called him, Mas Bram and he called me Dik Raisa.

On Sunday, Bram insisted on coming to my contract. The reason, he wanted to take me and my daughter for a walk together to the Mall. I thought, there's no harm in giving her a chance to be close to my daughter.

After I discussed with Mama, it was agreed the meeting place at Mama's house only. Because, if my contract is not good with the view of the neighbors. However I still have a marriage bond with my husband.Today we also met at his home Mama who is not too far from my contract.

Then I, my daughter, along with Mas Bram streets in the Mall of Depok.Starting from Mama's house to the streets in the Mall, I secretly noticed Mas Bram. Apparently, there was not the slightest bit of him paying attention to my daughter. His attention was only paid to me.

Although I bought a lot of groceries, until Mas Bram's car became full, but there was not a single sentence he talked about my daughter. Don't talk, just touch no.

For example, in the Mall, when I saw that I was tired of carrying my daughter, she was silent and disrespectful to try to help me.

My daughter was quite attractive to her son by running here and there, but, at all, Bram did not try to lead her.

　

　

Either because my daughter is not her own child, but, Bram's lack of concern for my daughter makes me still doubt her sincerity.

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Exactly on the 10th day during my off work, the sister of the owner of the Massage House called me, and asked me to go to work again.

My passion for working for a living and my daughter's medical expenses are not what they used to be. Because the husband I've been waiting for has no news.

Maybe it's not my soul mate.  Even though our marriage is based on loving each other, if not a match would like how else.

Let it be, I don't have to mourn the tragic loss of life in my household. It's the risk of my marriage that turns out not enough just capital to love each other.

Especially at first our marriage is not blessed by our parents each, of course, the failure of my household will be more severe I bear.

So, if I just give up now and go home to my parents in Bandung, I should accept this as the reality of my life. I have to dare to face it.

Without my parents' blessing, the man I chose to be my husband was irresponsible.

Let it be, look at the eyes of my neighbors will label me as a failed woman with the status of a one-child widow.

However ...

I thought, if I go home now to my parents' house without bringing the capital money to open a small business there, it's the same as me giving a heavy burden on my parents' lives.

Already a failed household, already tarnished the family name, and I still want to burden my parents' hudup again?

Oh ... don't let that happen!

The sins of my life since my childhood until her upbringing have been very much.I no longer want to give the heavy burden of my household failure to them again.

Well, forced I had to go back to work at the Massage House of his brother for a few months only.Until finally I have the capital to open a business and for the cost of taking care of my divorce.

***************

As long as I returned to work at Sister's Massage Station, my friends had not bullied me anymore. And they've started to understand my life principles.

If there are guests who are angry because they ask for plus-plus service, my friends will immediately enter the room to defend me by giving understanding to the customer.

Mas Bram, also still once a week to see me. Sometimes I still doubt that he does not have a wife, but the divorce papers were immediately shown to me.

Although he was very kind, even too good for me, but I still doubted him. It's not easy for me to trust Mas Bram. Moreover, he has no more attention to my daughter.

It took me a while to accept it. Don't let me fail to get married twice.

I can't give her my heart right away. There are many factors that I consider. There is a factor of parental blessing, a factor of my daughter who needs the affection of the father figure and a factor of my status that is still the wife of the person.

Alhamdullah.....

For 4 months I work, plus the previous 6 months at Panti Pijak Kakar, I have started to have savings that I can use for my home business.

One day my HP sounded.

I saw the tone of the call from Mama who used to babysit my daughter. I'm starting to fret. I'm afraid my daughter's illness is coming back

"Yes, Mama! What happened to Syafira, Ma?"

"It's not Syafira. He's okay with his dad, huh!

" What father, Ma?"

"Whose father again? Uh, Raisa, your husband came home looking for you. Let's get you home first. Put the Syafira on the run, later."

Soon I went to see my brother for permission to go home. I told him my husband was coming home. During that time I asked for leave of work for Brother. He also allows.

I rushed home, afraid that my daughter would be taken away by her father.

Once at home I saw my daughter was still in her father's arms.

Thankfully, my daughter is still there. While my irresponsible husband finally nongol also in front of me.

I saw my husband's tears melt. And I don't know the meaning of her crying compared to my 10 months of suffering.

As long as my husband was with us, I didn't work at the Massage House anymore.

He once asked, during his stay I worked where. I said, working at the restaurant. Because I was sick, I took my day off.

If I did not have such an alibi, then my husband would be the amtar pick me up to work. And will be found out later where my work.

While Mas Bram still calls me often.

"Thank God that Raisa's husband is back, but if Raisa's deck needs anything, don't hesitate contact me, huh? I'm ready to help" he said via HP.

"Already, Bram. Stop the kindness Bram. Don't fill the account anymore, okay?." My request is to ask Bram.

What I asked for was never done. Mas Bram is still diligent in filling out my accounts every week,

Every time I get contacted by Bram, my husband doesn't know it.

And.....

If I had hidden my close relationship with Bram, eventually, my husband found out.