Mistake 1 Night, End of Happiness
#24.
🍁Advanced Flash Back On🍁
I tried hard to study, to get a full scholarship again, and of course I got another scholarship, and went to school while working.
you know, school, work, and study, if doing it together is so tiring? There is no encouragement when I need it most, no affection given to me when I am truly sad. Almost every day, when I was really tired, tired, I cried in the dark of the room and in the silence and as if immortal in my room. My chest is very tight, I want to feel like I give up, I always fall and wake up again, if I fall again, I must wake up again. What was on my mind until now, the words that I really wanted to get to my father and mother in heaven were....
"Dad, mom...Now your child who was once so afraid of the dark, now feels comfortable in this eternal darkness. Now your son who was once very jolly, is now an ice-cold person. Have you two been up there and forgotten about me? Please take me too, take me too so that I can gather together like before... I'm tired, so tired...! "
It was my groaning.Every time I said that sentence, my tears flowed back freely without my consent. Every day is always a lonely person, and still live life no matter what.
Crying in the midst of darkness and silence is my specialty. Is 12 years old the age at which to get this kind of ordeal ? That's a question that's always spinning around in my brain.
Time passed, when I finished from Junior High School and High School, I continued my education to a higher level. Of course my school fees are supported by a thorough scholarship. All my needs are paid for by the scholarship provider, where the residence is provided (even if it is just an ordinary apartment, but I am very grateful), pocket money always goes into my account, the point can be said that my life in college was very lucky. No need to work anymore, all my time is devoted to books that are very abundant in the library. I rarely cry anymore.
And of course, I carry the name of my college on a national level, get awards, and always get champions on any subject.about dozens of trophies, medals, and so on, and the certificate I donated to my college. Of course my pocket money increases, the money from the race I always get.
without waiting four years, within a year, I had already completed my S1 with a satisfactory grade and made many people envious. Of course with achievements like this make me not satisfied, then I continue my education in order to complete S2 and S3.
In the space of six months, I completed my S2 and S3. not something that was in the big, my IQ was above average, I have now earned my Prof. with my own efforts. It is true that the saying goes ''No effort betrays results''
''If you keep trying, there must be a way''
with my degree as a professor, of course I got a job as a surgeon, childbirth, emergency personnel, and there was still some expertise, so I was accepted to the top hospitals in the country. But when I was at the top of my career, came those who claimed to be my father, mother, and kaka. Of course my response to them wasn't good.I yelled at them and said..
"Heh, don't joke. Don't remind me of my painful past.don't make me think of the deaths of my father and mother who raised me, they died without getting any treatment. "
"When I suffer, when I work day and night, when I bash myself, where are you ? when I really want to die where are you, when I need love, where are you? ".
" The wijaya family ? Parsetan with it all. You hold back your stupid and silly thoughts with the reason to protect me? Hahahahahah, don't make such an annoying joke like this. At the very least, help me when my mom and dad get sick. But you guys claim you're always monitoring us up close, eat it monitor..!!! "
"You know how much I want to die? 95% of my desire to die, having to work day and night, dripping with sweat continuously, trying to be somewhat beyond reason because of forced circumstances ? "
" Don't you think, when you tell me the truth, I'll gladly run in your arms. Don't dream, I'm not the one who's gonna do that"
"At least, you were by my side when I lost my mother, when I was only 12..! Imagine, which little child could accept such a bitter and difficult reality. "
"Have it, don't appear before me with such a confident look. I am not a man who is crazy about wealth, so I have to get into your family card. "
after saying that, I took my action to escape from that house.
🍁Flash Back Off🍁
"And the continuation of the story you already know, so I also want to ask you something vivian. Was my decision too childish ? Am I being too selfish ? Have I stung outrageous ? "
doctor Rosa asks vivian in hopes of getting answers that could help her rearrange her thoughts.
then, Vivian closed her eyes and exhaled a long breath, then opened her eyes again, whether this was because of the room that was not exposed to sunlight or anything, or not, but the bright blue eyes of Vivian seemed to shine which made the rosa doctor who had been carried away by emotions, now calm when he saw vivian's eyes. Vivian began to speak...
"Everyone has unpleasant memories. Forgetting is the greatest redemption for your past. Forgetting is hard, what else for women. But it's not impossible. You must have the ability to forget and start a new page and live happily, or to keep remembering those memories and causing your life to hurt, and then to live in suffering and heartache. "
"There are some reinforcing sentences I've read while reading some books, Don't consider yourself the most tortured and hurt person in the world.I think that sentence is a big mistake.! Everyone has their own power limit, to survive the many trials that come. Everyone cannot be confused. Learn to understand others, learn to give strength and encouragement to people who are in confusion and distress with sincere advice and not his dropping. "
"You know what, in my family when I was only five, I had a very cruel training.year after year I passed like a hell, doing survival exercises with 100 thousand dollars a month, and much more. I'm not angry or disappointed in my parents. If thought well, they give it all to us with the intention that we can survive in this era and the era to come. "
"Imagine if we are spoiled and left early on, surely our lives now really no hope. There is only greed left. So according to me, kaka or I have been in destiny right from the beginning to live our life line like this.is not it ? "
vivian's answer made the eyes of doctor rosa wide, as if made aware by reality. doctor rosa who initially thought vivian was very young, but the reality of vivian had mature thoughts.
The answer that vivian gave seemed to have given a bright path for doctor rosa, and what remained was that doctor Rosa stepped into the path that vivian had given her.
Doctor Rosa immediately hugged Vivian and said Thank you while stroking vivian's head. I don't know what the rosa doctor is feeling right now, but he's really grateful for being met with this beautiful girl, the one who was none other than vivian who had become his younger sister.
