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Grief

 

 

Time has not passed, and today it has been a year since his departure. He left without saying anything, without saying anything, without even telling me if I should wait for him or not?

He didn't say anything. I found out it was from Rara. I don't hate him. Even though his departure changed a lot of things from me. 

This school holiday reminds me of a lot of things, I miss it. Even though I don't know exactly if he's coming back. I wonder, what he's doing, does he remember me, or does he already have someone else?

Somehow later, it's just that I don't want to open my heart to anyone right now, I'm so sure one day he'll come back. Although we may not be together anymore.

Iqbal invited me to meet at the park we used to go to, and said there was something he wanted to talk about. I said I'd see him. I prepared for a while and headed there immediately. When I got there I saw him sitting and thinking something. I don't know what he's thinking. He just didn't hear me call him.

“Bal, Lo why the hell? Dreamy of earlier,” said I surprised him, but have not made it aware as well. I called back to her a little louder, and she was surprised when I called out to her once more.

“Hah? Yes, sorry,” he said rather confused.

“Lo why didn't I meet?” I stared at him.

“Ah, that, anu—” he said was cut, I don't know what he was thinking.

“What the hell is Bal! not so obvious!” I said annoyed, while the one being talked to just grinned the horse.

“I just want to see you,” he said again.

“Yeah Bal, I'm busy knowing!” I said I was upset with Iqbal.

“Well sorry,” she said convincingly, this time I looked at her.

“Judah I came home yah!” my spoken.

“Why Lin? Lo disappointed. Because it's not Diego who stands here.”

“Apaan sih Bal, I don't like yah, Lo discuss about this!” my words will then pass.

“Can't! Lo see me! Why is he always special? just because of a short meeting that has been a long time,” he said who now voiced.

“I'm sorry, Bal, I'm leaving!” my words passed without caring about Iqbal trying to say that. I'm sorry for confusing you with all this. Don't you excuse me. I said what she might not be able to hear anymore.

I was evil, because I was with you but then I left. It's confusing for me too. Meeting someone I was waiting for and ignoring you. You can hate me.

I'm not too good for you Bal. meet someone better out there. I'm not that woman, I'm just a selfish woman. I put you in a difficult position. That's why I have to make you go away.

“Dek, Lo dapet sms tuh!” bang Rehan said to my surprise, I saw my phone turned out to be the one who sent me the message was the man at that time. What's he asking me to meet?

“Why Lo?” ask Bang Rehan.

“Cockwise, Bang!” I said I didn't want to worry him.

“Oh, yaudah,” the word is short.

“Bang, my life seems complicated very yak!” I glanced at Bang Rehan who was sitting with Rara.

“Emang, it's my cousin again both!” said Rara who was busy playing her cellphone.

“Udah not me!” my answer. They looked at me at the same time.

“Didih, what the hell!” I said again who felt uncomfortable with the behavior of both.

“Take care!”

“Eh, why Lo, here go!” I looked at Rara.

“Training so in-law Lo!” he said relaxed, while I looked at him inexplicably.

“Oh yes, Bang, I'm out!” my words then passed without listening to Bang Rehan's opinion, I immediately went to the cafe that was promised to meet.

I got to the first of the people who invited us to meet. Arriving there I immediately sat in the place appointed by the waiter. Looks like this place has been specially ordered, because I don't see anyone there, except they work at the cafe. Maybe they don't want this meeting interrupted.

After waiting for a while, the man finally came and apologized in advance for taking my time. He said straight away that I was invited to go to dinner to the woman's house yesterday, he said, as a thank you. Because yesterday I was willing to meet him.

I don't think he needs to do it. It's not for something big. But the man convinced me to come and he'll pick me up tonight.

The promised night had arrived, the man picked me up after I told him my address. Of course, first ask my brother for permission, otherwise. I'm not going out without his permission. Because I am his responsibility.

This man didn't say much, more accurately, there wasn't any talk on his way there. Looks like he's the right-hand man of the woman's family, sure, I think he might be his assistant or his personal bodyguard.

This is what makes me more nervous, I'm going to have a night with Iqbal's family. I don't know anyone there. Yeah, just Iqbal, and Diego their son who's not home.

Coming back here remembers me a little bit that day, when Diego left without saying anything. Not even his departure plan is known. Ah, I don't need to remember.

I walked into the house with Mr. Min walking in front of me, and I followed him behind. I saw that there was Father and Mother Iqbal. The man immediately saluted the man, after which he paid his respects.

“Welcome!” she smiled at me and I smiled back.

“I heard, You've been with Iqbal for a long time? You're her lover?” ask the man beside her.

“Ya,” reply Iqbal. I don't understand what this means. What did Iqbal just say? Why did he say I was his lover, wasn't it clear we had ended it.

Dinner was over, and I said goodbye to go home. I was uncomfortable with the conversation. When I stepped out, the man suddenly asked Iqbal where is Diego? Why didn't he join the dinner?

I stopped my steps and stared at Iqbal, he was so funny. He didn't say Diego was here. He knew I was waiting for him. I looked at him for an explanation. But he just kept quiet.

I stepped out again, when I found someone standing in front of me. Yeah, he's Diego, we're both staring at each other but not talking at all.

I feel very angry, but I miss him. Two feelings were present simultaneously, and it made me want to cry, he came up to me now.

“How was dinner? Have you met Iqbal?” ask without feeling guilty. His father approached us and asked if we knew each other.

“You know him?” ask his father again.

“Sure, I know her, She's my sister-in-law!” he smiled, I went straight from there.

Yeah, I might be wrong to have been waiting for him and hoping he would come back with me. But what did he say! You see, he doesn't think of me at all. I was just too hopeful that my second meeting might be different, I thought this wait would be a little better and leave behind a wonderful moment that you will remember. But you saw him, he didn't expect me at all.

I don't even know what to do, why am I waiting for him? I knew when he left, he said nothing. He didn't even ask me to wait for him. But I'm waiting for him.

Who am I supposed to blame? It was myself, I who did not understand it. I thought it was true love, but it was just me.

That meeting, I think maybe I was wrong too. He never liked me. Maybe it is like that for everyone, for every customer who comes. Yeah, I'm not too mature enough to understand all that and call that love. And all this time?     

Maybe that woman was right, she just made me a tool to take down Iqbal. Because he wasn't there all along. Haha, this is really funny and beyond my expectations.

I passed from there, I saw Iqbal standing in the garden. He looked at me pity, it made me feel a little guilty because all this time I was not much different from Diego, I left him because I felt met with true love. I went too far and I'm now being dropped. Could it be that everything was planned from the beginning? I walked up to him.

“You okay?” tanyanya still looks at me.

“Gapa, what?” I said as if I didn't understand.

“You gapapa? I think he did it on purpose, he does not want you to be in an uncomfortable position,” he said again.

“I'm gapapa, Bal, don't talk about it anymore!”

“Do not think well!” he said back to wake me up. For a moment I looked back at him.

“You said we were dating, Bal?”

“Iya—itu--,”

“Yaudah, let's go on!” smile says.

“But....,” he was cut off staring at me.

“You don't want to?” I ask to look at him.

“I want, but Diego,.”

“I'll try to forget him anyway, I'm wrong!” I said, without waiting for the answer, I immediately passed away. Because I'm sure it's time to stop expecting anything uncertain.

“Thanks, Lin!” he shouted in the distance, I smiled hearing that, however I would try to open my heart to him who was clearly expecting me.

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