
After school, I immediately laid myself in my bed. The bright green music box. And back to listening to the music that is able to penetrate the mind.
I don't think the longer my eyes get heavier. I wanted to close my eyes, but I was afraid the dream would come back. I yawned wide a few times, I was so sleepy. And these eyes are not able to withstand this drowsiness until it finally closes slowly.
I woke up in the school uniform I still wore. I was so grateful that the dream did not come back. Scroll the clock, and the time already shows 19:00. It doesn't feel like it's night. I got up and rushed to take a shower.
After the shower I heard the door open. Yes, with this quiet atmosphere even the squeaking of the door of the house located below can be heard up to my room which is located upstairs. I went down immediately to make sure that it wasn't a burglar.
After reaching the bottom, Papa looks trying to lift an object that is half the size of Papa's body. An antique urn. And it seems that he was slightly objected by the weight of the thing. I also took the initiative to help him. Proving to Papa that I could do something useful for him, too.
"Here I help you, Pa." I helped lift the urn that was in Papa's lap.
"No need! Papa can be alone. Besides girls where strong he lift this heavy object," Papa sneered with a tone as usual.
"You can, Pa," I said, trying to convince Papa that I was reliable, too, trying to take the jar from his hand.
"Don't say, don't!"
"It's okay, Pa. It's strong." I kept insisting on grabbing the jar until it finally slipped from Papa's lap and my hand.
Prangg .. the sound of the urn breaking broke the silence of the night in our house. I know what happens next.
Papa's face was flushed with anger. "You are this . Papa said. Papa doesn't need your help. So the urn broke. It's the antiques Papa wanted all along. And you broke it. It's true, girls are usually just annoying!" spray Papa on me.
"Why the hell .. Why Papa always hates me. Is it my fault that I was born a daughter? If I could choose. I'd rather never be born" I said followed by my sobbing.
Papa took a breath. "You know the real reason why Papa hates you? Because of you, the one Papa loved died. If Papa could choose. Papa would rather you never be born than Papa should lose the one you love the most." Papa's eyes are round. His words are getting sicker and sicker. Every word can pierce my heart.
My eyes glazed. I can't figure out how Papa can talk to me that long. All this time I always thought that someday Papa's attitude towards me would change. However, with this incident all my hopes were destroyed instantly. It seems that at any time Papa will never be able to accept me as his son.
"I'm sorry I was born." After saying so, I immediately ran away from the house while wiping the tears on my cheeks. Keep running without knowing which way I'm going.
God, if happiness is in my life. When will you show it to me. If not, please give me a little happiness. I just want to feel what happiness is like. Mama ... Why did you give birth to me if I was just going to be a burden to Papa?
***
I walked with gontai along the way. Where am I going now? I can't go back to that house anymore. Because from now on that house is not my home. Until whenever I would never be welcome in that house. My eyes began to blur blocked by tears that began to flow again.
In front of me began to look complex garden. I was running too far. I sit on the park bench. Dreaming with solitude. I looked up at the bright moonlight shining down on the night sky. Maybe I'll sleep here tonight. My puffy eyes started to swell up a little.
The wind of the night was enough to make me shiver cold even though I was wearing a thick jacket. Fortunately, I was wearing clothes and pants. But I still feel cold.
I lay on my side on the bench. I hope it doesn't rain tonight. Slowly I started to close my eyes. But my ears caught a voice calling my name. I awoke when I realized that it was Bhishma ....